My GF’s ex texting her for a year. GF never mentions the relationship

[JVort]

I’m new here. So My Gf’s ex has been texting her for over a year. He asks her if he can come over . He asks if she misses him. He asks her to come over his house. It’s clearly inappropriate. She usually doesn’t respond but sometimes she gives him a wise answer. She has also spoken to him about his work and worse yet she told him that her daughter missed him. This only encourages amd inspiries him obviously and that’s why he continues to text. the problem is that she has never told him she was in a relationship, nor set any boundaries. This hurt me Bc it seemed like she was doing nothing, denying us and letting this happen. It seemed dishonest like she was leaving a door open. Am I crazy? Help.

[Poutrew]

You are not crazy. There is a reason why your girlfriend is not telling him about you. You said it yourself: "It seemed dishonest like she was leaving a door open." Yes, exactly. How do you know about the texting? Did she tell you? If so, why not just ask her...you could then tell her you consider it an inappropriate conversation and that she is disrespecting you by doing so. My guess is that she will minimize it and say, more or less 'we're just friends...' or accuse you of being 'controlling' or 'insecure' because it seems from where I am sitting that you like her more than she likes you...

[guest569]

You're right, this doesn't seem appropriate. While she doesn't seem to be engaging much, she isn't telling him to back off.

 

May I ask, how do you know about the texting? Have you seen all of the texts? Does she share them with you and look at them in front of you?

[d0nnivain]

What is the EX's relationship to the daughter? If he's daddy, that door has to stay open for the child's sake

 

Since she's not really encouraging him, it's not as bad as if she was meeting him etc. Do ask her to set better boundaries & to at least tell him that she's in a new relationship.

 

Many women struggle with being direct because they were socialized not to rock the boat or hurt somebody's feelings.

 

However, if you really think she's playing games & keeping her options open with her, just end things because the trust is gone.

[JVort]

Ex is not Baby dad, just an ex

[Fluffkitteh]

She is DEFINITELY leaving the door open. I'd let the ex have her..you can do better!

[smackie9]

Why have you not addressed this with her when you found out?

 

 

Just me but, if you don't have trust, you shouldn't be in a relaitonship. Snooping and monitoring your SO's activity is wrong.

[Jamess1]

Typical female behavior, he is an 'orbiter' a guy she knows wants to f her, she never really rejects him,keeps him interested enough to make him stay, could be for validation or plan B, she will sleep with him if you ever break up, or separate, when her self-esteem is very low. The bad part is that your attention, validation should be enough for her, so she isn't that into you, you are a 'beta' boyfriend, the guy she just dates while she is waiting to find her 'real deal' : then she will dump you for that guy, but it won't be her ex...

 

The very fact that you allow her to continue chatting up with her ex while you complain here is proof enough to her subconscious that you are not the man for her, if you were you would have called her bull and demanded her to stop disrespecting you and that if she doesn't stop chatting to her ex the relationship is done...

 

The fact that you couldn't do that is the reason she is loosing attraction for you, you don't want to risk a break up so you keep silent and get bothered inside, and yet say nothing...

 

Let me give you an extreme example, why do bad boys keep girls attracted to them ? She cries, complains but yet never leaves the bad boy ... she calls him all kinds of names, swears she is done with him..but the next week she is fuucjing his brains out...while guys like you tell her how she deserves better...lol

 

I am not saying be a bad boy, it is the authenticity of the bad boy's reactions to her that keeps her attracted, when he is angry with something she did, he just says it at that moment...he doesn't filter his reactions, he doesn't try to be civilized, reasonable or fair, e.g 'You need to stop talking to that dude, you pissing me off'...She : 'He is just my ex, and we are friends'...him : 'fck it, he wana fck you and you know it, I am not a fool, don't play with me, I aint gona share my girl with no man, if you still want your ex go fck him, I'm done with your silly games..I am out'...

 

"It's not all about being a good man, it's about being good at being a man"

 

You have no idea how easy it is to attract women and keep them....but you are generation of men raised by women...you just don't get it.

[YeahUseeme]

Hey T can you answer me a quick question and I might could help ya

 

When yur girlfriend be textin with that other man, do it make you want her more thinkin that she might be lustin after some other fool?

[lostmyway82]

Dude she's been f king him for the past one year. A guy would not continue to text his ex for a year if he isn't getting something. And every guy likes free pizza. Why do you think he asking for second serving.

 

When she doesn't respond is when she went over to f him.

 

You are just another chump to her, that's why she doesn't even bother to delete the text. If she was afraid you would find out don't you think she would have deleted all those text ?

 

Do you know what can happen in a year ?

 

She has excess baggage, treats you like a chump, is her ex personal $lut in bed. Do what you need to her and dump her already, find someone better.

Edited July 29, 2018 by lostmyway82