Kissed my ex

[MJ5150_5150]

So roller coaster relationship with ex gf. Much of which was compounded by me not having head straight after divorce and all the cumulative issues that built up.

 

Fast forward a year and a bit we haven’t been together she is dating someone else. Went straight into the relationship. I have been single. We both seem like we have let gonofnthe past and pretty happy. I think we have both changed for the positive. I really love the girl and mentally wasn’t open to anything since but feel like almost there.

 

We have texted on, Met up up for coffee , and off. She has always been really bitter and emotional about us. She unblocked me after some long NC and I asked her what’s up.

 

So last week. She replied with basically Shes great. But still disappointed in you, us etc. more chat evolved to ok let’s be nice. It’s her bday next week so I suggest coffee. My intentions were pretty innocent. Brought a gift. Still harbour a lot of love but not expecting anything. Genuinely wanted to wish her happy bday.

 

Coffee ends she walks me to my car at her call. We hug it out and end up kissing. Then I go. I text her and she seems to agree that we have amazing chemistry but “we are diff people”. However she admitted she doesn’t look at anyone like us sonappears cinfused. So mixed signals.

 

So I am like ok. Tell her how i feel about her, I love her to bits buts she’s been angry me for a long time and thats it. However feels like she’s no longer angry at me and has let go now. I nev r cheated I was just didn’t commit post divorce and struggled mentally with it all. Completely Diff now, time by myself has been great in hindsight. Whether we broke up earlier or when we did. I needed this to be in the right headspace so can’t change that it would of broken regardless to get here. I let go of everything, feel completely different. Resolve to go NC again as I’ve said my piece and it’s her decision.

 

I guess I’m just curious. Anyone else been in this situation?

 

I feel like she bounced into rebound but has been a while so maybe will stick but confused.

 

I guess it likely goes either way? I am fine on my own and meet someone else or she sorts it out. It’s funny for a long time I thought i carrried the drama but I’m not in another relationship still emotional at an ex. I’m kind of happy to wait till things feel right. Or just carry on on current path.

Edited July 29, 2018 by MJ5150_5150
Typo

[Becky_19]

I haven’t been in this situation before.

 

It’s pretty clear to me she still has feelings for you but maybe after all this time hasn’t forgiven you. It’s possible she feels like you may have abandoned her and entered another relationship in order to soothe those feelings. But for her to say that to you and kiss you I think it’s pretty poignant.

 

May I ask what your decisions are for going no contact. She may feel you are different people because she doesn’t feel close to you anymore? Grown apart etc? (I may be wrong I don’t know the specifics of your situation)

 

I’m probably a bit different than most on here, but if I was in your situation I wouldn’t go no contact. It’s tricky, because she is in a relationship and you don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s heartbreak. Though if she’s kissing you and telling you she doesn’t look at anyone else the way it was with you then it’s clear to me that she needs to end it with that guy.

 

You don’t have to take my advice, but if you do I’d like to know how it works out. I’ve struggled plenty with abandonment and it’s a deep wound to heal, if you really love her and want to have something with her in the future, I think you should throw no contact out of the window. Be open with her, communicate and let her know slowly and through actions that she can trust you. Ask her how it made her feel. Try to be empathetic and understand where she’s coming CD-from and she might be ready to open up to you. Hell, tell her that you have been single for a whole year and only want her. She might actually appreciate it?

[MJ5150_5150]

Thanks

 

Maybe NC was the wrong thing to say. I don’t want to cut her off. Just give her some space. The pulling away/ abandonment stuff was there before and I just want to be consistent with her about how i feel.

 

I feel totally clear headed and certain about everything now. Time on my own has helped so much to let go of stuff from before. At the end of the day. I am comfortable going on and meeting someone else. If that’s the way it plays out. If it feels right.

 

But also feel with her it is a really special & unique connection so would get back together if had the chance, knowing it would be have to be very different.

[Melrose78]

My concern though is she rebounded with u to a new guy. No time between. Than kisses u while still in the relationship. Does she potentially bounce from relationship to relationship for the security? I'm not saying close the door on it but I think u 2 would have a lot of work to do to make it work, if that's the path u both choose.