adna89 Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 How often do you call your parents? and how often is enough? i have a husband who calls his mom when he remembers and every now and then she will call me and complain how he forgets his mother(and she and i are no friends either,i do not like her and she thinks the bad is behind us and we should be ok now lol) Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 I call my father once a week. We have a set time, so he doesn't have to "rush" for the phone (land-line) with his walker. In my opinion, once a week is enough. If my Dad needs something before our weekly call, he can call me. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 This is one of those things that really depend on the individuals involved and their preferences. I call mine a few times a week. I would honestly prefer once a week, but they are the parental equivalent of the overly-attached-girlfriend meme. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 In college & through my 30s I called my parents at least once per week & I would see them usually at least once every 2 months. As they got older into their 70s I called them daily & saw them at least once per week, probably daily in the last months of their lives. If you don't want these call from your MIL, encourage your husband to call her at least once per month. I probably talk to my MILs (I have 2) once a week. I make sure DH speaks to his mom at least once per month & his dad at least 3x per year. We go visit at least once per year because they are all a plane ride away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 It just depends on the people involved. I didn't want to be contacted very often by my parents. When they got older I tried to keep a better eye on them. My mother used to drive me crazy. If she called and couldn't get ahold of me she would just keep calling and keep calling. I was so glad when caller ID happened. There were periods when I got along with them and periods when one or both of them would be unreasonable. It was usually my mom who could be unpleasant, and I just wouldn't let her bully me. I really suggest you stop letting your mother-in-law put you in the middle. Just don't pick up. Call and check in maybe once a month, and don't let her pull information out of you about your man. Let him decide how to run that relationship. You can ask him what he wants you to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Before she died, I talked to my mother almost every single day. Now, I talk to my father a few times a week. My brother talks to my brother every 1-2 weeks. My boyfriend has a difficult relationship with his mother... He talks to her every few months. It depends on the people, it depends on the relationship. Having read some of your other posts, I'm not surprised that he doesn't call her more often. I'm also not surprised that she is complaining and trying to draw you into this conflict/split the two of you. A good rule of thumb, his relationship with his mother is HIS relationship. Stay out of it as much as you can... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 When she was alive I usually talked with my mother on the phone a couple times a week and we'd visit once a month or so while I was married, maybe a bit more prior. She never complained to my wife about anything. Not her style. Don't know what to tell you about that other than to direct her to H and, if she persisted, block her number and tell H why. Her stuff with him is their stuff and neither should be involving you. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 My Mom lives in another state 3 hrs away by herself and is in her 80's... I call her twice to 3 times a week, always on the drive home from work... The good thing is that she is building a house now in my city and will move here in a few months, she has lived in another state most of my adult life and I see her 3-5 times a year. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 My parents live 10 hours away. When I was young up to my to 30s I called my parents maybe once a week and I could skip a couple of weeks. Since I got my mom a cellular a few years back it has brought us so much closer, we text several times a day and I call her 3-4 times a week. Before cellular and FB it was hard to keep in touch often without disturbing our routine. Now I can text her all my little heart wants while I cook and do laundry. I have a drive of 30 mins when I come back from work and 3-4 times a week I will use that time to call her to chat nothing and everything. My BF has cut his tie with his mother he only has contact with his children. I don't get involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Mumsy? She calls me everyday. I always return the call if i miss it. It`s usually, but not always a pointless conversation. her various aliments, etc. Aunt Maggie has taken a turn for the worse.... Bill`s left Charlotte again..... `We we see you on the weekend?` (Always with a slight overtone of menace` But, she is my Mum. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Share Posted August 1, 2018 In college & through my 30s I called my parents at least once per week & I would see them usually at least once every 2 months. As they got older into their 70s I called them daily & saw them at least once per week, probably daily in the last months of their lives. If you don't want these call from your MIL, encourage your husband to call her at least once per month. I probably talk to my MILs (I have 2) once a week. I make sure DH speaks to his mom at least once per month & his dad at least 3x per year. We go visit at least once per year because they are all a plane ride away. Ohh he calls her once a week or at most 2 weeks,,,,so its not like that.But its too little for her obviously? she wants a call every other day i guess Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Dad passed some time ago...I speak to my mother at least every other day and visit at least once a week I also take care of many of her essential things that she needs help with.. I wouldn't have it any other way... TFY 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Ohh he calls her once a week or at most 2 weeks,,,,so its not like that.But its too little for her obviously? she wants a call every other day i guess Why does that sound foreign to you? A lot of people speak to their mom or dad each day. How old is she? As we age we realize how time flies and we better enjoy our love ones before we're too sick or too old to do so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) Why does that sound foreign to you? A lot of people speak to their