PinkPampies Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Then if you’re invested and he’s not, you may have to cut your losses now. Because he’ll hurt you down the line. Trust me, I’ve been in this situation before. Projecting feelings and thinking he must feel the same way. It doesn’t sound like he’s invested in you. Keep your options open and date around. Someone will want to be with you and ONLY you and you won’t have to worry about these situations. Don’t sell yourself short. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 This love at first sight thing was last year. Since then hes known her. He just saw her coming and went after her. No we dont really address each other as bf-gf. We know we are together but we dont really live together or such. Only for sex, he visits me or I would go to his place. Come on now, girl. You're talking out both sides of your mouth - you don't address each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, but you know you're together? No, you think you're together but his actions are demonstrating quite clearly that you are not. Sorry OP, but this guy is not into you the way you are into him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Come on now, girl. You're talking out both sides of your mouth - you don't address each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, but you know you're together? No, you think you're together but his actions are demonstrating quite clearly that you are not. Sorry OP, but this guy is not into you the way you are into him. He hugged me and treated me affectionately in front of everyone but didnt do anything with her and all are mutual friends knew we are in a sexual relationship/we go out etv so how can you say this? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 My friend did say sbe liked him too but his attitude pushed her away. Apparently he was as my friend was with him and my bf greeted her and said he going to meet someone a few days after the talk. Upset for what? I'm sorry Noah I can't interpret your last sentence. Could you rephrase it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 He hugged me and treated me affectionately in front of everyone but didnt do anything with her and all are mutual friends knew we are in a sexual relationship/we go out etv so how can you say this? Look Noah, if you feel this guy loves you and not her what do you need us for? Just enjoy your relationship and stop worrying about the other girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Look Noah, if you feel this guy loves you and not her what do you need us for? Just enjoy your relationship and stop worrying about the other girl. I'm not saying he does. If i felt i wouldnt ask. I just want to know how you think so? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 I'm sorry Noah I can't interpret your last sentence. Could you rephrase it. I mean why was he so upset? Shes not his gf or anyone then how come he has this kind of expectation? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 He hugged me and treated me affectionately in front of everyone but didnt do anything with her and all are mutual friends knew we are in a sexual relationship/we go out etv so how can you say this? Based on everything else you've written in this thread about how much he likes her and how non-committal he is with you, that's how. I am not sure what you're not understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I mean why was he so upset? Shes not his gf or anyone then how come he has this kind of expectation? NOAH! How many different ways do I have to tell you this - BECAUSE HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 NOAH! How many different ways do I have to tell you this - BECAUSE HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER! But didnt he mess up his own chance? He didnt even talk to her and she left and now they are separated ? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I'm not saying he does. If i felt i wouldnt ask. I just want to know how you think so? You obviously feel he doesn't love her but loves you because you refuse to accept any explanation we give you as to why he reacts to this girl the way he does. At this point I'm tired of trying to convince you of what is as obvious as the nose on your face. So now, if you don't understand this then go with your own thoughts because I've already told you 10 times in 10 different ways why he is acting this way. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 But didnt he mess up his own chance? He didnt even talk to her and she left and now they are separated ? Have you asked him why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Based on everything else you've written in this thread about how much he likes her and how non-committal he is with you, that's how. I am not sure what you're not understanding. Well alright. The only thing that baffles me is how he does things with me and still like her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Have you asked him why? He doesnt know i know it so i havent mentioned. All i know now that this girl was mutual friends with 1 of his friends and apparently she told the guy to wish him well and to take care. I dunno if the guy told my bf but that is what i now know. As for me asking him, he has never talked to her in front of me or our friends so i basically cant ask him otherwise he will go off at our friend. The only thing i find hard to believe is how can he be angry or mean at her even without being in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Well alright. The only thing that baffles me is how he does things with me and still like her? Honestly and with respect, I don't understand how that baffles you. It's not complicated. You are not his girlfriend, and he's not emotionally invested in you. He is in her, though. So it's easy for him to have you around for some fun and sex, because he's not emotionally tied to you. No problem, it's all fun and good times with