alistoga Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) So the past couple of weeks I've been working with celebrities, directly and indirectly. They live lives of luxury that even the average person who is steeped in celebrity culture doesn't quite understand. I'm only privy to a small portion of their lifestyle and the ups and downs are pretty amazing. Then I realized, even though I'm not a celebrity, I'm treated in the same way albeit to a much lesser degree. For example, celebrities are constantly barraged with requests for photos, autographs, but also for dates, guest appearances, speeches, not to mention requests for cold hard cash. In the past couple of weeks, my company has been contracting with another company that has a majority of female employees. These women are completely shameless. They are constantly touching or trying to touch me sexually in an "oops, I'm so clumsy" kind of a way. Yeah, they actually say that. They are constantly distracted from their own work and chat me up which interrupts my work flow as well. They ask for pictures with me over and over again. Others just take my picture without asking. Their conversations are often littered with sexual inuendo, endless sarcasm and provocations. I, of course, can say nothing except to take it all with a smile. Who is going to take my claims that I am being touched in an unwanted fashion seriously? How many would take my claims that the conversations make for an uncomfortable and hostile working environment? But it really is a position similar to being a celebrity. You are constantly hounded for your time, for a conversation, for photos, dates, and you are expected to endure endless verbal jabs and insults, well, just because. As you might imagine, celebrities take enormous pains to ensure their safety, primarily through avoidance and by hiring security. I can't hire personal security, so I am going to have to find a way to maintain boundaries, but also to manage my stress dealing with people who are constantly looking for sex, dates, your time, a conversation, etc., which quite frankly, in a significant percentage of cases, I find totally unpalatable. I'll figure out a way soon enough. Edited August 2, 2018 by alistoga Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 In a work environment if you are being harassed, speak up. Say something. Tell the aggressor to stop. That was always part of the problem underlying the #MeToo movement; people thought they had to put up with this & were not allowed to say no. If you are the boss, go to the other company & get those offensive employees reassigned. If you are a worker, go to your boss & speak up. Work time is for work, not dodging other people's unwanted sexual advances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 If you are in Los Angeles I'm not surprised. The women are very aggressive when it comes to a man they want. I tell people don't move there with your husband unless you are in a rock solid relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Pretty similar to music groupies banging the roadies or band to get backstage with the male lead. Sex is a currency as is money and power. If you have a female manager, she can be tasked to be present at any meetings or interactions. Decline any interactions which don't meet your requirements. Normal in business. We ran into the same problems in blue collar businesses with lawsuits against male owners or principals, either directly or due to male/female worker interaction in the workplace. And, yeah, it revolved around sex, or convincing stories regarding it. Watch your back. For some, it can be using you to get to the celebrity or setting you up for a cash grab. There's always an angle and time reveals all truths. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 I've been in a similar position working with musicians. You have to be really careful about taking on new friends, because I'm sure it's obvious to you by now that all these people want something, namely access or perks, which you have access to. Once you're out, they scatter like flies. Even other people in the business will suck up to you if they think it will help their enterprise any. It gets old after awhile that people just eventually only want something from you. If you don't want them touching on you, tell them the first time they do that. Smile and try to say privately to them, "Don't do that." If they keep it up, say it where others can hear, especially their boss or coworkers. It should only become a problem if someone with power over your position, whether client or coworker, does it and you feel if you reject them, there will be negative consequences. So do what you feel like in that situation. You can embarrass them right when they do it and take your chances they won't just fire you, saying, "DID YOU JUST TOUCH MY BUTT, HOLLY?" You have to tell them once before you report it unless it's just really something over the top that anyone would find unacceptable like grabbing your junk. Women have had to deal with this for centuries. Welcome to the "Me Too" club. Also, you should know that someone may pay someone to come on to you and make you feel important for their own gain. Happened all the time in the record business. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 I don't see why people wouldn't believe you. When you say it's your company, do you mean that you own it? If you do, speak to the head of the company which employs the women and explain that their behaviour is disruptive etc etc and making your job untenable. Tell the boss of the other company that you need it addressed. But first things first, start documenting each incident. And don't be afraid to tell the women that their constant interruptions are unwelcome. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 You can easily say in a kind way, "Please don't touch me." Or even, "Don't touch me." It can be said in a regular voice tone or a little lower (quieter). Once you begin to do this you'll find it's easy to do and folks will respect you for it. And most of the time the person won't touch you again. Link to post Share on other sites
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