I still care too much about my ex.

[anzep]

Hey guys, been a while since I joined LS due to my ex dumping me. It's been a while, next month it'll be one year apart.

 

It's been a rough year, but I managed to gain all the good lessons I could from this.

I've been with other girls, and had a brief relationship of 2 months with another girl, which I had to cut off because I realized that she was only a rebound, I couldn't be with someone if I'm not 100% into the relationship.

 

I still think of my ex after all this time, and after all that she did to me a part of me still wishes for her to come back.

 

She makes sure I know via friends and another whatsapp group we both are in (with friends in common).

She brags about where she's going on vacation (she's going 1 week off to a 7 days partying island,which is famous for easy hooking up), guys she finds attractive, she still acts like a teenager on an hormonal storm.

 

I don't know if I'm going crazy about this girl, am I finding meaning to things where there isn't one?

Problem is, I know what she was like, and how she acted like many times before: when she was angry with someone she often did things on purpose, not because she was evil, but because she had a temper and needed some time to cool off. And eventually I would make her reason a little and then she'd apologize. And I think she's doing all this things because she hates that I'm this type of guy not and not while I was with her ( I changed a lot, solved some issues and therefore started doing things that before I didn't like doing). Won't lie, some things I started doing only for her to be a better potential boyfriend, but eventually I began to like doing them.

 

 

 

I think I'm hoping that this is one of those times, where she needs someone to make her reason (and her so called female "friends" only like to party, and that fuels her).

 

 

I know she's acting immature on some points. But why the hell am I still hanging onto this girl with all the bad things/immature actions she's done?

 

 

I don't want her to become what she always criticized, she could be way better than a cheap slutty girl. Thing is, I think I would want her back only if she didn't slut around before realizing her mistake.

 

I suspected she left me due GIGS, and if coming back to me means having a bunch of other guys before makes me feel like a crappy second.

 

 

I'm a new person locked into an old love mindset, any suggestions on what you think and what I should do? Am I overthinking her actions?

[Ronin3993]

 

I think I'm hoping that this is one of those times, where she needs someone to make her reason (and her so called female "friends" only like to party, and that fuels her).

 

 

I know she's acting immature on some points. But why the hell am I still hanging onto this girl with all the bad things/immature actions she's done?

 

 

I don't want her to become what she always criticized, she could be way better than a cheap slutty girl. Thing is, I think I would want her back only if she didn't slut around before realizing her mistake.

 

I suspected she left me due GIGS, and if coming back to me means having a bunch of other guys before makes me feel like a crappy second.

 

 

I'm a new person locked into an old love mindset, any suggestions on what you think and what I should do? Am I overthinking her actions?

Honestly I think the question isn't whether you should be worried whether what she is doing is her being immature and trying to make you jealous, or if she has moved on. The real question is whether you have enough self worth to realize that you deserve happiness and not being hurt. If she has hurt you in the past and hasn't attempted to change her ways (you have said she acts the same) she will probably hurt you again. I say push forward and move on. Cut contact with her if you have to, but move on. It isn't your responsibility to make her a better person and if you try you'll probably just end up no better for it.

 

May I ask how old you are? Your and her age group would give a lot more insight into the situation and better tailor advice.

[anzep]

Honestly I think the question isn't whether you should be worried whether what she is doing is her being immature and trying to make you jealous, or if she has moved on. The real question is whether you have enough self worth to realize that you deserve happiness and not being hurt. If she has hurt you in the past and hasn't attempted to change her ways (you have said she acts the same) she will probably hurt you again. I say push forward and move on. Cut contact with her if you have to, but move on. It isn't your responsibility to make her a better person and if you try you'll probably just end up no better for it.

 

May I ask how old you are? Your and her age group would give a lot more insight into the situation and better tailor advice.

 

 

I feel so weird. I feel like I want to move on but after experience with other girls there wasn't a single one that could make me feel even remotely like she did. I know that I deserve better than someone behaving this way, but I think that I deep down I just wanted her to be better on some points, just like I worked on my issues I wanted her to work on hers, and maybe try again. I guess that's only whishful thinking tough.

 

 

I am turning 23 years old this month, and she is 20.

[stillafool]

If she is only 20 she is doing the right thing by getting out there and enjoying her youth. The reason she is acting like a teenager is because she was just a teenager last year. I would suggest you not look at her social media in order to move on with her. You need to get out there yourself and do fun things and meet new people. Don't expect her back.

[anzep]

If she is only 20 she is doing the right thing by getting out there and enjoying her youth. The reason she is acting like a teenager is because she was just a teenager last year. I would suggest you not look at her social media in order to move on with her. You need to get out there yourself and do fun things and meet new people. Don't expect her back.

I acknowledge our young age, I go out and I'm having lots of fun with some new friends I made after the BU happened. I'm enjoying each and every minute of my life and I know that if this breakup hadn't happened I wouldn't be the wonderful person I've become in this year of her absense, in which I improved myself in so many ways I didn't even think was possible. I'm just regretting not being like this while we were together.

[basil67]

She makes sure I know via friends and another whatsapp group we both are in (with friends in common).

She brags about where she's going on vacation (she's going 1 week off to a 7 days partying island,which is famous for easy hooking up), guys she finds attractive, she still acts like a teenager on an hormonal storm.

 

First sentence - are there words missing so I don't know what you think she wants you to know. But over all, if you're on a group discussion it's a mistake to think her posts are about you. She's excited about her holiday and talking to her friends about it. This is all. And so what if she acts like a teenager on a hormonal storm? Sounds like she's planning a lot of fun.

 

 

I don't want her to become what she always criticized, she could be way better than a cheap slutty girl. Thing is, I think I would want her back only if she didn't slut around before realizing her mistake.

 

She may have realised that slut shaming others is not a good look and that if a girl wants to have a bit of fun it's nobody else's business. I suggest you take a lead from her and back off on your own slut shaming.

 

I suspected she left me due GIGS, and if coming back to me means having a bunch of other guys before makes me feel like a crappy second.

 

I'm not seeing her trying to come back to you. Instead, I'm seeing her choosing to add some life experience and continue moving in.

 

It's time for you to move on too.

[preraph]

You need to stop looking at all her social media or her friends social media and block her and any of her close friends from your social media and your phone and texting and everything. You are just torturing yourself. You have to stop giving her a way to torture you and stop getting her any information about you or what you're doing so that will free you up to stop wondering is this about me and what does it mean, when it probably doesn't mean anything and is just spiteful or you're totally reading into it wishful thinking.

 

To move on you've got to make yourself stop all this interaction with her on electronics. the goal is to stop wondering or caring what she thinks about what you were doing and to convey that you don't care what she's doing so that you can move on. I'm assuming the situation is hopeless or that you at least know it wasn't going to work out because she acted badly. You can't change people. Love won't change people. If you compromise and give in on something that the person did that was unethical toward you, you are just training them but that's okay and they will only do it worse the next time and keep pushing to see how far they can go and how much they can disrespect you before you bail.

 

You're young and you have ways to have fun and move forward from this. Get out there and date and have fun. She might have made you feel better than anyone else but never forget that she has also made you feel worse than anyone else. that good feeling you got from her was before you knew her well enough to know she could make you feel this bad.

 

She isn't who you hoped she'd be. That's who you were in love with. Good luck.