Jsos91 Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 Long story short, I was engaged to a woman who left me for someone else a little over a year ago, she's still with this person as far as I know. I've generally moved on, I don't think about her unless something prompts me to and I've been dating someone else for the last while and things have been going pretty well (no major issues or fighting). My issue has been that my ex keeps coming back every once in a while for weird reasons. Through the first 6 months of our breakup she contacted me a few times about getting items back and once in the fall to ask me to adopt her rabbit (which was bizarre since I didn't care for the animal). She's accidentally liked and unliked pictures of me on my best friends instagram (I have her blocked on everything) and she still has all of our pictures up including the pictures of me proposing to her. I know the pictures thing might be nothing, I just think its strange to keep intimate photos like that up over a year later. The last month she's contacted me twice about getting sports equipment back which is weird because she doesn't play sports, thats all stuff thats been left over when we were together and she wanted to play in leagues with me. She texted me and I decided I wouldn't reply, then the next day she emailed me so I decided I would just respond to her text. Once I replied she also finally attempted to have a personal conversation with me by saying "I was talking with some friends the other day and your new girlfriend looks sweet". I told her I didn't care to have a personal conversation and she got a bit annoyed with me; a couple weeks late she says I missed some of the equipment she wanted back (which I don't have) and that she hoped I was "having a great long weekend :)". I told her I had given her what I had and I wasn't sure about the other stuff, she again got annoyed with my short response. I guess I'm just trying to figure out why she's doing this, I haven't reached out to her once nor have I had the desire to do so. I want to just leave things in the past and I'm confused as to why she won't just leave me be and has now contacted me 7 or 8 times in the last year. I've had friends say its guilt and that she's trying to know that what she did is okay, I've had others say that she's trying to be in my life to some degree for whatever reason. I dont know if Im just trying to understand an irrational mind because anytime I've broken someones heart, I've left them alone to heal unless they wanted to/were ready to speak with me. Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 (edited) If it bothered me, I would block her number Edited June 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 Ask her straight out ? Say something like “ we haven’t talked in almost a year, I’ve moved on and you keep messaging me... so what do you want ? “ Link to post Share on other sites
Adiron Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 Why do you continue to speak to her? Why did you hold onto some of her things? Just drop them off. Say "here's the rest of your stuff, there's no need for further contact". I think it's weird that you still have it. It's almost like a person posting "Every time I stick this pin in my ear it hurts, it's weird that I still do it, does anyone have any advice?" Just stop sticking the pin in your ear. It really is that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 After 1 year, she might wanna be 'friends' or check in. I wouldn't think too hard about it tbh.. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 In all honesty, for myself, I never cut my exes out completely because deep down inside, I hoped that maybe something would change one day and we'd get back together no matter how badly it seemed in the present moment. It was oddly comforting to live in that false hope..to live in the fantasy of those thoughts because the reality of them not being in my life was too much to bear. It was a self-deceit. So for yourself, you must be honest with yourself first and foremost. Are you lying to yourself? Are you in denial or deceiving yourself? Ask yourself why you haven't cut off the lines of communication yet? It's an easy fix. Either ask her straight up what she wants as Purepony suggested or completely block her off of everything so she can never get in contact with you again. In either case, you move forward. It is because you haven't done this is why she is able to contact you. Best of luck friend - Beach Link to post Share on other sites
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