mortensorchid Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 I have posted about this before, I have had many an issue with my self esteem and trying to do better with myself. I have tried to look in the mirror and build myself up by saying "I like myself", "I can do better", "I am strong", "Don't give up", etc. I wanted to ask a question about a certain topic as it relates to two or three separate issues ... I had wanted to be an actor. I had joined a theater company in my city about nine years ago and once I was a part of it, I really wanted to someday get a part. I did a lot of set building and promotion for them, and I would try out. I got the same answers "YOu're too old and you have no experience." In the particular instance of this theater company, I felt like they were doing nothing but taking from me after a while. I dragged my feet on it, but I felt like I was being used. I told myself this was how I gave back to the community, but they were just taking. I didn't want to let go of it. Then, the straw that broke the camel's back happened when someone gave me attitude over a Facebook post, and I washed my hands of her. And I decided that the company can now do without me. People outside of it told me I have done the right thing, it was very self centered of all of them not to give me a part after everything I had done for them. So that's behind me, I let the company manager know that I will not be coming to builds anymore. Nothing takes away from the feelings like I have felt - I'm too old (at 43) and have no experiences. A little voice said to me that I should not give up, I'm not too old to do anything. It's not too late yet. And today on Facebook I saw a post for a community theater that has an open casting call looking for a show, and they need extras. Try again? I'm afraid. I'm afraid of being rejected again even as a non speaking extra on the stage. And what really makes me afraid is that this guy I had a crush on about 4 years ago is at this theater (or has been in the recent past) and I may bump into him. For review, I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said "I am not interested in you romantically". I walked away and never spoke a word again to him. But what if I run into him there? No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, as Eleanor Roosevelt would say, but what do others think? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 If you don't get the part, do you think the rejection will lower your self-esteem further?? You seem to be in a fragile state, but are making improvements. Could a rejection cause you to spiral?? Is it worth the risk?? You wanted to quit the theater all together and put that part of your life behind you, leave it in your rear view mirror was my suggestion. Is it worth taking a chance and dredging up those feelings again?? How about we pick a new hobby for you?? Pottery?? Painting/water colors?? Something where you can express your artistic side without having to get approval or trying out. What do you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 I think the key is to only be around people who are kind and honest. Those people just weren't one of them. Actors can be arrogant and form groups, seems like you were just a hanger n they used to their ow advantage. I found it best to find like minded people who wanted me around. Just for the sake of having me as opposed to the help I could give them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 If you don't process rejection & failure well being an actor or a salesperson will drive you off the edge. I think you need to pursue a career / or hobby that won't routinely shatter your ego. Even if you are a world class actor with Oscars, Tony's etc. there will still be parts you won't get & you need a thick skin to deal with the criticisms. If you think you are strong enough to deal with no way more then yes, go for it. I'd be a wreck. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Go for it. Don't listen to the people who judge you yet don't risk the same as you have in order to bring happiness to your life. Go after what you want and do so with resolve. A man who supports your dreams and aspirations is the type of man you want, regardless of how high your goals are. Don't settle for mediocrity if you truly believe you were born for greatness. The moment you give up is the moment you fail yourself. If the actor clique won't let you perform at their theater, find a new theater. Link to post Share on other sites
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