Back at LDR and need to vent a little

[awesomeblondie]

Hi everyone,

 

This is my first time posting, but I really need to vent a little.

 

Backstory:

 

My husband and I have been together since we were 16 years old, got married at 19. Somehow our relationship was always long distance. We met in high school in California, and a few months after we started dating he moved with his family to a Nevada. We were able to stay together and after he turned 18 he moved back to Cali with me, but also joined the military. Just a few months after we got married, he was deployed. We dealt with changes after he came back, and of course more physical distance due to trainings and stuff. There were ups and downs, but we pulled through. Then after his contract ended, he was back with me full-time. Weird thing though - we lived in a "garage turned into an apartment" in my parents back yard so we always had a bunch of people around us. Eventually I graduated with my BA and we moved to upstate New York so I could go to get a PhD.

 

Now fast forward to today...

 

We have been together for almost 13 years now. We have been living as not long distance, and just me and him in NY for a year now. I was so nervous for the change going from a constant LDR to just us, but it worked amazingly, so much better than I had expected!

 

BUT he recently signed a new military contract and is stationed a few states over. He has my absolute full support in this, and I'm am so happy for him since he's been looking forward to it for so long! We are both very ambitious and the reason we fit so well is because we support each others' career ambitions. The reason I couldn't go with him is that I'm still in grad school and have another 4 years.

 

So we knew the long distance thing was coming. I thought I was prepared for it since our relationship has endured it for so long. But now that it's here, I forgot how hard it is. I feel like I'm having flashbacks to when I was "freshly in love at 16" or "a newlywed at 19." I feel so silly at how much I miss him and can't stop thinking about him, but at the same time I can't help it. We have excellent communication and he's made it clear that he feels exactly the same. I'm not worried about our relationship since we're in a great place. I'm just bummed at how much LDRs suck, especially since we were doing so well.

 

Bottom line:

 

I don't think I'm looking for advice. I just really needed to vent. My friends don't understand at all. They just always fixate on the whole military wife thing. But I figured people in this group will get it better than anyone.

 

Thanks for listening!

[d0nnivain]

Distance is tough no matter the reason. Military distance is a little tougher if your partner is in danger. If he's a few states away & not presently deployed, that downplays some of the worry.

 

Use technology to your advantage. Make plans to see each other as often as possible. Call, write, use snail mail (this is especially important because it's tangible) & Skype. Focus on your graduation so you know when you will be together again.

[awesomeblondie]

Thanks! We definitely take advantage of technology!

[shydad]

I feel so silly at how much I miss him and can't stop thinking about him, but at the same time I can't help it.

I loved reading this. (Gave me a warm fuzzy feeling!) You appear to be totally in love with your husband. That he is away so much must be excruciating. I bet your time together is amazing, though.

[Els]

Gosh, LDRs really do suck! Kudos to both of you for making it thus far.

 

 

Personally, I hated the long distance component so much that we both make sacrifices to ensure that we don't have to do it again. It just isn't worth the extra money, for us.