goldengirl11 Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 (edited) I'm a bit surprised that I don't read more stories on here from women, who have been 'dumped' for another woman, be it an OW or MW. Although have seen it a couple of times. I am still very much affected admittedly, despite it happening to me months ago and dating other men. It destroys me still picturing him in bed with another woman, mainly because he never showed any remorse and all blame was on me. I also messed up a work trial around the time it happened, because put simply I was distraught. On a seperate issue... I am also being pursued by another man/old boyfriend, who recently separated from his wife as it happens, but I do not feel ready tbh. Although, if I am totally honest, I dislike he already has 4 children to 3 different mothers (not including his recent marriage), but feel that I've likely missed out on meeting someone similar without such baggage, as I'm nearly 40!! My parents are also advising me to stay away from him. He 'blames' me for his marriage not working out, as he says his heart was still with me (I tried to persuade him not to marry, when we were in touch again). I insisted we didn't meet whilst he was still married, so he asked his wife to leave a month ago. I raised my concerns about not wanting to get hurt, but he was desperate to meet again. He was far too touchy feely a few weeks ago, which I felt comfortable with. Edited July 3, 2018 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted July 3, 2018 Author Share Posted July 3, 2018 (edited) Sorry for complicated post re two issues. I really am feeling quite desperate right now i.e have failed relationship-wise / emotional wellbeing. I'm currently still on anti-depressants, unemployed (but actively seeking work / going to interviews) and don't have a counsellor now. I get suicidal thoughts, but trying to get my act together! Thanks in advance for any comfort / advice. Edited July 3, 2018 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 I suspect many long-time cheaters don't bother dumping one OW in order to cultivate another. Why choose when you can have ALL of them? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 My xMM did this to me. He "broke up" with me to be with another woman (not his wife) and because he couldn't "give me everything I needed." And stupidly I saw this as him being a coward and not recognizing the bond that we have. What is the saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them? I wish I had...instead I stuck around waiting and made things ten times worse. Personally, it seems to me you need a little time to yourself without any man issues. In order to focus on your career and well-being. Especially this new guy...blaming you for his marriage not working out? Four kids with three mothers? Yeah, I'd back away slowly from that...he is not worth your energy. Sending you strength and hugs. You will come out of this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 On a seperate issue... I am also being pursued by another man/old boyfriend, who recently separated from his wife. I dislike he already has 4 children to 3 different mothers (not including his recent marriage). He 'blames' me for his marriage not working out. I insisted we didn't meet whilst he was still married, so he asked his wife to leave a month ago. He was far too touchy feely a few weeks ago, which I felt (un)comfortable with. Please, stay far, far, far, far, far away from this man... So many red flags here... He is STILL MARRIED, separated for 1 MONTH, blames you for the failure of his marriage, and has enough children to start a hockey team with SEVERAL different women - which creates issues related to custody, finances, and shows a real lack of good judgment. I personally, would rather live the rest of my life as the old woman who lived in a shoe then take this man on with all his baggage... Don't let your fear of being alone let you make bad decisions! Stay far, far, far, far, far away... Some time on your own would not be a bad idea right now. Spend time with your parents, cultivate friendships, find a new counsellor, exercise, start a new hobby, go for long walks... No dating until you are in a happier place. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 This just happened to a friend of mine. She is devastated, but is beginning to realize how toxic he was. It sounds like you are attracting the wrong kind of people still and best to work on yourself until a good person comes along. No need to rush anything, enjoy yourself and life and all it has to offer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 I wasn’t dumped but was pretty sure he was pursuing someone else. How did I know? He kept mentioning her, told me he thought she was hot, said “she’s a friend”, and went out of his way to spend a good part of his workday with her. At the same time he was treating me worse and worse. I don’t know if they ever hooked up and I don’t believe they’re together now. Too bad for him. Jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 i think some guys have a few other woman more than one Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted July 9, 2018 Share Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) I'm a bit surprised that I don't read more stories on here from women, who have been 'dumped' for another woman, be it an OW or MW. Although have seen it a couple of times. I am still very much affected admittedly, despite it happening to me months ago and dating other men. It destroys me still picturing him in bed with another woman, mainly because he never showed any remorse and all blame was on me. I also messed up a work trial around the time it happened, because put simply I was distraught. On a seperate issue... I am also being pursued by another man/old boyfriend, who recently separated from his wife as it happens, but I do not feel ready tbh. Although, if I am totally honest, I dislike he already has 4 children to 3 different mothers (not including his recent marriage), but feel that I've likely missed out on meeting someone similar without such baggage, as I'm nearly 40!! My parents are also advising me to stay away from him. He 'blames' me for his marriage not working out, as he says his heart was still with me (I tried to persuade him not to marry, when we were in touch again). I insisted we didn't meet whilst he was still married, so he asked his wife to leave a month ago. I raised my concerns about not wanting to get hurt, but he was desperate to meet again. He was far too touchy feely a few weeks ago, which I felt comfortable with. i'd rather eat grass and drink from a mud puddle than ever lower myself to this level. the first man is not worth a cup of mud and the other one can't commit to anything other than sex without a condom. if you don't believe you are worth more than leftovers, i'm here to tell you that you are. and my advice is for you to start a mantra. everyday, 100 times a day, say to yourself, out loud, "i'm worth more, i'm worth more". over and over and over. because you are. Edited July 9, 2018 by Miss Clavel 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 Sorry for complicated post re two issues. I really am feeling quite desperate right now i.e have failed relationship-wise / emotional wellbeing. I'm currently still on anti-depressants, unemployed (but actively seeking work / going to interviews) and don't have a counsellor now. I get suicidal thoughts, but trying to get my act together! Thanks in advance for any comfort / advice. Right now your focus needs to be on your mental health and trying to get a job. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
grass-hopper Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 and my advice is for you to start a mantra. everyday, 100 times a day, say to yourself, out loud, "i'm worth more, i'm worth more". over and over and over. because you are. I wasn’t officially dumped for another affair. I was told it’s time to work on his marriage. And then I was told he loves me. And he wants to remain friends. And now as his friend i can hear the intrigue in his voice about new women he is meeting at work. It’s just a matter of time before he stops contacting me as his friend and starts moving in on the others. I know how you are feeling. My emotional well being is disrupted but it has been for the most part of the affair. A whole slew of emotions. But mostly Unworthy. I like the mantra. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I wasn’t officially dumped for another affair. I was told it’s time to work on his marriage. And then I was told he loves me. And he wants to remain friends. And now as his friend i can hear the intrigue in his voice about new women he is meeting at work. It’s just a matter of time before he stops contacting me as his friend and starts moving in on the others. I know how you are feeling. My emotional well being is disrupted but it has been for the most part of the affair. A whole slew of emotions. But mostly Unworthy. I like the mantra. That is one of the main reasons I didn’t want to try to remain friends with MM, because even if somehow we were able to actually do that, I knew I would’ve just become his sounding board for all the other women he wanted. Thanks but no thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 they just want to get "friendly" under your clothes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I like the mantra. it's what i call a "two-fer". first it's very soothing and second, it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 4 kids with 3 different women... enough said. Move on here to a more available man. He's not the one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted August 11, 2018 Author Share Posted August 11, 2018 4 kids with 3 different women... enough said. Move on here to a more available man. He's not the one. He was the "single" guy who got back in touch from years back, not the MM. Link to post Share on other sites
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