do women worry about wasting time with wrong guy?

[feather sneakers]

Especially women over 35 (my age range).

I enjoy the few dates I get, she may not be Ms Right, but I enjoy our time anyway.

 

Correct me (Please!) if I'm wrong, but I have a sense that 35+ women, stop dating a guy as soon as they know he's not Mr. Right. It's like they're in a race to find that guy. And they want an instant Mr. Right, they'll be no investing of much time.

[Gold Pile]

cool shoes.

 

Yes, I've met women who think time to find Mr. Right is running out.

I've met women who think time to meet anyone 1/2 way decent is running out.

 

But I've met others (mainly divorced) who want to take their time and "do it right, this time"

[johan]

My girlfriend is 35. She just wasted over three years with me.

 

I'm 35, and I wouldn't waste time with a woman I felt I had no future with. (At this time, that pretty much feels like all of them.) It's not that I'm on an aggressive search for Ms. Right. It's more that I don't have any time to spend with Ms. Wrong. It wouldn't be a real big deal except the more time you spend with them, the more complicated it gets.

[Cupcake]

I'm a women who isn't 35, but I don't want to waste time with MR Wrong because....why should I? Maybe you should enlighten me.

 

Dating is only fun when I'm dating men I connect with on various levels. Those kind of men are always potential MR Rights. In my experience, MR Wrong has always been a man whom I didn't connect with on any level. I most certainly don't want to continue dating a person like that. It's clearly a waste of time because I could be dating someone better.

 

As a woman whose goal is to get married and have a family, wasting time with MR Wrongs is unwise. The same as it would be for a person who wishes to have an education to never read, write, or attend school.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Yeah. So FYI to men: STOP WASTING OUR TIME! Our ovaries are begining to look like prunes.

[Woggle]

I use the wrong women as sex toys to be used. When I met the right woman I threw away my toys.

[RecordProducer]

Especially women over 35 (my age range).

I enjoy the few dates I get, she may not be Ms Right, but I enjoy our time anyway.

 

Correct me (Please!) if I'm wrong, but I have a sense that 35+ women, stop dating a guy as soon as they know he's not Mr. Right. It's like they're in a race to find that guy. And they want an instant Mr. Right, they'll be no investing of much time.

 

It depends whether the woman has and wants children. If she doesn't have any but wants them, why are you surprised that they want to get married and start a family? Do you realize that pregnancy is not recommended after age 40 as the best age for delivering your first baby? Besides these women don't want to be 55 when their kids are 15.

 

Moreover if they don't look for Mr. Right and spend years with every guy just because it feels good to be with them, they will never get married and have children. But even I - who already have two children - want to re-marry and spend the rest of my life with Mr. Right. I don't want to spend years dating the wrong guy, getting disappointed, and sleeping alone. I want a lifetime partner who will be dedicated to me and I to him.

 

Some people have set goals such as family, career, house, etc. Only 17-year olds have no cares in this world and the only things they pursue are fun, fun, and fun...

[FataMorgana]

IMO everyone should worry about spending long periods od time with the wrong person.

 

I guess you only learn this when you get older though ( 30+ or around there, depends on the person)

 

Also by then you have a much better idea what you are looking for in a person, which are the things that matter to you that the Right person needs to have or else no go. If you know straight away that they don't match your long term values, why would you "waste" and invest time with someone?.. unless you are only playing the field and are after toys as Woggle calls them.

[JS17]

I use the wrong women as sex toys to be used. When I met the right woman I threw away my toys.

 

That was beautiful. Your tenderness and compassion brings a tears to my eyes.

[RecordProducer]

That was beautiful. Your tenderness and compassion bring tears to my eyes.

 

:lmao:

[alphamale]

Correct me (Please!) if I'm wrong, but I have a sense that 35+ women, stop dating a guy as soon as they know he's not Mr. Right. It's like they're in a race to find that guy. And they want an instant Mr. Right, they'll be no investing of much time.

It really depends on what she is looking for F.S. If she is looking to get married and have kids then, yes, you are right. If she's just looking to have fun or date casually then women tend to be less stringent.

 

Since I'm 40 I've dated many women in the 30-45 age range and the ones that have already been married and have kids are much more relaxed. Many just want to go out and have a good time and some casual sex and get away from their routine and kids for a few hours.

[Cupcake]

Originally Posted by Woggle

I use the wrong women as sex toys to be used. When I met the right woman I threw away my toys.

