No_Go Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 LOL that's just demonstrating a pathetic attempt of people (women do it as much as men) to appear 'cool'. To me it's a turn off seeing this type of stuff anywhere (social media etc). It gives me no information about the person besides they like to take photos and spend wastefully. I like adventurous stuff to some extent (skydiving, wild animals) but I keep it to myself and few people that I talk one-on-one to. I think the reason lies in the age range. 28+ is this critical time when youthful looks are lost and people transition deeply into their 'middle age' times. Well, some can't take it and show off as wild adventurers All online dating sites are packed with these guys their profile texts are almost identical - they live and breath for traveling and add long lists of flag emojis. It's obligatory to mention how they love going on various adventures, which is emphasized in their diving/climbing/surfing/riding a wild animal photos. They all would like to travel full-time and are looking for a "fun girl" who'd join them on their adventures. I swear to God it's every second profile. Makes me think it's a massive craze and attempt at escaping real life and it's challenges. These guys are 28-40 (that's my age range on OLD) and most of them sound like crazy youngsters who just got unleashed. I've asked multiple times what they're looking for. Serious relationship is never an answer, just vague descriptions that indicate they aren't ready to commit anytime soon. Seems like settling down is a thing of the past. And I do like traveling, but not to this extent. I don't feel the need to try and escape my everyday life, I can find things that fullfill me. What are your thoughts on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 (edited) In my view, and I must stress that this is only MY view, people who go on and on about 'traveling' and 'adventure' are really people who do not have much going on in their personal lives... male and female Walter Mitty types... I know one woman who has been bitten by the wanderlust bug. She is in her late 30's, and goes home to an empty, quiet condo. She had a large group of friends, but they eventually began the next stage of their lives - marriage, family, etc. They mostly moved away, because of husbands jobs taking them to remote locals... she has remained single. She regularly goes on adventures with these old friends, but it is not escaping notice that she is to one who travels to where they are, and spends the money to have the 'adventure'... Not the other way around- I mean, with the kids needing braces, and having to pay for the various sports that children are involved with, the friends never have the extra cash to do things... So, she goes to them... no one is going to pay for her retirement including herself. Even her parents have told her to save her money for her old age but it hasn't sunk in... It's to the point where her mom and dad have told her that they are spending their money while they are still healthy enough to do so, and that whatever she gets after their death will only be what they haven't managed to spend... she's a looser, and doesn't seem too worried about it Edited July 16, 2018 by Poutrew Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Don't forget rich Isn't that the truth! Hell if I were rich I could do it now! Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 All online dating sites are packed with these guys their profile texts are almost identical - they live and breath for traveling and add long lists of flag emojis. It's obligatory to mention how they love going on various adventures, which is emphasized in their diving/climbing/surfing/riding a wild animal photos. They all would like to travel full-time and are looking for a "fun girl" who'd join them on their adventures. I swear to God it's every second profile. Makes me think it's a massive craze and attempt at escaping real life and it's challenges. These guys are 28-40 (that's my age range on OLD) and most of them sound like crazy youngsters who just got unleashed. I've asked multiple times what they're looking for. Serious relationship is never an answer, just vague descriptions that indicate they aren't ready to commit anytime soon. Seems like settling down is a thing of the past. And I do like traveling, but not to this extent. I don't feel the need to try and escape my everyday life, I can find things that fullfill me. What are your thoughts on this? It doesn't seem like you're into this kind of person, so I'd just bypass such profiles if I were you. My approach to online dating is that once I see certain phrases or themes on a profile that don't gel with what I'm looking for or are red flags for me, I just bypass them. Commitmentphobes come in all shapes and sizes. I don't necessarily think that adventurers are by default people not looking to settle down, they could also be looking for folks who want to live the same kind of lifestyle as them. Which goes back to the above: if it's not your speed or if in talking to them they are not looking for what you are, pass them by. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I might be guilty of this to some extent. The other day I asked a female friend to give some feedback on my Tinder profile (or maybe she asked to see mine, can’t remember) and she said that two pictures came across as a bit bragy and she suggested that I should add something more... ordinary. Like; chilling on the couch. Definitely worth considering. To me, however, it feels a bit redundant to state that I like food & wine, chilling and movies; who doesn’t? