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Is it too late to reconcile?

gracey123

By gracey123,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ThreeRainbows

ThreeRainbows

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Today he used my bank card online. He said he did it because he was stranded and he’s sorry. He asked what I’m up to. I wish I could be strong

 

 

Oh my god. He just stole from you!

 

 

Call your card's contact number, report the charge as not authorized, and ask them to send you a new card (it will freeze your card temporarily, usually only takes 3 days).

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guest569

guest569

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Unsure whether to break NC to tell him what kind of scum he is.

 

Nope. Did you cancel the card yet? Cut him off completely.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Today he used my bank card online. He said he did it because he was stranded and he’s sorry. He asked what I’m up to. I wish I could be strong

 

You should be furious. He STOLE money from you. Stop making excuses for this loser. You are better off without him.

 

Do not break NC to tell him he's scum. Depending on the amount, have a lawyer write him a letter for the money or call the cops.

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gracey123

gracey123

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He messaged me today. Asking if he could pay me to let him use my eBay. I had him blocked but he downloaded WhatsApp to ask me. There’s other people he could ask. Why is he doing this.

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stillafool

stillafool

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He messaged me today. Asking if he could pay me to let him use my eBay. I had him blocked but he downloaded WhatsApp to ask me. There’s other people he could ask. Why is he doing this.

 

Because he wants something off of eBay and you have an account. Block him from everything then you won't have to worry about this nonsense.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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He messaged me today. Asking if he could pay me to let him use my eBay. I had him blocked but he downloaded WhatsApp to ask me. There’s other people he could ask. Why is he doing this.

 

Because he thinks you are a soft touch & sucker.

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Zahara

Zahara

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He messaged me today. Asking if he could pay me to let him use my eBay. I had him blocked but he downloaded WhatsApp to ask me. There’s other people he could ask. Why is he doing this.

 

So this guy is very blatantly wanting to use you to support his addiction. I can’t imagine what you did for him while he was in the relationship with you! After dumping you, he has the audacity to:

 

1. Ask you for money

2. Ask for you PayPal account

3. Ask you to get him a cab

4. Ask you for access to FB to sell stuff

5. Steal from your bank account

 

Girl, you need to raise your standards and aim higher.

 

Of course he’s going to reach out to you. He’s hoping you’ll be a sucker just like you’ve always been. You think all this contact is somehow his way of breaking ice and wanting you back? No! Addicts will do just about anything to support their fix. You’re likely not the only one he’s asking or stealing from. You supported him then and he’s hoping you’ll be weak enough to do it again. If he badgers you enough, he’s hoping he may break your resolve. He just wants to use you.

 

This is dead. Don’t expect or even hope for change or reconciliation. Treat this as a permanent break-up. You must and have to believe you deserve better. This guy is a black hole. Stay away from him.

 

Learn to love yourself. In time you’ll see this for what it really is and thank your lucky stars you kicked this clown to the curb.

Edited by Zahara
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gracey123

gracey123

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Not helping him is so hard, I’m a gentle caring person by nature and naturally I do want to help. But I know he takes advantage. I want to move on and start dating again and I know I need this for personal growth. Just having him almost beg me is so so hard. Idk. Just venting. X

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Normm

Normm

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Not helping him is so hard, I’m a gentle caring person by nature and naturally I do want to help. But I know he takes advantage.

 

 

Nah, it's about you still being hung up on him. If it was about you being a gentle caring person by nature there's a zillion places you can focus your energy such as homeless children and dying animals. But you're focused on him and he's focused on taking advantage of you and he's winning.

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Zahara

Zahara

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Not helping him is so hard, I’m a gentle caring person by nature and naturally I do want to help. But I know he takes advantage. I want to move on and start dating again and I know I need this for personal growth. Just having him almost beg me is so so hard. Idk. Just venting. X

 

There’s a difference between being gentle and caring versus being co-dependent and a doormat.

 

Be gentle and caring but have boundaries. Give and be kind to those that deserve it and do not mean you harm. The issue with you is that you lack boundaries and the ability to care/love yourself first.

 

Usually when we are generous with toxic people it’s because we’re looking for acceptance and validation. We’re hoping the nicer we are and the more we give, then maybe they’ll love us and accept us the way we want them too. The more they treat us badly, the more we try to appease.

 

He begs because he needs to feed his addiction. The only person that can help him is himself. If anything, your presence in his life will only enable his bad behavior. This is for the best. Hopefully he wakes up one day.

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Whodatdog

Whodatdog

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Not helping him is so hard, I’m a gentle caring person by nature and naturally I do want to help. But I know he takes advantage. I want to move on and start dating again and I know I need this for personal growth. Just having him almost beg me is so so hard. Idk. Just venting. X

 

Not helping do what, spend your money? I think you can do that yourself. Stop letting him contact you to try and get money from you. Why dont you call him and ask for money and see how that goes?

 

Block block block.

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gracey123

gracey123

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I know I won’t respond to him. Just sadly my heart wants to, however my head is saying no

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gracey123

gracey123

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A long one haha.

 

Okay, so. I spoke to him today. He wanted my Facebook and i refused. I asked him why he only messages me when he wants something. He said he has someone now, I told him to ask them for help. He insulted me and said some vile things. I kept it cool and said I am out of his life now. He asked me for money “as we won’t speak again cos he has someone” I told him that’s fine as I’m dating now, but if that’s what he wants. He said maybe in the future. But can he lend money until next time “as a friend” I didn’t reply. His number has been deleted. He also accused me of cheating on him and asked who I’d slept with after him.

 

Idk why but I feel good.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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gracey123

gracey123

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An update! Albeit a confused one

 

 

So I have been almost 2 weeks NC with my ex, and I feel good.

However, my head is not in a good place in regards to feelings etc as I have no idea what guys mean anymore, I start therapy on Friday.

 

I have been speaking to someone else, they’re 19 I’m 21 and they’re really really nice, we speak all day, he compliments me a lot saying I’m stunning I’m perfect he likes everything about me, and obviously we’ve spoke about the naughty stuff too. I’m extremely apprehensive because I feel like I’m going to end up liking this guy, and I’m soooo afraid of being hurt again.

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