Cheating - Confront or Trust

[DrReplyInRhymes]

There's only so many signs of cheating that you can look for before you see everything as a sign of cheating.

 

Flat out ask her. You'll get a denial - but there's a chance you'll get a confession.

 

When she denies it:

 

If her behavior matches her words, then let it go. Just enjoy the relationship.

If her behavior doesn't match her words, let her go and move on.

 

Using tape recorders or hiring a PI or stalking her are all **** you don't need to do. If you don't trust her to protect your relationship from other guys who are going to flirt with her, then she isn't the woman for you!

[JuneL]

I got an idea for a reality show: "When the most insecure guy has a hot yoga girlfriend with a pair of fake DD's"

[smackie9]

Did you ever stop for a sec and think, maybe she likes to smell it because it reminds her of you? Maybe she smells it while she plays with herself in the shower.

[Lotsgoingon]

About putting hidden camera in her home, thought of that one? Wookin when will you realize you are out of control and when a woman makes you feel this insecure it's because she's not the right woman for you.

 

I agree with Gaeta ...

 

If you can't relax and just trust this woman, then something is off ... here's the thing ... I tend to trust a lot of intuition on this ... so even though the evidence if presented in a court isn't that overwhelming ... I tend to think that our intuition picks up more data points than we're aware of ...

 

I don't know how typically jealous you are ... I tend not to be a jealous person. I spend a lot of time figuring out up front if I can trust this person, then I trust them ... but ... if my alarms go off, I see that as an indication ... that either the person is cheating ... or that they're not that into me ... or for whatever reason I can't FEEL that they are that into me.

 

So for me, these are all indicators that this ain't the relationship for me.

 

I'm gonna disagree with others here: I think the open men's shampoo cap is potentially a HUGE reveal. Did you tell her this? ... That you find it odd that the men's shampoo cap is left open? I think that would be my first step ... and then I'd run the credibility radar on her answer, analyzing not just the logic of her answer, but her body language, tone ... the whole thing.

 

Gotta say this is a great case study. You gotta keep us apprised of your next steps.

[JuneL]

Maybe one of her kids used your body wash?

[lostmyway82]

If you are sleeping with a women and she brings up the trust factor, something is clearly wrong.

 

You do not ask people to trust you, you earn people trust.

 

Clearly she hasn't earned yours.

 

Women like these are like old used cars. People usually avoid buying old used cars because they can be really unreliable at times.

[sandylee1]

Why not offer het the chance to be a cougar before you settle down next time she says it.

 

You're always going to be insecure with her. She's superfit...Looks younger than she is...She's got a high drive.

 

You? You've previously mentioned it's not easy to keep your weight down and along with your other insecurities...I can't see this relationship lasting.

[NuevoYorko]

None of those are red flags and they serve only to illustrate your own insecurities and control issues. The fact that you have already equated these things to "cheating" and worthy of confrontation should be red flags to her.

 

Frankly she must have insecurity issues of her own. A well centered person in their 40's would not be in a relationship where their friendships and body wash are causes for suspicion.