babybrowns Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 I’ve been in an LDR for 2 years. Things are generally very good and my boyfriend treats me very well. An issue that’s become apparent for some time though is that I don’t feel he understands me that well as a person. When something really good/bad happens, I don’t feel like sharing it with him immediately because I just don’t feel that close to him and that he wouldn’t quite ‘get it’/ that his reaction would not be the one I want. Perhaps it’s because we have always been long distance and we are still getting to know each other better. But can this compatibility between 2 people be ‘reached’ as such? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 You don't mention in your post, but have you met in person? If so, how frequently have you spent time together offline? Is there a plan to close the distance? I can understand you don't feel all that close to him since you aren't in each other's physical proximity, but you probably won't really bond the way you hoped unless you are able to spend more time together. How often do you call/video chat/message each other? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 This problem won't be fixed while you are apart. You most likely need more time together to feel closer. Unless this is a college thing where eventually somebody will move home, the lack of closeness doesn't bode well for a future relocation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 Looking back at your posting history, there are lots of issues affecting this relationship. I don't think more time or less distance will solve your problems. I'm sorry to say that I just don't think this is the right relationship for you. He is not the right man for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 LDR has nothing to do with anything here. People in LDR's ... that's all they do ... is share and open up .... and talk about what happened today ... and what they are planning tonight and tomorrow ... and in the age of social media ... they can see each while talking .... In the old days, my partner and I just ran up our long-distance (there was such a thing) phone bills. So if you can't talk over the phone and you don't want to share, there is no reason to be in this relationship. The whole point of a relationship, it seems to me, is to have someone we can share out deepest thoughts with. That's the whole point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 (edited) I’ve been in an LDR for 2 years. Things are generally very good and my boyfriend treats me very well. An issue that’s become apparent for some time though is that I don’t feel he understands me that well as a person. When something really good/bad happens, I don’t feel like sharing it with him immediately because I just don’t feel that close to him and that he wouldn’t quite ‘get it’/ that his reaction would not be the one I want. Perhaps it’s because we have always been long distance and we are still getting to know each other better. But can this compatibility between 2 people be ‘reached’ as such? Thanks Still getting to know one another better for two years? No, not after 2 years of this. Have you ever spent any time face to face with him? If not, then what you're going through now is what you'd have gone through at the 3 month mark. As it stands right now, anytime you do spend face to face is like the honeymoon period each time you see one another, with each of you on your best behavior. That's not how actual relationships are conducted---you have to spend time in each other's company in order to get a full assessment of how compatible you are with them. Edited July 2, 2018 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 People in LDR's ... that's all they do ... is share and open up .... and talk about what happened today ... and what they are planning tonight and tomorrow ... and in the age of social media ... they can see each while talking .... So if you can't talk over the phone and you don't want to share, there is no reason to be in this relationship. Totally agree. But really, it has nothing to do with being long distance. In any relationship, if it's been two years and you feel like he doesn't understand you as a person, then he is not the right guy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I’ve been in an LDR for 2 years. Things are generally very good and my boyfriend treats me very well. An issue that’s become apparent for some time though is that I don’t feel he understands me that well as a person. When something really good/bad happens, I don’t feel like sharing it with him immediately because I just don’t feel that close to him and that he wouldn’t quite ‘get it’/ that his reaction would not be the one I want. Perhaps it’s because we have always been long distance and we are still getting to know each other better. But can this compatibility between 2 people be ‘reached’ as such? Thanks If you feel he doesn't understand you and you don't feel close to him enough to share what is going on why in the world are you with him? It's been 2 years and you still feel this way there is nothing between you. Link to post Share on other sites
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