Vanity1 Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 In every relatiinship I've been in ( only three but still)....As soon as we break up they have someone new! When me and my first ex broke up he immediately jumped into a relationship! That lasted only about a month then right after her he dated someone else right away. I was with that guy for ten months My second one as soon as we broke up he was already talking to someone else buying her expensive things. My last ex literally the next day we broke up he started hanging out with a different girl and soon enough they were bf and gf. And I'm there still broken pffff. Idk how ppl move on so quick. Some ppl are just so lucky! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Some ppl are just so lucky! Needy would be more like it. There are those simply afraid to be alone and they'll grab the next warm body to avoid having that happen. Don't know about you, but I'd rather get on the right bus than the next one... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Needy would be more like it. There are those simply afraid to be alone and they'll grab the next warm body to avoid having that happen. Don't know about you, but I'd rather get on the right bus than the next one... Mr. Lucky The bold is such a useful phrase! I concur. I am often incredulous at this myself and wonder about folks who every couple months they are posing with a new love of their life, while for me, it takes a bit of time for me to truly develop deep and sincere feelings for people. But, the truth really is that people who do this often don't want to be alone and so don't allow any cooling off time or time to process before they hop into the next thing. I don't see how this can be good frankly. When you do that there is usually a lot of projection and unresolved stuff going on and I would not want to be on the receiving end of it or the one perpetuating it. Not all that glitters is gold, trust me. And the fact that people often have so many back to back "loves" is often a sign that the relationships aren't stable or sustainable. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I think it can be far easier for the dumper to move on because they've already done their processing. Once they are out of the relationship, there's nothing left to think about but the new horizon. I've been there. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I think it's a sign of neediness. Lots of people have a mindset that being single is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. When I see people rotating new relationships on social media every few months, I just chuckle. For me it takes on average 5 years to meet someone I like enough to even attempt a relationship. Probably longer as I am getting older. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I guess, to some, I may be considered a "serial dater", as I have dated a lot of women and chose to stay single and not marry. In my youth, I was fairly nomadic and really didn't believe in long distance relationships. So when I moved... new girlfriend. There were a lot of "deal breakers" in my dating/relationship list. If the relationship is going well, small issues inevitably creep up and cause me to leave and go to the next. If a woman starts to use sex to manipulate me, I'm gone. If she tries to change me, I'm gone. If she starts pushing for marriage or moving in together too early, I'm gone. It seems the mentality in the women I dated was "Now that I've been sleeping with him for 3 months, he has to do this, he has to change that, etc. etc...." Then the hints or actual demands about moving in together or getting married would surface. As for moving on to the next quickly, I don't think it is neediness. I think it is just normal biological drive. Its just our basic instinct to want to mate that goes back to the times of the cave man. During a man's youth, testosterone is high and we act accordingly. Its basic male human biology. A lot of times relationships run their course and the breakup is mutual. There is no need to mourn the relationship as both parties have pretty much "checked out" and they are ready for a change. To each his own, I guess. For me, I really enjoyed my youth and enjoyed dating around; meeting new and interesting women was fun. I think I am richer for having known each of them. Now that my youth is over, I am in a long term relationship of 6 years. Neither of us want to get married, so this particular relationship continues. OK... I'm ready for the bashing that is going to ensue from this post, so have at it. I've got thick skin. "Variety is the spice of life" - William Cowper I'll close with my traditional advice to other men that worry too much over a woman or relationship... NEXT!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I'll close with my traditional advice to other men that worry too much over a woman or relationship... NEXT!! Seems that approach may at times ensure you'll stay a serial dater rather than in a committed relationship, though I understand the appeal of one may trump the other... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Some people just have plenty of options. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Seems that approach may at times ensure you'll stay a serial dater rather than in a committed relationship, though I understand the appeal of one may trump the other... Mr. Lucky Thank you, Mr Lucky. I was content as a "serial dater" and if my present girlfriend had not come along, I would have been very happy continuing to "serial date". There is something "freeing" or "less restrictive" about not worrying about someone leaving you or how much time you have invested in a relationship. For me, not fretting over this is relaxing. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Maybe we're also talking about serial relationships and serial dating as different things. Because if you're just dating a lot of people non-seriously it's understandable that deep emotions may not be involved so you can go from person to person quickly. It's weirder to me though when you have serial full relationships where every few months you're introducing a new person as your gf/bf, you're saying you love them and basically just last month you had someone else . That's the part that's odd for me and seems more needy where you seem to can't even just date casually, but have these sort of pseudo-serious type relationships with basically every new person you see and before you know it this new whirlwind has also crumbled and you're back on it again next month....doing the same thing over and over with the same result. Link to post Share on other sites
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