Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 no...not about calling a guy. I am just hesitate if I should call a employer sponsored counselling. Supposed to be anonymous and confidential, but who really knows. It seems many employers use the same counselling company. I don't know...I didn't have a satisfactory experience calling the counselling hotline when I used to work for another company in the past. Especially I am stressed about a work situation.... I prefer to rant here if I may...what do you think? from my experience, I doubt that it will be helpful. seems people don't really understand me and very little sympathy there, if there is any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 just called and was asked all private info to setup a profile. I said I will leave it. is it realistic to expect they will keep my whining about work confidential?? sigh...guess I just have to deal with issues myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 I think I would research if there is a "doctor patient privilege" that will protect you from having anything discussed with this counselor disclosed. The fact that you used the word counselor has me a bit worried. If you had said doctor or psychotherapist, then I would think "privilege" would apply. I'm just not sure about a "counselor". Just my two cents, though. Rant here, what's on your mind?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 I guess if I have a partner or something then I can talk to him? but damn, how hard is it to find a guy who will listen to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 but damn, how hard is it to find a guy who will listen to you? I'm a guy... I'm listening. Plenty of guys on this forum, if you want a male perspective on something, just ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 I think I would research if there is a "doctor patient privilege" that will protect you from having anything discussed with this counselor disclosed. The fact that you used the word counselor has me a bit worried. If you had said doctor or psychotherapist, then I would think "privilege" would apply. I'm just not sure about a "counselor". Just my two cents, though. Rant here, what's on your mind?? oh, well here is the link, you can help me to decide. it is very big anyway. https://www.morneaushepell.com/ca-en/employee-and-family-assistance-programs Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 oh, well here is the link, you can help me to decide. it is very big anyway. https://www.morneaushepell.com/ca-en/employee-and-family-assistance-programs It appears to be a Canadian company. I'm in the US. I have no idea about Canadian Law and if "privilege" is the same in Canada as it is in the US. Sorry, I can't make an opinion or advise you on this. But you can rant about your day... to me!! If you want to hear about my day, I'll be glad to share. Fair warning, it was somewhat boring. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Generally how sincere people are towards each other in the work place? I am wondering if I am too naive or I think too much? Am I totally to blame for a situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 It appears to be a Canadian company. I'm in the US. I have no idea about Canadian Law and if "privilege" is the same in Canada as it is in the US. Sorry, I can't make an opinion or advise you on this. But you can rant about your day... to me!! If you want to hear about my day, I'll be glad to share. Fair warning, it was somewhat boring. Thanks for listening. I am too preoccupied with myself to listen to other people:( got to go back to some task. Good night:) Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Generally how sincere people are towards each other in the work place? In my experience, they are not sincere and will stab you in the back every chance they get. Quick story, it was my first accounting job. One of my co-workers had problems with his clutch and couldn't afford to take it to a mechanic. I took my tools over and spent a good portion of the weekend putting in a new clutch for him. While turning wrenches, I happen to mention something about work. Not Earth shattering, just a throw away comment. On Monday morning, he reported me to the supervisor. From that day forward, I've never trusted a co-worker and will not help any either. I am now retired and that philosophy stood me well over the years.. I didn't make friends with co-workers, I didn't socialize with them and I only discussed work related matters with my co-workers. Just my two cents... Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 In my experience, they are not sincere and will stab you in the back every chance they get. Quick story, it was my first accounting job. One of my co-workers had problems with his clutch and couldn't afford to take it to a mechanic. I took my tools over and spent a good portion of the weekend putting in a new clutch for him. While turning wrenches, I happen to mention something about work. Not Earth shattering, just a throw away comment. On Monday morning, he reported me to the supervisor. From that day forward, I've never trusted a co-worker and will not help any either. I am now retired and that philosophy stood me well over the years.. I didn't make friends with co-workers, I didn't socialize with them and I only discussed work related matters with my co-workers. Just my two cents... But have you become friends with any of them after you guys are no longer working in the same place? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 (edited) In my experience, they are not sincere and will stab you in the back every chance they get. Quick story, it was my first accounting job. One of my co-workers had problems with his clutch and couldn't afford to take it to a mechanic. I took my tools over and spent a good portion of the weekend putting in a new clutch for him. While turning wrenches, I happen to mention something about work. Not Earth shattering, just a throw away comment. On Monday morning, he reported me to the supervisor. From that day forward, I've never trusted a co-worker and will not help any either. I am now retired and that philosophy stood me well over the years.. I didn't make friends with co-workers, I didn't socialize with them and I only discussed work related matters with my co-workers. Just my two cents... uh? that's so unbelievable....I don't understand, why people have to treat each other this way? but, but, some times, they seems so nice? I think I maybe too naive. I have never stab anybody in the back. it's just so immoral. how can people live with themselves though? don't we have a spirit? what's the meaning of live if all we care about is what we have material wise? are we still able to appreciate the beauty of this world? because backstabbing is ugly. I am a person who has no motives. I don't make friend because I want something from them. on the other hand, I had this German girl visiting scholar, I drove her around now and then and hang out with another friend. After she went back, she didn't even reply another friend's msg. so I am know she had no love for us actually. It's just so unbelievable, she seems so nice. Edited July 13, 2018 by Springsummer Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 But have you become friends with any of them after you guys are no longer working in the same place? No... past jobs are in the past. I compartmentalize my work life away from my social life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 But have you become friends with any of them after you guys are no longer working in the same place? I will never be able to look at anyone who back stabbed me, at least in the past, now I maybe a bit diplomatic. but hell no. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 on the other hand, I had this German girl visiting scholar, I drove her around now and then and hang out with another friend. After she went back, she didn't even reply another friend's msg. so I am know she had no love for us actually. It's just so unbelievable, she seems so nice. She used you as a free taxi service, when she left; she no longer needed you. She wasn't invested in the friendship, she used you and threw you away when it no longer suited her needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 (edited) but she(at work one, not the German one in this case) seems so so nice to me...maybe I just think too much? maybe it's my fault? I don't really understand... Edited July 13, 2018 by Springsummer Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 but she(at work one, not the German one in this case) seems so so nice to me...maybe I just think too much? maybe it's my fault? I don't really understand... Make friends outside of work. Hobbies, sports you participate in, mutual interests, etc. Work is for earning a paycheck/money. People will "brown nose" up to the boss to endear themselves to that boss. If you get stepped on in the process, they don't care. Just my two cents... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Make friends outside of work. Hobbies, sports you participate in, mutual interests, etc. Work is for earning a paycheck/money. People will "brown nose" up to the boss to endear themselves to that boss. If you get stepped on in the process, they don't care. Just my two cents... I made the German friend outside of work, through social events... any wonder I no longer really interested in making any friend... Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 any wonder I no longer really interested in making any friend... I have very few close friends. But those friends are true friends and would be there in my time of need. Link to post Share on other sites
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