Author KT2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Anika99, thanks for your reply. You’re words are more helpful than you can imagine. I need all the support I can get right now and everyone on this forum has incredible words of wisdom! MM has always initiated contact again so it wouldn’t be shocking if it does happen. I am hopeful that he has/will move on because I believe that will curb him from reaching back out. I’ve decided if and when he does no matter what I will not respond. He is most certainly an enemy to my future, my happiness and peace in my life and if I’m being honest I am probably just as bad for him. Us together equals a lot of baggage just due to the nature of how we began his wife will not want me around their children (I wouldn’t want to deal with that either) and just things like that make life harder than it has or needs to be. You are probably right, the wife likely did kick his ass out and he’s probably been trying to get back in her door since the day he left, would not shock me at all. I love the analogy about the tunnel and will have to remember that when times get tough! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KT2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Finding My Way, I think a lot of us here understand each other and can relate in ways no one else can, unfortunately. I’d say the last 12 months were very push/pull with myself and MM (because of me) I was tired of being in the situation and would get so upset (sometimes angry most of the time sobbing uncontrollably). I used to think I am better than this I should have more self respect etc but then I’d get pulled right back in by the “you are my one” “ give me just a little more time” “we will be married” and so many other things. I think part of my “addiction” was I felt I’d invested so much of myself into the relationship and I’d think what if I end it and didn’t give him enough time blah blah blah and then I’d think this is crazy thinking. If someone wants to be with me they will do what it takes to make it happen, period. There was a lot of internal dialogue for sure. Everyone (including you and myself) deserve all of someone and I do believe we will have it - IF we are available and open for it. I will be single for however long it takes my heart and my mind to heal from this so that I will be available in every way for a single man. You are right the separation is a gift, although a hard gift to accept right now probably the best gift we have received from our MM during our time with them. I hope you are doing better and sending good vibes your way. We can do this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Finding My Way, I think a lot of us here understand each other and can relate in ways no one else can, unfortunately. I’d say the last 12 months were very push/pull with myself and MM (because of me) I was tired of being in the situation and would get so upset (sometimes angry most of the time sobbing uncontrollably). I used to think I am better than this I should have more self respect etc but then I’d get pulled right back in by the “you are my one” “ give me just a little more time” “we will be married” and so many other things. I think part of my “addiction” was I felt I’d invested so much of myself into the relationship and I’d think what if I end it and didn’t give him enough time blah blah blah and then I’d think this is crazy thinking. If someone wants to be with me they will do what it takes to make it happen, period. There was a lot of internal dialogue for sure. A good way to break this addiction is to put reality to the test. So the happy ending to the story is one day you'll marry him. That sounds like a death sentence. What would life REALLY be like married to him? You'd spend all your time waiting for him to cheat on you with an AP. And he'd prove you right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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