Author DenimRoad Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 I am sorry to say this, but if you had sex only few times in last four years among other issues your marriage seems done to me. So it seems talking to your wife about EA will work not for you. So this EA, can get physical very quickly. Anyway she is a married woman as well, you both have kids you shouldn't contribute to ruin her family. She may be getting distant because she already knows what she is doing is not correct. Don't be surprised if you too get more closer and feel more bonded when she becomes closer again. Never ever think of admitting your feelings to workwife. Either she will admit to her feelings and it will get physical and you will be the OM. Or she will say she has nothing for you, you will feel betrayed and played and you can't talk to her again. Thank you. I appreciate your comment on her being more distant. We spent less time together than usual, but still went out for lunch together a few times. Yes, she may know it’s wrong and is backing off, or seeing if I initiate interaction as much as we usually do to each other- if I’m a bother. Who knows? She could easily have something going on outside of work too. We had some great moments but I missed the usual interaction. Yes, I can’t admit my feelings to her. That would be disaster. I wish I could just get a read on what she thinks of us. Even if she just thinks I’m a good work friend, at least I’d know where it’s at and could manage my feelings better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenimRoad Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 I’m truly happy to share my experiences if they can help someone else. We definitely tried to keep it a platonic friendship, but the chemistry we had always led us back to feeling relaxed and joking, and talking about things that just led to dangerous places. We talked about our spouses and he said he hasn’t had sex with his wife in more than a year and they sleep in separate rooms. At the time I was frustrated w. My husband about several things and vented to him about it. That’s where it went to a dangerous place. And the comparisons began (what if I was with him instead of my husband?) and he was thinking, what if he ended up with me instead of his wife. Etc. except we should’ve been talking about our frustrations and needs with our spouses, not each other. We openly confessed our attraction to each other. Once Pandora’s box was opened, we couldn’t go back. We tried, but the attraction and chemistry and fantasizing made going back to square one impossible. I ended it, I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore bc it was too hard for me and he understood. I told him that I don’t feel about him in a platonic way and I felt guilty. He has respected my decision. So, we don’t talk now. I miss him but it was my choice and after I didn’t have him to focus on I started redirecting energy back to my husband. I told my husband most of it and he forgave it. He doesn’t want me to continue the “friendship” though- can’t blame him How did you or he open the topic of conversation on your feelings for each other? Was you or he surprised, or was it just a matter of saying it? What if he said he regards you as a fun friend? Do you think it would have been awkward and hard being around him? Link to post Share on other sites
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