Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 It looks like he is just waiting for an opportunity to jump ship because he puts her way higher than you in his priorities list. If she responds to his attention now that her private life is a bit settled, he will most likely take the opportunity since that's what he wanted for so long now. The forbidden fruit. :/ Looks that way and honestly thought i was overthinking until i read the comments .. kind of wished i would’ve waited to see if he would’ve mentioned it Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Looks that way and honestly thought i was overthinking until i read the comments .. kind of wished i would’ve waited to see if he would’ve mentioned it I think he would have kept quiet, but regardless of the "what if's?", the most important part now is what he'll do next. If he doesn't bring you with him, is this something that will bother you? (it should, but it's up to you, really) Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Did he even tell you that he ran into her or did he keep that from you too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Did he even tell you that he ran into her or did he keep that from you too? Well yes he did but his story was “ well i saw her in the store today she started talking about things going on in her life, i asked her how she was doing and how was work... and things like that and she told me she had took off because she was moving and then he goes on to say she mentioned she was having a house warming next month because she wasn’t able to afford a lot of things she needed that’s when he told me he asked her when was it and what day /time etc.. From his story he invited himself to her party Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Well yes he did but his story was “ well i saw her in the store today she started talking about things going on in her life, i asked her how she was doing and how was work... and things like that and she told me she had took off because she was moving and then he goes on to say she mentioned she was having a house warming next month because she wasn’t able to afford a lot of things she needed that’s when he told me he asked her when was it and what day /time etc.. From his story he invited himself to her party Which would be even worse, in my opinion. He has no reason to attend this party at all. They aren't good friends and he knows how you feel about her. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Just me, but if I were in a relationship with someone, I would not even go to the party. But it doesn't should like he considers how his actions might make you feel at all. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Well yes he did but his story was “ well i saw her in the store today she started talking about things going on in her life, i asked her how she was doing and how was work... and things like that and she told me she had took off because she was moving and then he goes on to say she mentioned she was having a house warming next month because she wasn’t able to afford a lot of things she needed that’s when he told me he asked her when was it and what day /time etc.. From his story he invited himself to her party Then he did mention the party to you. I thought he was keeping it from you and you found out about him going through someone else. If he brought up seeing her and told you about the party I wouldn't worry about it. I think you're reading too much into it. Bottom line is he's a grown man and whatever choices he makes are his own. That's where trust comes into play. Do you trust him? And if you do then you have to ease up a bit. Since you think he's invited himself you should follow his lead and invite yourself to it as well. Bring a nice vanilla candle or a bottle of wine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Well yes he did but his story was “ well i saw her in the store today she started talking about things going on in her life, i asked her how she was doing and how was work... and things like that and she told me she had took off because she was moving and then he goes on to say she mentioned she was having a house warming next month because she wasn’t able to afford a lot of things she needed that’s when he told me he asked her when was it and what day /time etc.. From his story he invited himself to her party You said: I work with one of her friends she was talking about it the other day and she told me my boyfriend .... So how did you learn about it first? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Then he did mention the party to you. I thought he was keeping it from you and you found out about him going through someone else. If he brought up seeing her and told you about the party I wouldn't worry about it. I think you're reading too much into it. Bottom line is he's a grown man and whatever choices he makes are his own. That's where trust comes into play. Do you trust him? And if you do then you have to ease up a bit. Since you think he's invited himself you should follow his lead and invite yourself to it as well. Bring a nice vanilla candle or a bottle of wine. No he did not bring this party up to me at all. Someone else told me he was invited and that he was going.. that’s when i said something to him and he admitted he ran into her she said something about a housewarming and he asked her when was it He never told me he saw her/talked to her/she invited him to her party her friend that i work with asked me was i going with him that’s how i found out he was invited Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 You said: I work with one of her friends she was talking about it the other day and she told me my boyfriend .... So how did you learn about it first? Her friend told me first and two days later i asked him about it because at first i tried to brush it off then i started to think “well when is he going to y’all me since it’s next month” Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 No he did not bring this party up to me at all. Someone else told me he was invited and that he was going.. that’s when i said something to him and he admitted he ran into her she said something about a housewarming and he asked her when was it He never told me he saw her/talked to her/she invited him to her party her friend that i work with asked me was i going with him that’s how i found out he was invited Ok got ya! When is that house warming party? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Her friend told me first not my boyfriend my boyfriend told me after i mentioned it ... he told me he ran into her after i already had known Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Ok got ya! When is that house warming party? Next month(couple of weeks) Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 If it had been any other ex turned friend from a distant past I would be more flexible but this is the very ex he kept on having an emotional affair with while dating you. An emotional affair you caught and asked him to stop. Him going to that house warming is a pretty big lack of respect toward you and your relationship. You've only had 4 months dating. You don't have a great deal invested in this. Four moths is a drop in the ocean. If he goes to that house warming party the following day I'd tell him he's turning out not being the type of man I was looking for and I am moving on to find someone who's more serious. If you let that one slide and keep dating him what kind of message you think he's getting from you? . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Her friend told me first not my boyfriend my boyfriend told me after i mentioned it ... he told me he ran into her after i already had known Oh okay. Scratch everything I said then. He's given you reason to doubt this whole thing and is causing you to be suspicious. Not cool. I'd still invite myself to the party anyway and see how he reacts to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 This relationship is getting too complicated... I'd dump him. If you don't you can expect this to keep popping up in the future. He will never dump her, and if she ever gives him the go ahead, he will take the chance and bang her... maybe you will find out about it, or maybe you wont. Or, maybe the girl who told you about her party will tell you she just gave birth to a baby that looks suspiciously like your guy... is that how you want to live your life? Thought so. Just dump him already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 24, 2018 Author Share Posted July 24, 2018 Don’t you repliers think their will be others there without their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend i highly doubt he’s be the only one there without their significant other ... not sugarcoating this but, i could have possibly jumped the gun before he told me and I’m sure he won’t be the only one there partnerless Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 Perhaps there will be others at the party without their SOs. I doubt it; part of the nesting thing / having a house warming is inviting couples, unless it's a "singles" party to scope out the new neighbors. The make up of the guest list is not the issue. The issue has always been the nature of the interactions between your BF & this woman. If he was invited without you or he decided not to tell you about it, the whole set up smells like an excuse for them to sniff around each other & possibly hook up. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Don’t you repliers think their will be others there without their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend i highly doubt he’s be the only one there without their significant other ... not sugarcoating this but, i could have possibly jumped the gun before he told me and I’m sure he won’t be the only one there partnerless How is that relevant? The point is that he liked this girl a lot, was communicating inappropriately with her while dating you, invited himself to this party, and neglected to even tell you about it when he obviously knew you wouldn't love the idea. Whether or not others come without their partners doesn't matter if they don't have the same history with her that your boyfriend does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Don’t you repliers think their will be others there without their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend i highly doubt he’s be the only one there without their significant other It depends upon the kind of friends she's got---do all of her friends have partners? You don't know one way or the other, so don't base another excuse on this cognitive dissonance. ... not sugarcoating this but, i could have possibly jumped the gun before he told me and I’m sure he won’t be the only one there partnerless No, you didn't jump any gun. Your boyfriend accepted an invite from an ex he's still emotionally tied to and he didn't tell you about it and if it wasn't for the chick telling you what was up, to this day, you'd still be in the dark. He'd have probably told you he was going out for a guys night out (a.k.a. lied) or some other lie to not bring you. Oh and they did so much drinking that he didn't want to drive home drunk, so he crashed at his boys' place. See how that could have gone had she not alerted you? So why would he not want to bring you? Because he doesn't want you witnessing him ingratiating himself back into her life (and bed) at her party. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Has he asked you to go to the HW party yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Don’t you repliers think their will be others there without their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend i highly doubt he’s be the only one there without their significant other ... not sugarcoating this but, i could have possibly jumped the gun before he told me and I’m sure he won’t be the only one there partnerless What would the benefit be for him to go without you? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 You know what, let him go. If he isn't acting sketchy, and isn't talking very much with her, then I don't really see a big deal. I don't think it's just about her, but about the social aspect...probably wants to be a apart of this social group. And I understand not wanting to bring a GF along, he wants to freely socialize without having to worry about you. I myself go to plenty social events without my husband because it's not his cup of tea, and has no interest in the people that are attending...and I'm OK with that. My husband will do the same thing. There are places and people I don't really care to be a part of either. I say ya have to give some slack on the leash sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 How is that relevant? The point is that he liked this girl a lot, was communicating inappropriately with her while dating you, invited himself to this party, and neglected to even tell you about it when he obviously knew you wouldn't love the idea. Whether or not others come without their partners doesn't matter if they don't have the same history with her that your boyfriend does. Because someone stated he was trying to appear “single” but yeah i understand what you’re saying , they have history unlike others that might attend Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Don’t you repliers think their will be others there without their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend i highly doubt he’s be the only one there without their significant other ... not sugarcoating this but, i could have possibly jumped the gun before he told me and I’m sure he won’t be the only one there partnerlessIt's your life and he's your sketchy boyfriend so you can do whatever you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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