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 I might be guilty of this to some extent. The other day I asked a female friend to give some feedback on my Tinder profile (or maybe she asked to see mine, can’t remember) and she said that two pictures came across as a bit bragy and she suggested that I should add something more... ordinary. Like; chilling on the couch. Definitely worth considering. To me, however, it feels a bit redundant to state that I like food & wine, chilling and movies; who doesn’t? Who doesn't like traveling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 LOL that's just demonstrating a pathetic attempt of people (women do it as much as men) to appear 'cool'. To me it's a turn off seeing this type of stuff anywhere (social media etc). It gives me no information about the person besides they like to take photos and spend wastefully. I like adventurous stuff to some extent (skydiving, wild animals) but I keep it to myself and few people that I talk one-on-one to. I think the reason lies in the age range. 28+ is this critical time when youthful looks are lost and people transition deeply into their 'middle age' times. Well, some can't take it and show off as wild adventurers Yes exactly, it tells little about the person except that they have money, free time and a good camera. Also, the wild adventurers I talked to (when I still tried to give them a chance) sounded neither wild nor adventurous when we chatted 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 Another perfect example: guy, 31 years old, profile picture of him wearing skydiving equipment...naked (the manly parts are covered with a t-shirt tucked in between of his legs). Pic nr 2 him in some city, don't recognize which. Pic nr 3 group picture with friends in a beach, he's doing a hand stand. Pic nr 4 a portrait with some fancy sky bar in the background and 5 is of him buttoning his shirt in a hotel room. The profile text names some random interests and adds: "....and naked skydive. Because why not?" So quirky, so adventurous...... And I SWEAR TO GOD these type of profiles aren't just some rare example, there are so many of then! Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I feel like I have to keep tagging my posts with age and gender for context: 64 male. In my age range, 52 to 66 with flex on either end, 'we' are either empty-nesters or maybe still have some teens in the household. Many of the ladies want to travel and want a guy who they can travel with. But, for me, travel has the down sides of costing money and being away from home and family. So I have discovered that there are MANY day trips from where I live that are just as 'adventurous' as almost anywhere else in the world. At least to me it's just not worth putting in the extra distance. Add to that that beyond day trips there are drivable week-long vacations available (New York, Boston, Washington DC, Montreal, Quebec city, Niagara Falls, White Green Adirondack and Appalachian mountains, Cape Cod, Jersey shore, Lake George) and factor in the hassle of flying, I'll take my adventures in bite size pieces, thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Who doesn't like traveling? Most people simply take more pictures while traveling, therefore they are more likely to have okey pictures From traveling. And yes; guys will try to market themselves and, in a way, compete for the attention. You are coming of as pretty judgmental though. Active and healthy is a trend and therefore probably assumed to be the better marketing strategy. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 They'll sell any idiot off the street a ticket to practically anywhere on Earth....I don't know why people think this is some grand accomplishment or that it really proves anything about what that person's make up or character is..... Want adventure? How about building your own company from the ground up, or working 3 jobs to take care of a family and elders...Heck, just being a parent and all that entails, for me anyway, qualifies me as way more adventurous than a lot of those that haven't walked in those shoes.. I agree with some of the other posters in that it's a shallow and low effort attempt to woo the stupid or ignorant into believing someone is about something....when they really aren't.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 Most people simply take more pictures while traveling, therefore they are more likely to have okey pictures From traveling. And yes; guys will try to market themselves and, in a way, compete for the attention. You are coming of as pretty judgmental though. Active and healthy is a trend and therefore probably assumed to be the better marketing strategy. But I'm not talking about taking travel pictures. I'm talking about these guys making out to be some crazy adventurers living a superior life Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 They'll sell any idiot off the street a ticket to practically anywhere on Earth....I don't know why people think this is some grand accomplishment or that it really proves anything about what that person's make up or character is..... Want adventure? How about building your own company from the ground up, or working 3 jobs to take care of a family and elders...Heck, just being a parent and all that entails, for me anyway, qualifies me as way more adventurous than a lot of those that haven't walked in those shoes.. I agree with some of the other posters in that it's a shallow and low effort attempt to woo the stupid or ignorant into believing someone is about something....when they really aren't.. TFY That isn't what modern day 'adventurers' are looking for, TFY. Heck, while you are putting yourself in the grave pulling 60 hour work weeks to ensure your family are getting their needs met, all wifey is doing is banging the gardener or unemployed bum that lives next door and then blaming you for not showing her enough attention when she gets caught in the act... Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 But I'm not talking about taking travel pictures. I'm talking about these guys making out to be some crazy adventurers living a superior life The examples you have where of people telling you about their hobbies. You are the one attaching values to these hobbies as superior. From the individuals standpoint it would be a bit strange to not consider ones hobbies as superior- hence; that’s why we have them. It’s also logical to assume that people will be most likely to tell about the hobbies they assume will be considered by others as coolest and has the least amount of prejudice associated with it. Should I tell people that I like chess or skydiving? Or both? At the end of the day, the purpose of the profile is Just to find someone to start a conversation with. And that’s much easier when we approach OLD with more of an open mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 In my view, and I must stress that this is only MY view, people who go on and on about 'traveling' and 'adventure' are really people who do not have much going on in their personal lives... male and female Walter Mitty types... I know one woman who has been bitten by the wanderlust bug. She is in her late 30's, and goes home to an empty, quiet condo. She had a large group of friends, but they eventually began the next stage of their lives - marriage, family, etc. They mostly moved away, because of husbands jobs taking them to remote locals... she has remained single. She regularly goes on adventures with these old friends, but it is not escaping notice that she is to one who travels to where they are, and spends the money to have the 'adventure'... Not the other way around- I mean, with the kids needing braces, and having to pay for the various sports that children are involved with, the friends never have the extra cash to do things... So, she goes to them... no one is going to pay for her retirement including herself. Even her parents have told her to save her money for her old age but it hasn't sunk in... To be honest, many of the older people I've talked to have said that they wish they'd done more of the things they really wanted to do when they were younger and healthier, instead of saving up all their money and doing nothing but work. Yes, now they are retired with a big retirement fund, but their health has caught up with them and they can't do many of the things they wanted to do, even though they have the money for it. I'd never condone being financially irresponsible and relying on others or putting oneself into debt, but there is a balance to be had. There is little purpose in spending all your young and healthy years doing nothing but working and saving - I mean, what's the point of sitting around on 10 million dollars' worth of investments when you're diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer a year after retirement? Granted, "doing what you want" doesn't necessarily mean "travel" for everyone... but for some people, it does. I find it really interesting that people feel entitled to judge others negatively for doing what makes them happy, even though you're not paying for any of it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 The examples you have where of people telling you about their hobbies. You are the one attaching values to these hobbies as superior. From the individuals standpoint it would be a bit strange to not consider ones hobbies as superior- hence; that’s why we have them. It’s also logical to assume that people will be most likely to tell about the hobbies they assume will be considered by others as coolest and has the least amount of prejudice associated with it. Should I tell people that I like chess or skydiving? Or both? At the end of the day, the purpose of the profile is Just to find someone to start a conversation with. And that’s much easier when we approach OLD with more of an open mind. I guess it's hard to understand without knowing the mentality here where I am. You are still not getting my point Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I guess it's hard to understand without knowing the mentality here where I am. You are still not getting my point No, I don’t get the point of this thread if you aren’t willing to, or interested, in seeing other point of views. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I'd never condone being financially irresponsible and relying on others or putting oneself into debt, but there is a balance to be had. There is little purpose in spending all your young and healthy years doing nothing but working and saving - I mean, what's the point of sitting around on 10 million dollars' worth of investments when you're diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer a year after retirement? . I don't disagree, but really when you think about it, working hardest when you are young, just makes the most sense really... You don't want to be 50 years old with little savings, tired and health issues creeping, and facing the prospects of having to work hard for the rest of your life..Or a lot of these folks that effed around well into their 30's and now want to buy a house and settle down, only to realize they can't afford a down payment on a house or really can't afford to even raise children properly... Balance, yes, but if you don't make the best of your peak earning/working years(25-45), then you may find it quite miserable later in life....when you won't have a choice like you did when you were younger.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Adventurers tend to fall more into the 'work to live' category. The machine requires our slavery but some mesh that servitude into pursuits that include experiencing the wider world. When one comes to die, what does one wish for? Time I was thinking about that this morning while looking at a video I shot of a lady and her dog frolicking in the grass at their seasonal site in the High Sierras where I had the pleasure of camping with them over the holiday. Sure I could have stayed home and pounded out some more Franklins in the shop but good times with good friends was time well spent. Suffering a high altitude hike to enjoy a pristine alpine lake, the jury is still out on that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) I don't disagree, but really when you think about it, working hardest when you are young, just makes the most sense really... You don't want to be 50 years old with little savings, tired and health issues creeping, and facing the prospects of having to work hard for the rest of your life..Or a lot of these folks that effed around well into their 30's and now want to buy a house and settle down, only to realize they can't afford a down payment on a house or really can't afford to even raise children properly... Balance, yes, but