gracey123 Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I broke up with my ex around 2 weeks ago, he has reached out twice saying he messed up then backed out saying he doesn’t know what he wants. He’s met someone else but doesn’t think he’ll start seeing them. Says he misses me but doesn’t want me but hopefully we will get to try again in the future. I really want him back. Is it too late? Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Says he misses me but doesn’t want me There's your answer. What are you holding out hope for if someone clearly says they don't want you? Sorry. Start full NC now so you can heal and move on sooner Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I broke up with my ex around 2 weeks ago, he has reached out twice saying he messed up then backed out saying he doesn’t know what he wants. He’s met someone else but doesn’t think he’ll start seeing them. Says he misses me but doesn’t want me but hopefully we will get to try again in the future. I really want him back. Is it too late? He dumped you for someone new, and you're letting him make the decision that he can try again with you in the future, should it be convenient for him? Self-respect. Don't give him that choice, he doesn't deserve it. Not without a full 180 apology, anyways, and some serious time for maturity. Don't expect it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Since you are the dumper, understand that he may have been very hurt. He doesn't want to just come back when you change your mind and snap your fingers. He has pride and trust was broken. If the relationship was good, and you made a mistake breaking up with him, then do keep communications open. Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I broke up with my ex around 2 weeks ago, he has reached out twice saying he messed up then backed out saying he doesn’t know what he wants. He’s met someone else but doesn’t think he’ll start seeing them. Says he misses me but doesn’t want me but hopefully we will get to try again in the future. I really want him back. Is it too late? Wait, who's the dumper? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 He broke up with me cos he didn’t know what he wanted. He keeps telling me he doesn’t know what he wants. We argued a fair bit for a few weeks cos of stupid stuff. Idk what to do I just want to be back with him. Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Idk what to do Full no contact. Do not reach out to him, and do not accept calls, texts, emails, etc. If he shows up on your doorstep begging for forgiveness, you can make that call (but know that he has a habit of going back on his word). In the meantime, process your emotions. Recognize that this relationship is over. He doesn't want you. If you can handle the truth - that he doesn't want you - the hurt will come up and you can process it. Suppressing it with thoughts about getting back together will only keep the hurt repressed. Get your pride back. This guy is treating you like a disposable toy. You are not a toy, and he is not worthy of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 Just can’t stop thinking about when things were good, and how happy I was. I miss him so much it’s cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 Reconcilliation can only happen when both parties want to get back together. Your EX made the decision that he no longer wanted to date you. As painful as that reality is, (& my heart does break for you) you do not have the power to change his mind & bring him back to you. What you have to do, is do what is best for you. That is taking steps to heal. It will be a long process & the beginning -- now -- hurts like heck. You are allowed to cry & grieve. You lost something that was precious to you. But you can't beg, grovel or chase. You must keep your dignity. Once your tears try up, you have to begin to purge him from your life. You can start while you are still crying. Get a box. Put everything he ever gave you, every memento, anything that reminds you of him in the box. Go through your phone, computer & social media. Move all pictures to a flash drive. Put the flash drive in the box. Tape the box closed . . . use LOTS of tape so it's tough to re-open the box. Stick the box in the attic, basement or deep closet where it's not easily accessible. Also disconnect from him on all platforms: delete him from your phone & on ALL social media. In time you will start to feel better. Progress from there. Meanwhile surround yourself with supportive friends & family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 He broke up with me cos he didn’t know what he wanted. He keeps telling me he doesn’t know what he wants. We argued a fair bit for a few weeks cos of stupid stuff. Idk what to do I just want to be back with him. Oh I thought you broke up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 He’s gave me hope and that’s the worst thing. I just have to move on and hope one day we fix it like he says. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 If he's so unsure about what he wants, then you're only setting yourself up for more pain if you do end up getting back together. You deserve someone who is going to be 100% committed to a serious relationship if that's what you want. In the meantime, don't let him give you hope. Block him if you have to. As others have said, you need to take the time to heal. The sooner you stop contacting him, the sooner things will get better, as much as it sucks in the meantime. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 He’s gave me hope and that’s the worst thing. I just have to move on and hope one day we fix it like he says. He's not going to fix it, and you're only wasting your time. He's leading you on. Hard truth. The hope is bad for you. Stop hoping. It prevents you from fully letting go and moving on to better men. It's painful, but once you get it out, you will be thinking so much more clearly. GL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 When I picked my junk from his house he hugged me and said “see you later maybe” so idk I’ve not spoke to him for 2 days, I don’t get how he can miss me but not want me Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 I broke up with my ex around 2 weeks ago, he has reached out twice saying he messed up then backed out saying he doesn’t know what he wants. He’s met someone else but doesn’t think he’ll start seeing them. Says he misses me but doesn’t want me but hopefully we will get to try again in the future. I really want him back. Is it too late? If he reached out to you why didn't you take him back then rather than wait until he's interested in a new girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 If he reached out to you why didn't you take him back then rather than wait until he's interested in a new girl? He met the girl before that. And he doesn’t want me back he says all this like he wants to see me again then says he doesn’t know why he says it cos he doesn’t know what he wants Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 He does know what he wants, which is to no longer be involved with you. He's feigning ignorance because he is trying to soften the blow. He thinks he's being nice. He's actually being cruel giving you false hope. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 Just hope we do get a second chance one day. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 Just hope we do get a second chance one day. Why? From where I sit the relationship wasn't that great. You were fighting in the end. He's playing games now. He already dumped you once. Why would you ever trust him not to do it again? You are romanticizing the good beginning of your relationship & failing to recognize the problems which led to the break up. So other than you are sad & feel rejected right now, what would you be going back to? Your healing won't start in earnest until you accept the fact that this is really over & you aren't getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 I know I’m stupid for wanting him back. I just hope after some time apart things will change and he realises what he’s lost Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 You are not stupid. You are heartbroken. There's a big difference. Cut yourself some slack but do look at the situation a bit more objectively & a bit less emotionally to the extent you can right now in the throws of it being acute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 You are not stupid. You are heartbroken. There's a big difference. Cut yourself some slack but do look at the situation a bit more objectively & a bit less emotionally to the extent you can right now in the throws of it being acute. I know he didn’t treat me right, and he himself knows that cos he kept saying it. I just hope one day he will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 28, 2018 Author Share Posted July 28, 2018 After work thoughts I know my life with him would’ve been bad. I’d have had no money No trust No self esteem I don’t miss him, I miss having someone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 After work thoughts I know my life with him would’ve been bad. I’d have had no money No trust No self esteem I don’t miss him, I miss having someone Now that is progress. GOOD JOB. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gracey123 Posted July 28, 2018 Author Share Posted July 28, 2018 Part of me wants him to message me, as he’s never seen me be anything other than soft and weak. I want him to see a tougher side. I want him to want me back purely so I can be proud of moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts