MWC early stage of wife having a FWB

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello, hello:

 

I am new to LoveShack so pardon me if I am making any mistakes here.

 

My question isHow do you keep your marriage spicy ?

 

My hubby and I are in our 40's educated, professionals, with all the trappings of middle class life. When out of town my hubby and I will play what we call the single female and him eventually picking me up a a bar or hotel setting.

 

For example this one hotel we like has daily happy hours pool side. I will show up at the happy hour / pool without my husband in a fairly skimpy swimsuit and then mingle / flirt typically with business men. Since being away from home and not having to worry about bumping into friends or family, I tend to be a very sexy flirt with the man or men who are interested in me, which includes dancing.

 

Hubby eventually shows up and sweeps me off my feet and back to the hotel room for some intense sex. With this routine I have been given many business cards from these male admirers, all in good fun.

[BettyDraper]

Hello, hello:

 

I am new to LoveShack so pardon me if I am making any mistakes here.

 

My question isHow do you keep your marriage spicy ?

 

My hubby and I are in our 40's educated, professionals, with all the trappings of middle class life. When out of town my hubby and I will play what we call the single female and him eventually picking me up a a bar or hotel setting.

 

For example this one hotel we like has daily happy hours pool side. I will show up at the happy hour / pool without my husband in a fairly skimpy swimsuit and then mingle / flirt typically with business men. Since being away from home and not having to worry about bumping into friends or family, I tend to be a very sexy flirt with the man or men who are interested in me, which includes dancing.

 

Hubby eventually shows up and sweeps me off my feet and back to the hotel room for some intense sex. With this routine I have been given many business cards from these male admirers, all in good fun.

 

That sounds hot!

 

My husband and I like to have sex in different places.

 

When we were in Paris, he bent me over the balcony of our hotel room and took me from behind. It was gloriously passionate and romantic.

 

We also enjoy having sex on the stairs leading to our top floor. Our linen closet is mirrored so we enjoy watching ourselves too.

[MWC BlondeKim]

Betty, thanks for your reply.

 

Yes hubby and I have enjoyed the thrill of having sex on an open air balcony several times.

 

To add another level of sexual excitement to my hubby and I outings where he eventually picks me up as I am flirting.

 

Is who will chicken out first ? We have a signal to let the other one know we are calling the sexual escapade off.

 

For example, I was flirting extremely heavy with a handsome man at a poolside happy hour. I had been dancing and flirting with this man for quite sometime. To the point where my admirer was fingering my lady parts under the table which was easily done in my short skirt with no panties.

 

Hubby took some time but gave me the signal to call it off. Within minutes my hubby and I were humping like crazed animals back in our hotel room.

 

The rest of the weekend in fun I called him chicken, and he would add the next time I would chicken out first.....can't wait for our next time out

[MrsConflicted]

Betty, thanks for your reply.

 

Yes hubby and I have enjoyed the thrill of having sex on an open air balcony several times.

 

To add another level of sexual excitement to my hubby and I outings where he eventually picks me up as I am flirting.

 

Is who will chicken out first ? We have a signal to let the other one know we are calling the sexual escapade off.

 

For example, I was flirting extremely heavy with a handsome man at a poolside happy hour. I had been dancing and flirting with this man for quite sometime. To the point where my admirer was fingering my lady parts under the table which was easily done in my short skirt with no panties.

 

Hubby took some time but gave me the signal to call it off. Within minutes my hubby and I were humping like crazed animals back in our hotel room.

 

The rest of the weekend in fun I called him chicken, and he would add the next time I would chicken out first.....can't wait for our next time out

 

Uhm I don't know the dynamic of the relationship, but getting fingered isn't flirting, is foreplay. I wonder if your husband is aware your letting other men stick their fingers inside you, and if so how okay he even is with it since it makes him "call it off"...

[MWC BlondeKim]

To Mrs. Conflicted

 

Yes my hubby knew another man was fingering me, which is all within our agreed upon boundaries.

 

Maybe some would consider it foreplay but for hubby and I it is how him and I keep the marriage spicy.

