KHSM92 Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 (edited) My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married 7 this year and have two amazing children together.. there has been a lot of abuse and cheating on both ends (more his). We’ve separated quiet a bit of times because he simply “needed” space and I never hesitated to argue, I just did it thinking it’ll help.. turns out, he was sleeping with a co worker and I filed for divorce then he wanted to work things out and we went to counseling and my idiot self should’ve seen the first red flag when he walked out of counseling once I brought her name up.. fast forward 2 years and plenty of emotional(she was still in the picture), physical, mental(constantly comparing me to her) and verbal abuse. I told him how I felt, I told him how I feared for my life that’s why I stayed *one night we were sleeping in separate rooms and he came in and attacked me, cops were called and he was arrested) I told him how I loved him and wanted to be with him but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive all that’s been done. Mind you, I’ve cheated as well and I stopped everything with that person; I’ve even quit my job and changed my number. He says he’s hurt and I understand why, I’m hurt too but I feel very numb? I’m sad and I want to cry but no tears come out, we barely speak and are currently sleeping in different rooms. What I’m trying to say is, I told him I didn’t want to be with him and I’m kinda hurt because I never imagined myself being the one to do it, I always thought it’d be him. Edited July 6, 2018 by KHSM92 Adding more info Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 You should have went through with D the first time. You are fooling yourself and look what that git you. Wasting two more years of your life you'll be egret back for what? The only one keeping you in this mess is you. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 (edited) You should have filed for divorce a long time ago... You say that you have two amazing kids... Allowing them to be raised in a home with this kind of abuse, where they can never predict if their parents will be together/apart, is abusive to your children. Get out and stay out. Your children will thank you for it. Edited July 6, 2018 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 Yeah it looks like your marriage has run it's course. I feel sorry for the kids to have to have been subjected to all of this. I agree you both need to divorce and start again with new people after therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 This has stayed with me this morning... to answer your question, if you stay with this man and continue to subject your children to his abuse, you are not strong but very, very stupid. Is he abusive to your children? I would be trying to limit contact between him and the children if he is when you divorce. That’s totally unacceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 I'm not going to say you are stupid but you know you made some foolish choices. Once the cops get involved, you have to get out, stay out & never look back. The cheating just makes the cheese more binding. You are getting stronger because you have finally started to realize how dysfunctional & unsafe this situation is & you are taking steps to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KHSM92 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 This has stayed with me this morning... to answer your question, if you stay with this man and continue to subject your children to his abuse, you are not strong but very, very stupid. Is he abusive to your children? I would be trying to limit contact between him and the children if he is when you divorce. That’s totally unacceptable. He’s not abusive towards the kids.. they see me hurt when I try not to show emotion about the situation. There have been plenty of times where he’s kicked me out and locked me out of the room so I cannot get my keys and stuff and they see me frustrated so they’ll bang on the door and try to hit him when they see him hitting me. His family is no help either (I have no family out here) I go to his mom and all she says is “what’d you do this time” and his dad has apologized for how his son is and wishes he could’ve done more as a father to him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KHSM92 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 After I caught him cheating (with my own eyes) all he said to me was move on and get over it.. after he found out I cheated, he tore a majority of my clothes, harassed my managers, SENT THEM NUDE PHOTOS OF ME and stalked me at work! Even hit my car while my kids were in it!! He’s cheated on me multiple times, with the same female.. I had to change my number because she’d call and text me about them and I was told not to believe her.. she since has my new number and does the same.. she’s keyed my car, I’m being treated like I’m the other woman when I’m the wife.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 No you are the soon to be EX wife. Document the assaults & get him arrested. Document the mistress's transgressions. You may be able to get her on harassment & property damage. Link to post Share on other sites
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