depcharger Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 someone who works at my gym dislikes me and after seeing me speaking with a girl in a private empty gym class he asked to talk to her where he no doubt went above and beyond to speak badly about me we do not know each other at all. Aside from me being a gym member and him being an employee he is in 50's i am in 30's girl is 21 He dislikes me because a close friend of mine got into an argument with him months ago and complained about him. Other then being at the facility I had nothing to do with it. I have barely spoken to him I have talked to the girl and have tried flirting with her every time i see her and I have known her for 1 year now. Dude swears at me if I try to be polite and smile at him so i know he did his best to talk the worst about me. Do i try to find out what he said and defend myself? Pretend it did not happen and go on talking to her? Just move past her since my reputation has been destroyed Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Maybe he dislikes you because you make a lot of assumptions. Maybe their conversation had nothing whatsoever to do with you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Too much drama vast age differences too. She's 21 still a young adult your in you 30s you have the upper hand then you got 50 old involved in some drama. You do what you have to do but don't let the 50 year old get into your face. Does he own the gym or just employee? Try to talk with this girl outside the gym as the gym is not a place to talk social, more to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 If you have actual proof that he is conducting himself during his shift at his place of employment in a rude manner towards you, report it to his supervisor. You are a paying customer, and should be respected as such. That would be the adult way to handle it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 If you have actual proof that he is conducting himself during his shift at his place of employment in a rude manner towards you, report it to his supervisor. You are a paying customer, and should be respected as such. That would be the adult way to handle it. Yeah, if the employee is swearing at him he should be terminated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Geeze Louise. This sounds like high school. Crush? You're a dude in his late 30s you're too old to be using that word. Meanwhile this woman (hopefully) should be mature enough at least to take the opinion of some random under advisement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 She's 21. You're both probably way older than she's interested in dating. She could probably care less what this 50-year-old says about anyone! She's 21 and got the world at her fingertips and you two are probably the least of her concern. It's been a year, and nothing has happened, so it's not going to anyway. My guess is she has someone nearer her age she's hoping to get together with, because that's how young women are. You can't blame him for her not being interested after chasing her for a year with no results. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I've noticed lately, meaning in the last year, the deterioration of customer service from employees to customers. It's at the grocery store, dept. stores, restaurants, and there's a norm of rudeness that has become more than just noticeable. I recently had cashier at walmart become very rude to my wife and I with a purchase that I spoke to a store manager - and this isn't an isolated incident there. I count about 5 major needed to report situations where the rudeness was so disrespectful, I felt I had to do something. People have become a##h##s, to be blunt. Your situation fits the pattern. I'm assuming you want advice. Personally, if it were me, I would confront the employee man to man. Since the event happened and you did nothing, the advice about going to the manager is probably the best path. Call the club, ask to speak to a manager, and leave out the part about him talking about you to the girl. Leave that entire piece out of it. Talk about the rude behavior, the swearing, and leave out your opinions about the guy, stick to facts - you'll be more credible. Then, don't let there be a next time. When you go to the gym, ignore him, ignore the girl, and shut up and work out. If she's interested in you, she'll make a way. If he harasses you again, stop what you're doing, and go report him again by asking to speak to a manager. Make sure you state that this is the second time you've been harassed and if nothing is done about this employee, you will be speaking to a higher manager. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 1. You're in your 30's and she's 21. You've known her for a year and nothing has happened. At the risk of being Captain Obvious: You're too old for her and she's not interested. Look, I've flirted back to old guys when I was in my youth, but it didn't mean that I was remotely interested in romance. It was just a bit of fun. Given their age and expected maturity, I'd assume they knew it was just a bit of fun too. 2. If the employee is swearing at you, report him. If he's already been reported previously, it could be the last straw for him. Here's a last thought: could the young woman have complained about you hitting on her? If so, he could be looking out for her. That said, if this is the case, the gym should make sure the issue is handled in a much more professional manner. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 Pretend it didn't happen because you don't know it did. The high road is always better; it's less crowded. If the girl tells you he said stuff about you & it's factually refutable you can tell the gym management. Otherwise it's all too much drama & BS. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 1. She's not interested in either of you. 2. If dude cusses you out, then get him on video and go show it to management because there are rules of conduct at these places everyone agrees to abide by when they signed on the dotted line. 3. Stay in your lane and date women more your age 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Curious-One Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 You said it yourself you have talked to her for a YEAR and nothing happened. Sorry to say its not anything he said that is preventing you from getting her it is either her not being interested or you being too much of a pussy to ask her out. To be honest i think its pathetic for a 30 year old to have a crush on a girl from gym for a year and not ask her out...even more pathetic of believing some old guy is talking **** about you to the girl and beieving that is the reason you are not going to get her when you havent had the balls to get her for a year. Looks to me you are making excuses for your pathetic behavior. Finally you should know this by now (considering you are 30) but when you meet a girl the longer you dont make a move on her the less chance you have with getting with her. I would say most likely shes not interested in you but if you still want to give it a chance forget if or what that guy talked to her about and invite her out to hangout w you after gym so that you know where you stand and that you dont wonder your whole life what if i had asked her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Oh dear lord leave the poor girl alone. Creepers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Doost Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 You could tell the girl you’ve had bad experiences with the guy and ask if he said anything. If this guy is ruining your gem experience complain about him to the owners or corporate. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 I love that you have a “gym enemy”. God, isn’t the gym where you go to work out and unwind? I don’t even pay attention to anyone when I’m at the gym- I do my thing and get out! Since when is the gym a pick up place?! Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 (edited) Oh well, I don't have a problem with the age gap! But ironically, 30 old guys always look for younger girls! If a girl is older than the guy or the guy is older than the girl, who cares! I do understand if she was 25 and you were 35, that makes it more realistic but she is 21 means she is in college or hasn't matured fully yet. I would invest my time in someone older if I were you, plus after a year and nothing happened, means the girl is not really interested so you better leave her alone. It does bother me when some people approach me at the gym while I am watching stuff on my phone or jogging. But this employee is being unprofessional and you seem scared of him, you do realize you can speak to the management about his conduct. I mean why you are so passive about it? Also, I do understand about having people hating you at the gym, some people do make drama at the gym and hate others without reason. There was a girl who hates me at the gym and always laugh at me when I come near her. I really hated her because she was acting like we were in high school even though I didn't even once bother her. Edited August 14, 2018 by Noproblem Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 OP, unless you're leaving out a lot of information, I think you are jumping to conclusions. You have no idea what he spoke to this girl about. Going to "defend" yourself in this context would be silly, because you have no clue if their conversation was even about you. Digging to try to find out what was said is out of line and will make you look nuts and paranoid. It was a obviously a private conversation; leave it at that. Also, I don't get why he doesn't like you if he argued with your friend. What did you have to do with that? What do you mean he swears at you? He actually cusses you out when you are near him in the gym? Have you reported this? So many questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 Seem this was a drive by, if the thread starter comes back and wants to open this thread then please alert on my post, thanks all who posted Link to post Share on other sites
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