I’m so disappointed in my dad

[GoreSP]

My new boyfriend is bisexual. My dad is making a big fuss out of it, saying he is worried he will go off and sleep with other men even though we are together.

 

I am so disappointed in this. Especially since my ex was straight as an arrow but pilled up emotional affair after emotional affair and I wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated on me...

 

I’m not looking for any advice. I’m just looking for a place to vent and this seemed like the place.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm not defending your dad (even though I can sometimes be a crusty old guy with archaic opinions), but:

 

 

If this is a new boyfriend, how is it that your dad already knows he's bisexual? That seems like TMI at this stage in the game. I don't necessarily want to know who or what the people my kids are dating are inclined to screw.

[anduina]

Vent away. Old notions can be frustrating. What's true is that bisexuals are less likely to be interested in monogamous relationships. What's not true is that bisexuals are prone to cheating. They're separate issues that your father's confusing.

 

Maybe ask your father that since men in general including him, are less enamored by monogamous relationships, does this mean that that men in general will cheat?

[glows]

I have no idea why your dad would know about your boyfriend's sexual orientation. How old are you? If your boyfriend is bad news and you're 14, I get it. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and stop blabbering about your boyfriend's business or your personal business.

[stillafool]

You apparently know your Dad's standards so I don't know why you told him your bf was bi. BTW, your father is right.

[OatsAndHall]

Unfortunately, homosexuality and bisexuality are simply tolerated by some people but not accepted. I have run across my fair share of folks who aren't openly or vocally bigoted towards the LGBT community but it's a whole different story when a gay or bisexual individual pops into their lives in some manner.

 

 

 

Take your dad's opinion with a grain of salt.

[BaileyB]

I'm sure that your dad is concerned about you and wants only your best interest.

 

Is there reason to be concerned? Are you in a committed monogomous relationship with this man? Because, if you are not... To each their own - but, he is engaging in high risk sexual behavior and your father has good reason to be concerned about your health and well being.

[GoreSP]

We are in our mid thirties. My boyfriend has two kids, and has his own company. Nothing sbout this guy is « bad news »

 

Anyhow, my parents know because it slipped out during a conversation where I mentionned his ex and used male pronouns. Not really willing to go more into details as tl what I was talking about but I was so unbothered by him having a male ex I wasn’t « careful » to not hint at it...

[GoreSP]

You apparently know your Dad's standards so I don't know why you told him your bf was bi. BTW, your father is right.

 

That’s exactly why I’m dissapointed. He has never shown signs of homophobia or biphobia in the past.

 

And no he’s not

[GoreSP]

Also, we usually are fairly open communication wise between me and my parents.

My boyfriend knows I mentionned it accidentally and he thought it was funny.

 

Not everyone is stuck in the 50s...

[Miss Clavel]

My new boyfriend is bisexual. My dad is making a big fuss out of it, saying he is worried he will go off and sleep with other men even though we are together.

 

if he goes off and sleeps with someone else, it's cheating, period.

 

man or woman.

 

not sure why it's worse if he cheats with a man or a woman?

[Gaeta]

They will get over it.

 

 

I am a mom of an adult daughter and sometimes I get all worked up over something she tells me and then I accept it. It's just out of love and worry that I have an initial outburst.

 

 

 

You should tell them your relationship will be like any other relationship, if he cheats you will end it and move on. Reassure them you were both tested and you're both healthy (do it if it's not been done already).

 

 

If you were my daughter I would also have had a huge reaction. Men having sex with men are a group at high risk for contracting serious diseases.

[preraph]

As far as your dad is concerned, no one is going to be good enough. But never forget that your dad is also a man. He knows a lot of men cheat, no matter whether they're straight or bi or gay. It's real easy for men to cheat with other men because a lot of men do not have qualms about it. Your father knows this.

 

I dated a bi guy who was in his early 20s I guess and we were not exclusive anyway, but I went over to his house one night because someone was trying to follow me home from a bar and he and his male roommate were together on the sleeper sofa in the living room. Very casual. I wasn't hurt, btw. I figured as much really.

 

A friend of mine who was mainly gay liked women with huge boobs and married one, and I was a close friend and so he often made long-distance calls to me and he went nearly crazy after a few years wanting man sex. He totally loved his wife, but he had this separate need. So you can't just discount that. Bi means you want both, so it can mean double the trouble, but as always, it depends on the ethics of the person and whether they will do the right thing to keep from hurting someone. Good luck. Don't be mad at Dad. He's a man. He knows things. Things you don't want to know.