hotpotato Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Do people really get more interest from others when they are already dating or unavailable in some way? Has this happened to you? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Do people really get more interest from others when they are already dating or unavailable in some way? Has this happened to you? it's totally true hotpotatoe. whenever i'm dating someone the women come out of the woodwork, especially her single friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I chalk it up to the fact that when a man is getting some regular sex he walks and talks with more confidence, therefore attracting more women 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Sure, never had women hitting on me when single. After married, it rained women. I was just as friendly with women before as after. The difference was before it was married women flirting with me and after it was both. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 People want what they can't have. Also if somebody else has them, there must be a good reason (they've got good qualities). If a person is single, there must be a good reason for it. They must be "defective" in some way. (I don't believe this to be true but it's how people think). Those 3 things automatically give a "taken" person higher value. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 It's the having-sex-a lot pheromones. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I would say it is true for me. My wedding seems to have attraction powers. I once had a woman almost have a meltdown in a hotel lobby because I refused to cheat on my wife with her while on a business trip. She kept trying to get me to go to he room and I kept telling her no. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 It just occurred to me that I never had the problem when having girlfriends, only when married. I guess some guys wouldn't consider getting hit on or flirted with a problem Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 In my experience, yes. Maybe because I'm not putting out the "I'm desperate to get laid! Please!!!" and the nerves that are associated with trying to be "cool" to attract a mate. If I truly don't care I think I am MUCH more relaxed. No "skin in the game" as it were, so can truly be relaxed and I think that shows through. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 It's not just because they're taken. It's because they're the opposite of desperate. They have options. So it's not just how they act either. It's that they are the type of person who has options and who plenty others find attractive on some level. So they genuinely are more overall attractive some way, whether it's personality or looks or success or whatever combination. So it's not just this one-dimensional thing, "unavailable" that makes them attractive. They're taken or have a high standard to get taken because they have assets. A person without assets can't pretend to be "unavailable" and expect to magically draw suitors 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I seem to be an outlier - I’ve been married over 20 years and during that time have never sensed an inkling of interest from any other woman. Very consistent with how my single life was most of the time. But I do agree with everyone in that if being in a relationship or knowing you have options makes you feel more comfortable in your skin, that can only help your appeal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted July 24, 2018 Author Share Posted July 24, 2018 I would say it is true for me. My wedding seems to have attraction powers. I once had a woman almost have a meltdown in a hotel lobby because I refused to cheat on my wife with her while on a business trip. She kept trying to get me to go to he room and I kept telling her no. I had a guy nearly cry when I turned him down for the second time. My situation isn't the same. Since I decided I didn't want to date, I got a little popular. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 It's absolutely true for me. As soon as I have a boyfriend, men start coming at me from every direction. I attribute it to the glowy sex & romance hormones and vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 it's totally true hotpotatoe. whenever i'm dating someone the women come out of the woodwork, especially her single friends. Same here. I’ve been in so many situations when I was dating a girl who I knew was temporary (or a real gf) and another girl would be flirting with me right in front of her. It’s happened to me more times than I can count. I’ve yet to master picking up another woman while with one. Advice appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 It's absolutely true for me. As soon as I have a boyfriend, men start coming at me from every direction. I attribute it to the glowy sex & romance hormones and vibe. For men I think it’s confidence. For woeman I believe they are happier and more approachable. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 It's absolutely true for me. As soon as I have a boyfriend, men start coming at me from every direction. I attribute it to the glowy sex & romance hormones and vibe. Maybe, but it's also that before, they weren't sure if you were aloof or stuck up or approachable, just some guys, and then they see you with some guy having a good time, approachable, they think, Huh, wish I'd known she could warm up like that. I know that was true for me, because I was aloof a lot and intense. After a bunch of guys I already knew saw me "in love," as soon as we broke up, which wasn't long, they all came around. They saw a different side of me. But now, they didn't come while I was with him. So I guess that goes down to ethics. Our crowd kind of knew each other or at least knew someone who knew someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 For me it's more men that I know that start flirting and saying "I had no idea you were open to having a boyfriend" or "I always thought your standards are high but now you are dating x and he isn't even all that" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I'll only say this much... When a guy is with an attractive woman(or really any woman), most of his male friends will be happy for him, and the more attractive she is, the more praise and slaps on the back for that guy from his buddies... Women see it another way...If they see a female friend/co worker, etc, with a good or attractive guy they often get bitter and envious...They may even make passes at that guy, even if they knew that guy forever and paid little attention to him when he was available, the minute he is with someone else, now all of a sudden she wants his attention...It's really strange and I have experienced it many times, with many different women over the course of my life... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 Well, for me it must be guys wanting what they can't have. I get hit on a lot more than usually lately. Maybe I seem more at peace. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 No discernible difference in real life. A similar number approach when single or unavailable. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I get more romantic attention, when I don't care and am in a more aloof state of mind. Never when I make the effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 8, 2018 Author Share Posted August 8, 2018 I get more romantic attention, when I don't care and am in a more aloof state of mind. Never when I make the effort. Why do you think that is? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilkilgore Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Why do you think that is? I have found the opposite. I always felt people were more attracted to me when I was single. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilkilgore Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Why do you think that is? Maybe you seem more sure of yourself then Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 10, 2018 Author Share Posted August 10, 2018 Maybe you seem more sure of yourself then That's the best I can figure. Maybe I seem happier. Link to post Share on other sites
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