[OneParadox]

I am quite impressed by how you and your husband can communicate. Even though it might not be everyone's cup of tea, it is quite a feat to even have conversation regarding this sort of thing, much less actually go through with it. And sounds like you are both are having quite a bit of fun with it. As long as you guys communicate and are respectful of each other it should be no one's business how you and your husband have fun. I suspect many people in long term marriages would be envious of your relationship with your husband.

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello,

 

Thank you for being impressed on how hubby and I can communicate and have fun in our marriage.

 

You are absolutely correct in your statement, " I suspect many people in long term marriages would be envious of your relationship with your husband". My hubby has many positive attributes from being tall, handsome, smart, etc., but the one attribute my married female friends are most envious of is my husband's total lack of jealousy and only wish their husband had less jealousy.

 

I have always been a natural flirt which my husband correctly views as part of my outgoing personality, and it is just me being me, and he fully accepts that and has never tried to hinder my flirting.

 

My flirting with other men when out of town on vacation is something both my husband and I enjoy and look forward to. Keeping a marriage spicy is one of the keys to longterm happiness.

[Woggle]

Just do what comes naturally to people who are still madly in love and hot for each other.

[OneParadox]

Flirting is not only natural but also very healthy. Even for people in committed long term relationships. It helps self esteem, and makes people feel sexy and desired. It also helps married folks in keep their game up and actually make them more attractive to their partners. Plus it is just plain fun!

 

The issue for those in committed relationships is to always be respectful and protective of their partners. One thing is to be playful around strangers and something completely different is to do things that can humiliate, embarrass, or threaten long term partners. Each couple draws the line at different places. And communication the only way these sort of things can be successfully sorted out.

 

Jealousy is a reaction driven by fear. Fear of losing something we value deeply. Sometimes jealousy is in fact warranted. But sometimes it is the result of insecurities and close mindedness. Managing jealousy is absolutely key in a long term marriage. Few things can be as toxic in a long term relationship as the asphyxiation that comes from an over jealous partner.

 

A question for you: what other things have you considered doing to keep the spice in your marriage? what is off-limits?

[alphamale]

My question isHow do you keep your marriage spicy ?

eat a lot of jalapenos

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello, hello:

 

I fully agree and so would my husband with all the extremely valid points you made in your last post pretaining to marriage and jealousy.

 

As for your question; "what other things have you considered doing to keep the spice in your marriage, what is off-limits?"

 

My husband and I had a blast crafting a "sexual Hall Pass" for me, meaning I could have sex with another man all within the framework of my blissful marriage. It was soon much fun for hubby and I in writing up the Hall Pass, signing, then locking it up in a safe place, immediately followed by him and I humping like crazed rabbits.

 

Side note: hubby does not flirt and does not want a Hall Pass for himself.

 

Having the Hall Pass makes me feel younger, more energetic, liberated, and motivates me to keep in shape which all leads to better sex with my husband.

 

Will I use it, both hubby and I predict I will.

 

As I mentioned in my first posting for this thread, I keep the business cards from my male admirers when out flirting on vacation. This would be a first I am thinking of calling one handsome Italian man and taking him up on his date offer.

[Art_Critic]

While you have the hall pass and your husband is on board are you sure you want to possibly damage your marriage like this ?

 

It seems till now even the hall passes have been fantasy, will you break the trust by making your fantasy a reality and hiding behind the hall pass ?

 

It seems your marriage is sexually vibrant and you love each other, why can't that be enough ?

[central]

We've done a lot of things, from trivial to what most would think extreme - and we're nowhere near as adventurous as some people we've met.

 

At the really trivial end, we occasionally switch sides of the bed. Things become new again when you have to re-adapt all the angles, which especially matters during foreplay. Using a different hand than usual makes for different sensations. And you become an ambidextrous lover!

 

We tend to change other things up periodically, but not usually by design. When something starts to get routine, we find that we start changing to different positions, who initiates more, add/subtract some oral, add/subtract lingerie / music / lighting / scents, etc. Date nights are a good idea, where we focus on each other and being together. (We don't care for porn, but some people we know like to watch it together, and sometimes replicate what they've watched.) We've found that travel, and having adventures together, also leads to more and better sex.

