How do you know if a friend is *blocking you at a club?

[Dodgersfan11]

I invited a girlfriend out to a club last weekend, we hit the dancefloor and I noticed these guys that were close to use dancing, I thought they were cute, one of them seemed like he was going to start talking to me, she then said that she wanted to go to the patio to sit, so I said sure. As we sat there, 1 guy approached us and ask if we wanted a drink, she said no. Then we got back on the dancefloor, this another guy that was standing there by the bar, asking me something about my dance moves. She then asked me what he said to me, so I told her. Then her guy friend came over and they were dancing together for a few minutes, as I wandered around and danced, this guy started dancing with me, as soon as they saw me, the both took my hand to dance with them-like my hint to leave the guy I was dancing, so I ended up dancing with her guy friend for like 3 minutes, then he left. I went back to the patio and joined her as I was sitting there this guy next to me starting talking to me, after we got done talking, she then asked me what the guy was saying to me. At the end of the night, I got annoyed a little, because she wanted to know the details of my conversation I had with random guys at the club? Like I think its none of her business really. She wanted to leave. And me personally I like going to the clubs to at least try to meet and talk to guys that I find attractive, I felt like she was c*blocking me. It just seem like I got more attention from guys than her, I would have liked to dance more but she said she wasn't too excited because of the music the dj was playing, I dance to anything except country, she wanted to dance to more hip hop music.

[Happy Lemming]

She was jealous of the fact you were getting a lot of attention and she wasn't. Of course she was "c*blocking" you. And yes, I completely understand, you go to a club to attempt to meet people you are attracted to. Shame on her for not supporting you in this endeavor and wasting your evening.

 

I'm a guy, I was never one to take a "wing man" with me. I prefer to work alone.

 

You either need a better "wing girl" or you need to go it alone.

Edited June 30, 2018 by Happy Lemming
spacing

[Dodgersfan11]

Yeah, from now on I'm going to the clubs alone, I mean, I'm there to have a good time on Saturday night/dance, but I'm there primarily to meet guys and that can't happen if I'm there with friend, if I'm there with a friend I have to accommodate them and I can't really do my own thing and chat with guys there randomly. I thought maybe bringing a friend would be fun, but if I'm there to dance with guys I can't do that.

[Happy Lemming]

Yeah, from now on I'm going to the clubs alone...

 

Also if you go alone, you can jump from club to club without having to ask a friend "Can we leave here and try Club 'B'"... Sometimes a club can be sparse or not have anyone you want to meet. If a unique band is playing, it may not attract your kind of guy.

 

Being alone, you may also find us "Lone Wolf" types that work alone and are looking for that female "Lone Wolf"...

 

Howl at the moon!!

[Dodgersfan11]

Yeah, if I met a guy "lone wolf" would be okay, but only if he's to my liking, or else he is just going to be another c*block who is going to ruin my evening. Basically I'm there to see which guys approach me and see which one's i'm attracted to, so I'm going to go through a number of guys to see which one is the right one, if that makes sense. The 1st time I went on my own to a dance club I ended up meeting a guy-he approached me, now I didn't mind talking/dancing with him, but after 1 hour of him not asking my number or wanting to see him again, it pissed me off to no limit. I don't need someone to waste my time, when clearly I could have met other guys. It kind of has its pros and cons when a woman goes alone, because on the other hand if I had a friend there, this c*blocking dude would have backed away, but then sometimes if I have a girlfriend with me, she is c*blocking me from the guys that I would be interested in talking to . Goes both ways.

[preraph]

I have never met a woman who did that. But it's easily solved. Don't ever go out with her again to clubs or anything where you'll meet guys. Don't know why she is doing it. Don't answer her questions.

[Dodgersfan11]

Okay, just wanted to make sure she was *blocking me or if I was just overreacting. I'm new to this whole club/bar scene. I found it really odd, that she wanted to know my conversations with random guys. And that fact that she's single and didn't want to interact with them, but didn't want me to interact with them was like ok. Weird. But I'm not going anywhere with her.

[Fugu]

You got blocked.

 

You don't need to go to the bars alone. Just go with a different friend.

[somanymistakes]

Honestly it sounds to me much more like she just wasn't having that much fun and was bored, rather than intentionally sabotaging you.

 

You've kind of got to be on the same wavelength to enjoy going to a club together. She was not up for the same kind of fun that you were. She didn't like the music, she didn't like the guys. She was pestering you for information because she was bored out of her mind and that was the only entertainment she could find.

 

Probably if you invited her again she'd turn you down anyway.

 

Take a different friend.

[d0nnivain]

Because you said you are new to the club bar scene, because you asked about this & because you mention going to clubs alone in the future, I'm going to ask a different Q.

 

Is there any possibility that she was doing this to protect you because she sees you as naïve & was trying to keep you safe from predators?

 

If you have the self confidence as a woman to go to a club alone you could be my hero. In my early 20s I could never do something that independent. However, it is outside the norm for women so I'm wondering if you are brave or if you are too green to spot the dangers?

[preraph]

If she's not interested in talking to the guys, maybe she's a lesbian. Or not. But it is weird. Seems like if she was trying to protect you, she'd just give you advice, not block you. Again, never heard of anyone doing this who wasn't herself after the guy.

