Was I wrong to say this?

[dogloverof2]

Pretty soon, a few friends are I are going on a trip together. One of the friends likes to have their "favorite smoke". I asked the friend to not take it on the trip because I didn't feel comfortable about it. They got offended and said that they might not go now because they "need it everyday". I didn't know this about them. all I ever knew was that it was occasional.. Was I wrong to ask this or should the friend been more considerate of me and others on the trip, and been cooperative? I did apologize to the person for making them upset. They would not smoke around the others but its just the fact of it being there, I think for me. And by the way, I am providing the trip as a gift..

 

Thoughts?

[d0nnivain]

You were absolutely right to ask. If the smoke is illegal, your friend was wrong to set you up for a possible constructive possession charge. (It's a legal concept that says if drugs are in a car, a house or motel room, they are deemed to belong to everybody) If the smoke is legal but you don't like it, now that you know there will be smoke it's up to you to bow out.

 

Similarly if you were bringing your dogs but somebody else didn't like dogs, they could ask that the dogs not come.

[dogloverof2]

You were absolutely right to ask. If the smoke is illegal, your friend was wrong to set you up for a possible constructive possession charge. (It's a legal concept that says if drugs are in a car, a house or motel room, they are deemed to belong to everybody) If the smoke is legal but you don't like it, now that you know there will be smoke it's up to you to bow out.

 

Similarly if you were bringing your dogs but somebody else didn't like dogs, they could ask that the dogs not come.

 

My husband said I should have not even brought it up. What is the difference of the smoke to my friend or the coffee I drink. We both have our vices.

[Normm]

If it's illegal drugs then you have the absolute right to complain. If he got caught with it he'd probably be the first to say "It's not mine".

 

 

Your husband should be standing by you, not against you.

 

 

Also it's rather troubling that the friend "needs it everyday". Look up "drug addict". You really want a friend like that?

[Veronica73]

I think it’s okay to say it, if it is illegal where you are. Personally, I wouldn’t have said it.... if it’s weed. People smoke weed all over the place all the time, and hardly ever get in trouble for small amounts. Since I’m a white, normal-looking, law-abiding citizen the chances of me getting in trouble for somebody I am with having it is slim to none. Soon it will be legal most everywhere, anyway probably. That said, I don’t think the fact that you are providing the trip should factor in. A gift is a gift and shouldn’t have strings attached.

[OatsAndHall]

If you're in a state (or crossing states) where it's illegal, then you had every right to ask them not to bring it along. One misdemeanor possession charge could derail future career plans. I'd either have my teaching license suspended or get stuck with a public letter of reprimand if I someone around me got popped.

 

 

 

If it's legal in the state you're in then I probably would have asked that they not smoke in your vicinity. It is their legal right to possess it but you have the personal right to ask them to keep it away from you. I have friends down in Colorado and I ask them to tone down the toking while if I'm hanging out with them.

[preraph]

Listen, don't let them guilt you like that. Back when I was a hippie, even then I didn't like anyone carrying in my car. It's not fair to get busted for someone else's stuff. If they're such stoners that they have to smoke constantly, you're better off without them anyway, and they don't value your friendship if they'd do that. You certainly can't take their word if they say "OK, I won't," because they'll just sneak it on you.

[Happy Lemming]

My husband said I should have not even brought it up. What is the difference of the smoke to my friend or the coffee I drink. We both have our vices.

 

If "Johnny Law" finds you with a cup of coffee, no problem.

 

If he "pops" you for an illegal substance, you'll need to defend yourself and possibly have to make bail. It depends on the State and local jurisdiction. Defense attorneys & bail bondsmen aren't cheap and if the authorities want to make an example of you, who knows how much you'll have to dip into your savings. This could put a dent in your retirement plans.

 

Yea, that $2-$5 cup of coffee is looking a whole lot different...

 

In my opinion, tell the "friend" to leave the illegal substance at home or stay there with it.

[d0nnivain]

And by the way, I am providing the trip as a gift..

 

Thoughts?

 

The Golden Rule applies: she who has the gold makes the rules. If your rule is no smokes, then that is the rule.

[O'Malley]

If you're paying the brunt of expenses for the trip, you have every right to make your discomfort about drug use clear. People aren't being arrested or paying fines for drinking coffee.

 

Depending on your destination and the laws regarding the drug in question, there are valid concerns about traveling with people who chronically need to get their smoke on, especially since someone might attempt to sneak in their own stuff.

[dogloverof2]

I appreciate what all of you have said. I told this person that my goal is to gift everyone a great vacation. Do I think they will take the smoke with them? Yes I do. Right now that is my assumption. Time will of course tell..