if you don't make the best of your peak earning/working years(25-45), then you may find it quite miserable later in life....when you won't have a choice like you did when you were younger.. TFY I agree, there needs to be a balance between saving and spending, and working hard when young is generally advisable. The poster I quoted seems to think that spending ANYTHING on travel instead of putting it towards retirement is a terrible idea, though. I think otherwise. The SO and I love to travel - we can't do the full-time travel thing because of the nature of our jobs, but we travel when we can. We have the most wonderful memories that nothing can take away from us, and have learned so much about the world and other cultures in the process. We also have a nest egg that we won't touch, and a decent amount of savings besides. I don't think it's impossible to have both, especially if you have good jobs and/or are willing to travel cheap. Edited July 17, 2018 by Elswyth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) I LOVE to travel. Nothing to do with showing off (I actually didn't realize that it even counts as "accomplishment" ). If you are single, no kids and have a reasonably good job, you should have quite a bit of disposable income. At least around where I live. Edited July 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorenza Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) I LOVE to travel. Nothing to do with showing off (I actually didn't realize that it even counts as "accomplishment" ). If you are single, no kids and have a reasonably good job, you should have quite a bit of disposable income. At least around where I live. It's not me that turns it all into a competition, neither do I tell those people to not travel. The way their lifestyle is portrayed on the online dating sites reeks of showing off - displaying the content while there's not much there. It gives out a shallow vibe. I've lost the count of how many profiles had the word "adventurer" in it, or the number of countries they've been to. How hard it is to see that it's all about who's the coolest? I've traveled a fair deal and I have a trip booked in January 2019, so it's not like I sit at home and plan to make babies. But I'm not trying to create an image of some cool girl who's living da life on social medias and online dating sites, cause that's just pathetic. Edited July 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) It's not me that turns it all into a competition, neither do I tell those people to not travel. The way their lifestyle is portrayed on the online dating sites reeks of showing off - displaying the content while there's not much there. It gives out a shallow vibe. I've lost the count of how many profiles had the word "adventurer" in it, or the number of countries they've been to. How hard it is to see that it's all about who's the coolest? I've traveled a fair deal and I have a trip booked in January 2019, so it's not like I sit at home and plan to make babies. But I'm not trying to create an image of some cool girl who's living da life on social medias and online dating sites, cause that's just pathetic. I quite agree. Also, I am not averse to spending some hard earned scratch on a vacay during the earning years - everything in perspective. Am I being too harsh on wanderlusters when I know they wont have a pot to pee in when they are in their 50's - 60's and they start getting sick? Nope, just being realistic. Am I 'hating' when I realize now that they will be what the majority of my tax dollars will be spent on tomorrow? I wonder how difficult the adjustment will be for these folks to go from the life of adventurer to that of a Wal Mart greeter... Edited July 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 I quite agree. Also, I am not averse to spending some hard earned scratch on a vacay during the earning years - everything in perspective. Am I being too harsh on wanderlusters when I know they wont have a pot to pee in when they are in their 50's - 60's and they start getting sick? Nope, just being realistic. Am I 'hating' when I realize now that they will be what the majority of my tax dollars will be spent on tomorrow? I wonder how difficult the adjustment will be for these folks to go from the life of adventurer to that of a Wal Mart greeter... Uh, FTR, the people I know who do full-time travel are saving quite a bit more than the average corporate worker. A friend of mine works remotely for a tech company in San Francisco... she usually bases herself in countries with a ridiculously low cost of living (e.g. much of Eastern Europe or Asia). It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she's most likely putting away a LOT more than most people. Look, I get it, you don't like "wanderlusters". That's your prerogative. But I really doubt your tax dollars are any more likely to be going to them, than they are to be going to people who aren't traveling but are having plenty of babies that they can't afford. So stop using that as an excuse for the negative judgement. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 Uh, FTR, the people I know who do full-time travel are saving quite a bit more than the average corporate worker. A friend of mine works remotely for a tech company in San Francisco... she usually bases herself in countries with a ridiculously low cost of living (e.g. much of Eastern Europe or Asia). It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she's most likely putting away a LOT more than most people. Look, I get it, you don't like "wanderlusters". That's your prerogative. But I really doubt your tax dollars are any more likely to be going to them, than they are to be going to people who aren't traveling but are having plenty of babies that they can't afford. So stop using that as an excuse for the negative judgement. Oh snap! Elswyth just took away my reason for living Unless I decide to focus my ire on the over-breeding poor... actually Johnathan Swift came up with a unique solution to that problem way back in 1729...:o Link to post Share on other sites
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