CrazyKatLady Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I can't remember a time that anybody ever actually wanted to sit down and talk to me about my problems. I have been on my own for fifteen or so years, bearing everybody else's problems and nobody has ever actually sat down with me to ask if I am ok, if I need help or support...when I tell someone I love them, I mean it and will do all that's in my power to help them if they would like that...nobody has ever stopped to see if I need help, or at least helped to quit creating the problems in my life. So, I guess I will handle my depression on my own and move away from my past and the people in it. I forgive them, and I will also make sure that I forget them as well. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenTea937 Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 I am very sorry to hear that. I hope you can find kinder people in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Sometimes people aren’t aware that there’s anything they can do, or they perceive you as a strong person. They forget that even strong people need support. Maybe you shouldn’t give up on your friends. Have you tried reaching out to them? Try inviting one of them for coffee and say, “I just need a friend right now.” Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Therapists are good things. Find one and hope that you hit it off with them. I have no health insurance otherwise I would be with mine again. But I feel you. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 What about family? My mum is basically my therapist and best friend in one. She never tires of talking about my problems, for hours at the time and giving me extensive advice. Friends can only take bits and pieces or they quickly feel burdened. Men can take even less than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 While friends are often too wrapped up in their own lives/relationships/children especially, there is a difference between good friends and useless ones. I remember one woman I was friends with... She would write me long messages every single DAY about how she was falling apart over her narcissist bf..... It took daily talking with her for THREE years - for her to finally leave him. I could never get a word in about my problems. It was all about her. I am alarmed I put up with it. It said a lot about me at the time. Thankfully, now I have better friends where it is very give and take emotionally... One of them I can cry to daily for all she cares - she will be there to respond. And vice versa. Partners are good -but ultimately, your partners OWN values will sometimes put a limit as to what issues they believe are worth mentally anguishing over........ It is upsetting to not feel heard. I am fortunate to have people I can talk to, who care. It is hard to meet friends as an adult, I highly recommend pets to people who find it hard to truly connect with enough people in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I had that problem when I had depression and it was because I am the strongest person of the people I know. They couldn't really even see it. I would tell them and talk to them, but even weak, they viewed me as strong and that I'd handle it. They would only notice certain things. Like one friend kept trying to get me to go out and I wouldn't. But then she asked me for help on something and I responded immediately and she commented, "I've noticed you will only come out if someone needs you." True enough. I did it for them. But they had no idea the depth of pain I was in. If you're strong, sometimes people just don't see you as needing help. I was expected in the middle of my worst years to lead my family in making decisions on elderly relatives. Strong people are like fired clay when they're broken, still strong, but if they crack, they crack big. You be sure and seek out professional help and maybe a support group is what you need. You can certainly ask your friends for help, and I think the best ones will respond. Just be sure that if you ask them for help, that first you have sought professional help so that they know you're doing everything in your power to get through it and get better, because people have no patience for those who they perceive won't help themselves. Hope you feel better soon. Remember who you used to be when times were better and realize that's still inside you. Summon it. Link to post Share on other sites
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