 

Orgianlly posted by Johan

It wouldn't be a real big deal except the more time you spend with them, the more complicated it gets.

 

I agree with Johan. I've had several MR Rights who quickly became MR Wrongs because they couldn't get rid of the toy's. People are real. Treating them like toys will screw up their emotions, especially women. How does it feel when you are ready for the right person, then one of those toys chases the right person away? It's not easy to throw people away once you've become involved with them.

[RecordProducer]

Queen Elisabeth I ordered execution for the Scottish queen Mary Stewart. The reason was because she and her lover murdered Mary's husband. The real reason was because after that (and since) Scotland belongs to and is part of England.

 

However she was very reluctant to bring her final decision as she opened the door to a new trend - that emperors can be murdered by other emperors. So she kept her for more than 20 years locked in a tower before she was assassinated.

 

The reason why I am giving this example is to point out that people protect their own beliefs even when they practice reality on others. A man who treats women with disrespect has no respect for himself either. He pursues his own revenge, because he has been treated poorly by the same category of people or has seen a similar example in his early childhood.

 

If you can see another human being as a toy, you degrade your own existence. If you hurt women on purpose, you're frightened by them which makes you a petty, little crawling creature that is unable to grow from a defeat.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Wonderful example Record Producer! I totally agree!

 

People -- men AND women -- are not Kleenex.

[JS17]

People -- men AND women -- are not Kleenex.

 

What scares me is that I'm starting to think that most men are like Woggle using women left and right.

 

I think in general women take relationships more seriously. Some women are just looking to find the ONE. Many women know they will start to get attached to someone that isn't really right for them so they will dismiss someone who isn't instead of just enjoying the time together. And, if you take a look at the thread on the number of people someone has slept with, you see plenty of judgement on how many men a woman has slept with. I think the fear of judgement causes them to choose more carefully as well.

[alphamale]

I think in general women take relationships more seriously.

for many women, JS17, their success or self-worth is measured by the quality of their relationships. All their relationships, including family, friend, kids, and lovers. Men tend to measure their success or self-worth by their careers, salary and what they do.

[JS17]

for many women, JS17, their success or self-worth is measured by the quality of their relationships. All their relationships, including family, friend, kids, and lovers. Men tend to measure their success or self-worth by their careers, salary and what they do.

 

Interesting, simple, I never thought of it that way. I agree with you to the extent that you mean these aspects are higher up on the scale. I think that women measure their success by their careers, et al too but relationships rank higher. Vice versa for men.

 

Do you think that this is based on societal influence or genetic dispositions?

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Do you think that this is based on societal influence or genetic dispositions?

Unfortunately, both. Women are both wired to and reared to be in the role of the nurturer. For instance, women tend to work in the "caring professions" of teaching, health care, etc. The emotional parts of our brains are naturally more active than men -- there's scientific proof of that. It goes back to our cavewoman instinct to "keep the home fires burning" and nurture and raise our children.

 

Whereas men value status and career more highly, in part because of the caveman instinct to establish territory and rank within the clan, hunt and "bring home the bacon". His measure of success within the family unit is measured on his ability to father as many strong, fit, and intelligent children as possible -- which could account for why men are less likely to be instinctually wired to for monogamy. Monogamous males make a conscious choice to be faithful and resist the instict to "spread their seed".

[alphamale]

Do you think that this is based on societal influence or genetic dispositions?

Both, but I would add that I think the societal influence is based upon the genetic pre-disposition.

[RecordProducer]

Do you think that this is based on societal influence or genetic dispositions?

I think the hatred towards a certain group of people (the opposite gender, another race, another sexual preference) is encoded in our minds by our closest environment, but how we respond to it has to do with genetic predispositions. It's probably a result of a spiral influence of both interactive factors.

 

Sleeping with people and using them only for sex doesn't necessarily happen due to hostile or vindictive feelings; it's a part of modern society as well. But if you use terms like "I treat women as toys because they are worthless," there certainly is a problem in the man's mind. He sees women as enemies and wants to punish them for all the pain a certain woman has caused him - the woman who was supposed to play a huge role in his life and fulfill a vast space in his heart. But since she failed to do that, there is deep hole and emptiness in his heart. This person is emotionally defective.

 

It's not a coincidence that he fell for a much older (15 years) woman. She represents a mother figure in his life - all that he wanted to have and that was supposed to inbuilt tender emotions for women in his childhood. She is a surrogate for what he was lacking for so long. Unfortunately if she turns out to be a "bad mommy," he will become even more bitter and full of resentment.