Are the majority of women opposed to "hook-ups?"

[Dodgersfan11]

Is it considered trashy for women to engage in hooking up? I'm in my 30's, single, I mean part of me says no because after its done with I'm never going to see the guy again and I'm going to feel used, then other part of me says yes-if the guy is attractive and he finds me attractive- then why not? I'm not going to look good forever as I get older-so I guess I could take that as a compliment. I don't see nothing wrong with hooking up if someone is single and not having any intimacy.

[d0nnivain]

It's all about personal choices. If you are happy in your own skin, carry on. There are some people who are going to judge you harshly for that choice, but that person may simply not belong in your life.

 

Enjoy!

[guest569]

The question is what do you want and why? How do you feel, aside from how society tells you that you should feel. Have you had hookups before? Figuring out how you feel and what you want will determine whether it is risky for you and and whether or not it is worth pursuing.

[alphamale]

depends on who they are hooking up with

[fredflint]

I'm interested in why you are asking?

[basil67]

Do what works for you. If another person doesn't like it, then they are simply incompatible with you.

[preraph]

If you find someone attractive enough that you do not need the emotional attachment to enjoy sex with them and you have no reason to think you're going to break their heart, then have sex with them. What you can't do is start investing emotionally just because you have sex with them. So if what you really want is a relationship, you can still have casual sex, but then don't have it with some guy you think you might really want a bigger relationship with. Just have it with casual guys -- and lord knows there's plenty of those. Be careful, take birth control AND wear condoms. It's not the 70s anymore. Now there's disease.

[thefooloftheyear]

I dunno if its so much about stigma as it is about practicality...While I never asked, id imagine most women I know wouldn't want to do it for safety reasons..Maybe attitudes have changed over the years, but most women really put themselves in a vulnerable position during sex with someone that they may barely know..Heck a guy my size and strength could maim or even kill a typical woman in less time than it takes to even think about it...Does that level of trust get established over a couple of drinks in a bar.?? I dunno..

 

And while I don;t think many women want to admit this, especially in a climate now where seemingly everything has to be dead equal among the sexes, I believe many women feel like if they participate in the "hookup culture" they are then "giving in" to the men, who are celebrating this as open season for easy sex without commitment...I always felt that the women who were very selective with who they slept with had a clearer advantage over men compared to other women who weren't as selective..They seemed to have a distinct edge..

 

Anyway, just a few thoughts...Its your life and if its what you want, go for it....The only part of your post I can't understand is the comment about "not looking good forever" ...If you are only doing it because you feel like "better now before I become disposable" well...Id say thats probably a poor way to go about it...

 

TFY

[fredflint]

I think hook up is a bit of a misnomer because it seems to imply that nothing more is a possibility. But we all know that if someone isn't already in a committed relationship, most people in that situation would probably consider more than just a one night stand, if it was a good experience.

 

So I like to draw a distinction between hook up and just moving fast. I don't see any problem with moving fast per se. I think fast chemistry is important.

[fredflint]

I think the majority of women likely say they are opposed to hooking up with random guys, but they have done it, and will likely do it again. Most single ladies I know don't sit around and embrace loneliness every weekend. If some guy wants to hook up, they sometimes do it. Maybe they just wanna get laid. Maybe they like the guy and hope it will lead to something more. Maybe they just want to feel wanted. Either way, it happens. As for it being considered "trashy" well, you can't help how other people think about you. If you become the girl that people know is hooking up with a bunch of random dudes, then some people are gonna judge.

 

Yeah and other people are going to judge if you take 3 dates no matter what. The answer is to do what feels natural to you, and if people are honest what feels natural is usually to have sex when you are horny.

[fredflint]

I'm not sure if just doing what feels natural is always gonna be good advice. If it was, I would cheat on my girlfriend a lot, and I probably would have gotten out of my car at a red light and choke slammed the guy driving the Corvette that almost fishtailed into my truck today.

 

lol, well anything can be taken too far...

[guest569]

Here we go again with all the men telling us what women think, say, do etc..

[firestar]

Is it considered trashy for women to engage in hooking up? I'm in my 30's, single, I mean part of me says no because after its done with I'm never going to see the guy again and I'm going to feel used, then other part of me says yes-if the guy is attractive and he finds me attractive- then why not? I'm not going to look good forever as I get older-so I guess I could take that as a compliment. I don't see nothing wrong with hooking up if someone is single and not having any intimacy.

 

“Trashy” is a sexist and misogynistic term meant to impose a double standard on women and men. Men are “studs” while women are “while”. Don’t let society dictate how you live your life and how you choose to have sex. Keep it a secret to most and confide only to a few. Live how you want to live and forget how society judges. Our societyis still very morally prudish and victorian when it comes to a woman’s right to enjoy her own body.

 

If it helps, I hook up with men on the first date all the time. If things feel right and the situation is right. For example, he makes it clear upfront that he is looking for sex and not interested in a relationship and I find him attractive.

Edited July 8, 2018 by firestar

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm not going to look good forever as I get older-so I guess I could take that as a compliment.

 

Why would youth or age impact one's desire to hook up?

 

Mr. Lucky

[snowboy91]

I'm in my 30's, single, I mean part of me says no because after its done with I'm never going to see the guy again and I'm going to feel used, then other part of me says yes-if the guy is attractive and he finds me attractive- then why not?

 

Let's turn it on it's head. If you sleep with a guy and do so knowing you won't see him again, are you actually being used? Could it even mean you are actually using the guy for sex? Or are you using each other?

 

I think the concept of "using someone for sex" really only refers to someone who knows that the other person may want a relationship, but has a one night stand with them anyway and ghosts them. If you're after hooking up and not a relationship, you're not going to be "used".