cunnie Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 I am 22 and I am about to graduate college this fall. I am 5'4 and 120 lbs. I have never dated anyone or had a boyfriend. I am never asked out, approached, and I am almost never hit on by men. The last time I was hit on was 2 years ago by my uber driver who told me I am very beautiful/very attractive and that I would find someone when I told him I never had a boyfriend but since then, no one has hit on me. I have never even had a guy even ask for my number before. I don't go to bars or clubs (because I don't drink) and I have never tried online dating. I go out to places such as grocery stores, shopping, restaurants, coffee shops, etc. I also have done a few volunteer activities but I still haven't met a man who said he was interested in me. I just feel like a looser/failure if I can only attract men online and not offline and it makes me feel bad. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 I just feel like a looser/failure if I can only attract men online and not offline and it makes me feel bad. Why is that? Do you realize how many people meet online these days? Maybe not SO much in your young age group, but lots and lots of people meet this way. It's very normal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 I am 22 and I am about to graduate college this fall. I am 5'4 and 120 lbs. I have never dated anyone or had a boyfriend. I am never asked out, approached, and I am almost never hit on by men. The last time I was hit on was 2 years ago by my uber driver who told me I am very beautiful/very attractive and that I would find someone when I told him I never had a boyfriend but since then, no one has hit on me. I have never even had a guy even ask for my number before. I don't go to bars or clubs (because I don't drink) and I have never tried online dating. I go out to places such as grocery stores, shopping, restaurants, coffee shops, etc. I also have done a few volunteer activities but I still haven't met a man who said he was interested in me. I just feel like a looser/failure if I can only attract men online and not offline and it makes me feel bad. See bolded. I think you're cutting out two of the easiest ways to get asked out. I suggest you try online dating (write a good profile about your dating and relationship goals and recreational interests), 'fasten your seat belt', and report back. I suspect your new 'problem' will be having to cull through piles of 'interested' men to pick the ones who you'd be interested in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 Welcome to LS and try to steer more towards social activities. Since you're young and attractive, bend over a few fenders at a car show, ask some breathy questions and I trust your social dry-spell will conclude. That advice came from my exW after I took her to a car show. Sausages everywhere, with money 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 Why can't you order a "diet coke" at a bar?? I've played "designated driver" for friends on many occasions and had "diet coke" all night and nothing else. I had fun and didn't drink a drop of alcohol. Just my two cents... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 It's because you don't look at any man or guy You are shy and quite! You are like Hinata who loves Naruto He does not even know she exists, but everyone else knows she swoons when she sees him! ( please don't tell me what happens in their future if you have seen Naruto Shippuden, but so far he barely recognizes her as a friend because she is so shy and quite) So that's why nobody approaches you! If you look closely, most of the girls and guys who are in relationships are not that attractive or handsome anyway, but they have done it? How? Because they are not shy and they go for it! They put themselves out there they go to bars, clubs and do online dating. By the way, if you hate to do the aforementioned, I suggest you join as many meetup groups as possible...Where you can do something you like and also meet people. Also, if you start working, you might find someone? This is so early to despair. But sometimes you might be really beautiful but you just have terrible taste in clothes or hairstyle. Some girls have hidden beauty. so do try to watch youtube videos to learn some new makeup trends and fashion styles, just don't overdo it. As for grocery shops, I was approached there It's no fun, I would run because I think they have criminal intent or something 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 Oh, also, if you are out and about, feel amorous, look at men like you want to devour them, imagine doing that in your mind. It works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 Do you have any female friends at college? Talk to them. Emulate their behavior. You are probably not smiling at men & they think you aren't into them. Are there any cute guys in your classes? Can you ask them to study with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) I think your going to have to do group activities with Men/Women around and let things progress that way. The women are there so your not the sole women in the group. So Yoga/Pool league. Edited July 17, 2018 by Mysterio 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) I don't go to bars or clubs (because I don't drink) and I have never tried online dating. I go out to places such as grocery stores, shopping, restaurants, coffee shops, etc. I also have done a few volunteer activities but I still haven't met a man who said he was interested in me. I just feel like a looser/failure if I can only attract men online and not offline and it makes me feel bad. Bolded bit above - guys don't go and hit on women in these places unless they're creeps. It seems to me that you're not putting yourself in the kind of places where you're likely to meet interested guys. On that note though, I second