[Dodgersfan11]

I'm in my mid 30's, and just started going out to the clubs, I never went in my 20's. I told her that I will be headed out to the club that night by myself and if she's not doing anything she can join me. She was surprised that I was going alone and I told her that I went last weekend alone, and that no one really notices if you are alone, b/c you can just blend in the crowd. She didn't say anything nor give me advice of the "dangers" if any. And if she was protecting me, then what the heck was she protecting me from anyway? Protecting me from have conversations with guys that approach me on the dancefloor? Isn't that the place to talk to guys? Or exchange numbers? Its not like I'm leaving or going home with a random guy there, obviously. I just don't know about this whole c*blocking scenario that occurs among females. I don't know if she's a lesbian, but she tell me that she thought a guy was that was close by was cute, but that she would never approach a guy. I didn't see any guys talk to her throughout the night, minus the guy that asked if we wanted any drinks. And she didn't give me any advice either.

[preraph]

That blocking you've heard about, I've never seen that happen for real. Men want to believe that the object of their attraction really wants them but that their friends are making her not reciprocate -- and that's not true. Women do help their girlfriends out in jams because they know their friends well enough to know if they like the guy or if they are just too polite to get her off her. So they will do them a favor and say, Hey, it's time to go, but only because they are helping her get away from a guy they're not interested in. This is something else. Whatever, just don't ever go with her again.

[Logo]

I have never met a woman who did that. But it's easily solved. Don't ever go out with her again to clubs or anything where you'll meet guys. Don't know why she is doing it. Don't answer her questions.

 

 

 

Really?

 

Almost every time I go out I cross paths with at least 1 or 2 blockers. Women are notorious when it comes to that whereas men will usually be supportive.

 

My friends would never do that to me. They either encourage me or act as wing men.

[Logo]

Because you said you are new to the club bar scene, because you asked about this & because you mention going to clubs alone in the future, I'm going to ask a different Q.

 

Is there any possibility that she was doing this to protect you because she sees you as naïve & was trying to keep you safe from predators?

 

If you have the self confidence as a woman to go to a club alone you could be my hero. In my early 20s I could never do something that independent. However, it is outside the norm for women so I'm wondering if you are brave or if you are too green to spot the dangers?

 

I don’t recall the last time I saw a Grizzly bear or a Python snake at a club. Do you carry with you pepper spray for bears when you go out?

 

We’re talking about women in their 30s here.

 

Let’s keep some perspective. It’s because of that mindset that there are so many blockers out there. They think they’re heroins to the rescue. It must be quite the self-esteem and ego booster for them.

 

There’s actually a name for women who take on that role within a group of women, they call them the mother hen; she’s usually the one that no guy is tracked to so she makes up for it by taking on an “important”.

[Logo]

That blocking you've heard about, I've never seen that happen for real. Men want to believe that the object of their attraction really wants them but that their friends are making her not reciprocate -- and that's not true. Women do help their girlfriends out in jams because they know their friends well enough to know if they like the guy or if they are just too polite to get her off her. So they will do them a favor and say, Hey, it's time to go, but only because they are helping her get away from a guy they're not interested in. This is something else. Whatever, just don't ever go with her again.

 

I honestly don’t think one can comment on a topic unless he or she has had actual relevant experience.

 

You’re hypothesizing and theorizing from a female perspective. And everything you wrote has no merit. Sorry. Try walking in a guy’s shoes for one night and then see if you can offer the same “advice”.

 

This is like a man giving a pregnant woman advice on what to expect at month 7 and 8 of her pregnancy.

[d0nnivain]

We’re talking about women in their 30s here.

 

There’s actually a name for women who take on that role within a group of women, they call them the mother hen; she’s usually the one that no guy is tracked to so she makes up for it by taking on an “important”.

 

I did not know the OP & her "friend" were in their 30s. I wondered if the OP was 21 & naïve so I asked.

 

Maybe the friend is the over protective mother hen. Maybe she didn't want to be ditched at the club when Dodgersfan11 got picked up by some guy. Maybe she's just a jerk. Maybe she wanted to spend time with Dodgersfan11.

 

 

It doesn't really matter. Dodgersfan11 just don't go to clubs one on one with this friend any more. Do other things with her but understand she may expect your full attention.

[somanymistakes]

I honestly don’t think one can comment on a topic unless he or she has had actual relevant experience.

 

You’re hypothesizing and theorizing from a female perspective. And everything you wrote has no merit. Sorry. Try walking in a guy’s shoes for one night and then see if you can offer the same “advice”.

 

This is like a man giving a pregnant woman advice on what to expect at month 7 and 8 of her pregnancy.

 

Pot, kettle, black?

 

A woman says: "You're wrong about what women are thinking."

 

Man says: "What would you know?!? You're just a woman! You should try walking in a MAN'S shoes for a night!"

[Logo]

That blocking you've heard about, I've never seen that happen for real. Men want to believe that the object of their attraction really wants them but that their friends are making her not reciprocate -- and that's not true. Women do help their girlfriends out in jams because they know their friends well enough to know if they like the guy or if they are just too polite to get her off her. So they will do them a favor and say, Hey, it's time to go, but only because they are helping her get away from a guy they're not interested in. This is something else. Whatever, just don't ever go with her again.

 

 

Pot, kettle, black?

 

A woman says: "You're wrong about what women are thinking."

 

Man says: "What would you know?!? You're just a woman! You should try walking in a MAN'S shoes for a night!"

 

"Men want to believe....."

 

Who should I believe? My own experiences? Perhaps my eyes are lying to me, eh?

 

When a woman who's interested in me is being dragged away by ONE of her friends while she's still motioning to me to stay with her, it's pretty obvious that the above statement -- whose source or credibility is unknown (Is it based on experience, on theory, on research, a study? - simply doesn't hold water.

 

It's not a matter of belief but a matter of real-life experiences.

 

"Men want to....."

 

"Women do help their girlfriends...."

 

Generalize much?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peas, pod, pea soup?

Edited July 3, 2018 by Logo