 

At the more extreme end (obviously not for everyone), we've tried swinging, long term FWB, threesomes, and had a poly relationship for a number of years. Other partners definitely spice things up - and not just with those people, as it does even more for us. And, you can't be complacent or take each other for granted in these scenarios - it challenges you to up your game. (We haven't had any problems or risks develop from this, as we're very deeply into each other, and would stop anything that might interfere with that.)

Edited July 6, 2018 by central

[MWC BlondeKim]

You make some very valid points in your post.

 

My husband and I have on several occasions talk about the possibility of him and I having a longterm FWB and / or a threesome and him and I both strongly agreeing that this would be with a male.

 

What holds us back the most from doing something like this is we would not want to do this anywhere near our hometown due to concerns of friends or family finding out then casting negatives comments to others upon my husband and I, strong and loving marriage.

 

If hubby and a I did go through with this it would be away on one of our frequent vacation locations.

[central]

If hubby and a I did go through with this it would be away on one of our frequent vacation locations.

 

It's very easy to find men for this. Join a swinger site and search your vacation area. Longer term FWB or poly relationships are more difficult, as you'd be looking for the same kinds of compatibilities and attraction as in your current relationship, with the added difficulty of the men being comfortable with each other and not trying to compete, or the new guy trying to lure you away.

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello, hello:

 

You seem very knowledgeable about this lifestyle.

 

Join a swinger site and search your vacation area. Great idea

Longer term FWB or poly relationships are more difficult. Yet, for hubby and I, a longterm or poly relationship would be more desirable.

 

 

You'd be looking for the same kinds of compatibilities and attraction as in your current relationship. Very valid points, plus would prefer a man 5 to 10 years younger than hubby and I.

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello, happily married white couple, educated, professional and very much in love, open communication with no hidden agendas.

 

Both my husband and I are in shape an attractive and get along on all levels from sex to our interests and hobbies. We married young, had our family young and just recently entered the empty nester stage.

 

The one issue that my hubby and I have as at teacher a have lots of time off such as 9 weeks off for summer vacation. On the other hand my hubby is a corporate worker working long hours year around with minimal vacation time.

 

With my time off in the past I spent raising the family, now as an empty nesters I have a bit too much downtime on my hands sitting around waiting for my husband to get home. Yes I try to keep active and productive but a few months ago my hubby and I started talking about the idea of me having a male friend to be an activity partner in my spare time and to include sex.

 

One of the many great qualities my hubby has is he has zero jealousy that has always been a positive for the marriage.

 

Through a good friend of mine I have met Greg, 10 years younger than I, handsome, tall, professional type with a pleasant personality, Italian and divorced. Hubby and I both agree that Greg is an excellent match for what we are looking for. With hubby full knowledge and consent I have been bicycling with Greg and having lunch together. Greg and I are at the mild flirting stage with a few hugs and kisses. I have been upfront with Greg telling him I am looking for a long term friend and activity partner which he is fully onboard with.

 

So I hope I explained my background and situation well enough to hear back from the members of this forum constructive feedback and even better yet other married couples who have tried something like this.

 

Just to point out my hubby has no interest in having a female FWB, and although I have not had sex with Greg yet that is coming soon. Thanks Blonde Kim

[central]

I am in an open relationship (18 years), and we both see others, at least occasionally. It has worked well for us, because we are very careful of each others' feelings.

 

So, yes, this can work. Just be careful to never take you husband for granted, don't neglect him in favor of anyone else, and be very aware of any reservations he may have, but not express. Deal with those kindly and compassionately, and I think it will all be okay.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Lady, from all that you have posted it looks like you are well on your way to becoming a Hotwife. You can Google the definition if you are not familiar with it. If you really want meaningful feedback and advice about the kind of play you want to partake of then I would say that you should visit Hotwife websites where you will get all the advice and encouragement to help you slip into that scene with the least amount of trouble and bad experiences.

 

Just to clarify, I have no personal experience of this alternative lifestyle except what I have gathered from the net. I would only add one word of warning. 'Be careful what you wish for, it may just come true! Best wishes.