what CautiouslyOptimistic said, and will say as a mid 20s guy that the vast majority of people in my decade age bracket use Tinder/Bumble etc to meet potential partners. Because it is actually that difficult for most people to meet in real life these days. Don't put yourself down as a "loser", you're actually in the majority. Outside of OLD, most people meet at bars/clubs/pubs* or through mutual friends, so if those avenues don't work you're already facing an uphill battle which a surprisingly large number of people face. *You don't have to drink alcohol to enjoy these places - just drink soft drinks (sodas) or find a place that does good mocktails. And has good music/atmosphere or whatever you like. Edited July 17, 2018 by snowboy91 clarity 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Sorry to report this one-post new member never returned so don't expect responses and perhaps share general comments on lack of interest. Thanks for the responses so far! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Most men these days aren't going up to women anymore unless maybe at a bar or a club. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 Welcome to LS and try to steer more towards social activities. Since you're young and attractive, bend over a few fenders at a car show, ask some breathy questions and I trust your social dry-spell will conclude. That advice came from my exW after I took her to a car show. Sausages everywhere, with money How come you can say "sausages" and I can't say "cucumber"? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 What do your women friends say to you about this? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 How come you can say "sausages" and I can't say "cucumber"? No idea, got the phrase 'sausage-fest' from my exW since she had three brothers I guess. BTW, she never had a problem with men being interested in her. Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Try online dating and see how that goes. In-person never worked for me (I'm 27 now), yet these guys online are really interested and not just in hookups. Most of my confidence came from online dating, actually. I used to feel like a loser when no one asked me out other than very old creepy guys in the subway... And then, bam! Online dating. It wouldn't hurt to try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Most men these days aren't going up to women anymore unless maybe at a bar or a club. no thanks to Mr. Weinstein 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kirsty91 Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 (edited) 120lbs so you've got a normal/slim body. Sign up to an online dating app or whatever. No matter how attractive or unattractive your face is, as long as you've got a decent body then you should be able to attract plenty of male attention. The problem with online dating it can take forever to weed out a load of headache things. Just put on a little black dress ensure you're showing legs and cleavage, do your hair nice possibly some makeup and take some sexy pics. Wise words from my mum: "men are very visual creatures" so the better figure you have and the more skin you show the more interest you'll get. Some people believe in covering up - allowing room for his imagination of what he'll get. Edited July 21, 2018 by Kirsty91 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 At 22 you are not a loser. Delete that word from your mind if you can. Hard to give advice, not enough details for me. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Most men these days aren't going up to women anymore unless maybe at a bar or a club. ..or when they are in front of you at a grocery checkout on a friday night, and the only thing she is buying is nail polish. ..or when her dog walks in front of you. No, everyday is full of oportunity's to talk to women on the streets. Its just learning how to make use of those moments which can be difficult but not impossible. Heck I will hit on a woman while she is in the middle of blowing her nose haha, I don't give a crap anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Heck I will hit on a woman while she is in the middle of blowing her nose haha, I don't give a crap anymore. haha that's funny SD Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 ..or when they are in front of you at a grocery checkout on a friday night, and the only thing she is buying is nail polish. ..or when her dog walks in front of you. No, everyday is full of oportunity's to talk to women on the streets. Its just learning how to make use of those moments which can be difficult but not impossible. Heck I will hit on a woman while she is in the middle of blowing her nose haha, I don't give a crap anymore. And that is how you end up being accused of harassment. Many people have cameras these days and you can end up being the next creep on social media just for saying good morning to a woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Maybe if you live in California or something. This sort of thing is very location dependent. If you find that sort of thing happening where you live, you should move. It doesn't matter where you live. All it takes is one woman. The majority of women will not go off on you for speaking to them but all it takes is one and somebody with a camera and you are the next viral creep on social media. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 It doesn't matter where you live. All it takes is one woman. The majority of women will not go off on you for speaking to them but all it takes is one and somebody with a camera and you are the next viral creep on social media. A video/video of a man talking to a woman is nothing. He's only going to look like a creep if he's holding her arm and she's looking like she doesn't want to be there. Link to post Share on other sites
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