mom or dad each day. How old is she? As we age we realize how time flies and we better enjoy our love ones before we're too sick or too old to do so. I know but mt husband does not.she has 4 kids only her daughter calls her every day...my husband said he feels no need to talk to her so why force him ? I do remind me him sometimes though.She would like to be closer but oh well..she had a strange posessive relation to her sons..she once said when you were long distance with your wife you called every day so why dont you call me too? Edited August 2, 2018 by adna89 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Ohh he calls her once a week or at most 2 weeks,,,,so its not like that.But its too little for her obviously? she wants a call every other day i guess Then just stay out of it. When you see it's her on caller id, let it go to VM. Especially since she has other children who give her attention just let her be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 Then just stay out of it. When you see it's her on caller id, let it go to VM. Especially since she has other children who give her attention just let her be. Exactly.she has 4 kids if everyone calls her once a week she will have someone 4 times a week..and she is not old ..only 59 full of life.its just her dominant nature and jealous nature that is the reason of this I will stop answering i should have before Link to post Share on other sites
Kirsty91 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 I'm quite close to my parents, my boyfriend not so much to his. I'm 27, he's 38, we have a 5y/o daughter. My mum is very intrusive but she is lovely so I can't complain, she constantly wants to babysit mine and my sisters children. My parents live 17 miles away so I've never had any issues finding babysitters (my mum!). I visit my parents most Sundays with my daughter. She used to call me every day after I left home, then it became every couple of days, then half a week, then weekly, then sometimes bi-weekly. We love each other to bits. But I have my life to pursue some of which certain things I don't want to talk or accidentally slip to her about in case it upsets her. I'm like her immaculate innocent golden angel which I'd just die if she (and my dad) knew some of the things I've done in my time it would probably just destroy them. We get on really well though. Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I call my mom every few days. Sometimes, every day! Well that was when she nearly lost her life from a sepsis infection. So I am out of the normal realm. My mom is alone so I really like to check up on her often. We are really close so we always have something to talk about 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I'm quite close to my parents, my boyfriend not so much to his. I'm 27, he's 38, we have a 5y/o daughter. My mum is very intrusive but she is lovely so I can't complain, she constantly wants to babysit mine and my sisters children. My parents live 17 miles away so I've never had any issues finding babysitters (my mum!). I visit my parents most Sundays with my daughter. She used to call me every day after I left home, then it became every couple of days, then half a week, then weekly, then sometimes bi-weekly. We love each other to bits. But I have my life to pursue some of which certain things I don't want to talk or accidentally slip to her about in case it upsets her. I'm like her immaculate innocent golden angel which I'd just die if she (and my dad) knew some of the things I've done in my time it would probably just destroy them. We get on really well though. Just curious. When you visit your Mum. Do you want your husband to go with you to socialize with her as well. Or you don't care? Link to post Share on other sites
Kirsty91 Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 Just curious. When you visit your Mum. Do you want your husband to go with you to socialize with her as well. Or you don't care? Its his choice, he's not all that bothered about going. Sometimes he goes with me. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnlaurel Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 I text my mom on the daily. I used to call her everyday but it got to the point I couldn't get off the phoone with her. Another thing that would bother me is she would put me off or hurry off of the phone if someone of more value called her. Now she gets text and if she needs anything she can let me know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 Mum - daily. We also have a viber "famly" group where mum, dad and my brother will chat and exchange pics daily too. When I lived in another state, I used to visit every 2-3 months. Now we all live within 15 minute drive of each other agian 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 I call mom weekly and talk for about five to ten minutes at most as she's usually very busy and trying to get off the phone even though we talk about her stuff mainly. She got married to her third husband approx two years ago. When they were dating (on the dl for a year) she had no time to talk with me and I cried and cried because I thought I'd lost my mother. I would call her and she'd get me off the phone as fast as possible (within a couple of minutes, sometimes as little as thirty to sixty seconds) as she (unbeknownst to me) wanted to be on the phone with her LD bf. Now that they are married and share a home she has a little more time to talk. And thankfully, I haven't lost my mom! She is 90. She just fractured her back while chasing a bird so has a little more time to talk since she is not moving around as much. But, she is determined to get up and going asap! She is an amazing and determined woman! Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 My mom and I chat most of the time, like every day throughout the whole day. Call every second day. My dad calls me 2-3 times a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 I email them. My mom that is, rarely my dad. They're still together and she updates him on what I am doing. But they live a mile away as well. When I was away at college I called twice a week, once on Wednesday and on Sunday nights, but that was in the mid / late 90s and that was the only means of communication at the time. Otherwise we are tight and have a good relationship as adults now. We went through all the teenager / kid stuff and now we keep a respectable distance from one another. It can be somewhat distant at the time, but they have learned to stay out of my business as I stay out of theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
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