no strings attached. Is this your first fling? I am asking sincerely, as you appear to have very little grasp of how casual dating works. Your naivety (or willful blindness, whichever it actually is) works perfectly to his advantage, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Honestly and with respect, I don't understand how that baffles you. It's not complicated. You are not his girlfriend, and he's not emotionally invested in you. He is in her, though. So it's easy for him to have you around for some fun and sex, because he's not emotionally tied to you. No problem, it's all fun and good times with no strings attached. Is this your first fling? I am asking sincerely, as you appear to have very little grasp of how casual dating works. Your naivety (or willful blindness, whichever it actually is) works perfectly to his advantage, unfortunately. This is my first. You think he has more emotional attachment to her? I do understand that since last year they have been doing this but he has still placed annoyance on her? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 He doesnt know i know it so i havent mentioned. All i know now that this girl was mutual friends with 1 of his friends and apparently she told the guy to wish him well and to take care. I dunno if the guy told my bf but that is what i now know. As for me asking him, he has never talked to her in front of me or our friends so i basically cant ask him otherwise he will go off at our friend. The only thing i find hard to believe is how can he be angry or mean at her even without being in a relationship? What was wrong with the girl telling your bf's friend to tell your bf to take care and she wishes him well? There is no harm in that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 What was wrong with the girl telling your bf's friend to tell your bf to take care and she wishes him well? There is no harm in that. What if he hears that and he feels remorse? And plans on taking her back if he meets her again? Or what if he feels he made a mistake by getting angry ?? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 What if he hears that and he feels remorse? And plans on taking her back if he meets her again? Or what if he feels he made a mistake by getting angry ?? What do you mean "take her back"? They were never together according to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 What do you mean "take her back"? They were never together according to you. Means will he feel bad or guilty? They werent together but why do u think that way? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 This is my first. You think he has more emotional attachment to her? I do understand that since last year they have been doing this but he has still placed annoyance on her? Yes, I had a feeling this fling is new territory for you. Have you had a boyfriend before? If he weren't emotionally attached to her, he'd be much less annoyed and irritated by her. You don't seem to understand that his reaction would be totally different if he didn't really care about her. What you have with this guy isn't a relationship. If it hasn't gotten there by now, it won't get there in the future either. Whether or not this girl turns up again, this isn't going where you want it to go. Why are you so stuck on him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Yes, I had a feeling this fling is new territory for you. Have you had a boyfriend before? If he weren't emotionally attached to her, he'd be much less annoyed and irritated by her. You don't seem to understand that his reaction would be totally different if he didn't really care about her. What you have with this guy isn't a relationship. If it hasn't gotten there by now, it won't get there in the future either. Whether or not this girl turns up again, this isn't going where you want it to go. Why are you so stuck on him? We were doing this for 2 years and he is hot. Our sex is awesome. I had no idea he was attached to somebody else unless i found out. Do u really think if she turns up again he ll go after her again? Coz our friend was saying that if he realises his mistake his feelings will double and he ll be changed man for her. This does not sit well with me at all and i really dont see why he would since they went their own ways with him holding anger and grudge? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Means will he feel bad or guilty? They werent together but why do u think that way? Feel guilty about what? Why do I think that way about what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Feel guilty about what? Why do I think that way about what? This so called resentment and annoyance ? And i mean you saying they had a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 We were doing this for 2 years and he is hot. Our sex is awesome. I had no idea he was attached to somebody else unless i found out. 2 years you've been doing this? That is crazy, if you were expecting a relationship out this. Where is your self-respect? If you were okay with this casual arrangement, I would tell you to keep having your fun. But clearly, you're not, and you think it's more than it really is. Do u really think if she turns up again he ll go after her again? Coz our friend was saying that if he realises his mistake his feelings will double and he ll be changed man for her. This does not sit well with me at all and i really dont see why he would since they went their own ways with him holding anger and grudge? I would put money on it, yes. I don't know how else to explain to you why he would go after her again - we have all told you that his level of anger is actually a reflection of how much he wants her and how much he is upset he couldn't have her. You are refusing to listen and keep asking the same questions over and over and over. We keep repeating the same thing. Not sure what it is you're not getting here. Link to post Share on other sites
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