blackandwhite77 Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) Hello peep, I was in a relationship with a guy say S since 2016 and before i met S, My FWB guy, T was just a friend by then. As days passed by with S, i figured out i was less important to him and that his family was much more his priority. While T was always there for me. I eventually got very close with T and thats how we became FWBs. T knew i was still with S and he would feel bad about it cause he loves me dearly. I used to feel [badly] cause when i spent time with S, I'd have sex with him which i call making love( He wasnt that great in bead though) and when S wasn't around, i used to have immense and real intimate love with T. T used to really make me feel great not just in bed but also as a person, he would care and love me. While S would just jerk off on me and its done. If S couldn't make up to me, he would just ask me for nude pictures. Which i don't like doing but i had no option but send him nudes. Eventually, early this year 2018 me and S broke up cause he wouldn't give me time at all and his family is his everything. He would just meet me up for sex once in a week and i felt like I'm just his bitch! At this time, T was back to his hometown and i decided to be with T for real and that i regret that i should have done this long time back. Just few days back, T confessed to me that he is in a relationship with a girl in the US (They just video call. They didn't meet yet). So yeah, he told me he's dating but he said, he would come back for me and that nothing would change between us. I felt really bad. I was hurt ALOT that i ever thought i would feel. He's come back soon and he's going to stay in the same place as mine. I told him that i don't want him to be unfair with his GF like what i did to my relationship with S and I asked T to forget everything we had but he says he can't. He says we won't have sex and stuff but he wants to remain "Just friends" with me but i just cannot since i have so much memories with T. I really thought i would have a better life with T but i guess its not me. He doesn't deserve someone like me who's with 2 guys. I don't know how he could tolerate all the pain when i was with S and him the same time.. But i cannot be him. It's very hard for me. Now guys please help me in what to do next. I feel horrible.. I'm literally crying everyday for T cause i never expected he'd do that to me. Please give me advises on what to do and how to get out of this struggle I'm going through. :(:( Thanks in advance Edited August 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 So S was married with children and had a family? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Have your grieving time, forget about them and go forward having learned your lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 So S was married with children and had a family? Nope! S is not married and no kids. Thank god LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 Have your grieving time, forget about them and go forward having learned your lesson. Do you think that's the best? T will be coming back from home town in 6 days and live at my apartment! Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 Black and white, I got that impression because you kept mentioning about family... How old are you guys? Unfortunately, in this life the dirt that you put out comes back on you in the end. I would follow up on the above posters advice because this guy T doesn’t think you’re a woman he would want to marry. You’re just a good time girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 Black and white, I got that impression because you kept mentioning about family... How old are you guys? Unfortunately, in this life the dirt that you put out comes back on you in the end. I would follow up on the above posters advice because this guy T doesn’t think you’re a woman he would want to marry. You’re just a good time girl I meant S's mom and sisters and nieces. S is 24, I'm 23 and T is 25. Yes I believe it karma happening to me. But, I just never wanted it the way the universe think about me.. I mean, I just wanted to be S's priority or at least spend some quality time with me which he couldn't and which T would totally do it. T wanted to even have kids with me and he always told me that. But now since he confessed to me about his girl, I don't know what to do.. He's gonna be here from home town after few days and I'm not sure if I should continue what we had before ( which I really don't wanna do cause I love him and care for him but I'm hurted!) or if I should just let him to fair to his girl and not touch me. (That will be hard for the both of us cause he's gonna stay at my apartment when he's back from his home country.. And he doesn't want to end it between us!) Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 What are country are you in? It sounds as though T is using you for somewhere to stay and someone to hook up with... If he really loved you he would have made you his girlfriend and not started a relationship with another girl. You should be angry Blackandwhite Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 I'm in UAE. I felt the same thing.. i somehow feel he's coming here cause i would take up his expenses by paying the rent and groceries. I actually promised him that i would before i knew about his girl. Now since i've known i don't know what to do.. He keeps telling me we would remain friends and no more of benefits and he's asking me to help him out find a job since he's coming on a visit visa.. he says it would help him reach US. I first told him i would help.. but now I'm just shattered. I think i made him wait too long for him to accept me as his girl and he just had to find someone.. I'm actually really very angry with him.. he knows it but he wants me to act normal about it. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 Stop being a pushover and tell him to screw off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Blackandwhite, If T really loved you, he would have been waiting for you. He chose a girl he has never met instead of you. He never loved you. He played you. You should have given S a chance instead of being annoyed that he was family orientated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 Stop being a pushover and tell him to screw off. Thanks for that.. I guess i should Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 Blackandwhite, If T really loved you, he would have been waiting for you. He chose a girl he has never met instead of you. He never loved you. He played you. You should have given S a chance instead of being annoyed that he was family orientated. Okay, He met that girl like years back in high school and never after that.. Yeah he never did is what i feel now. Ive given a billion of chances to S but it would just go on and on with his fam which just went out of limits.. It wasnt tolerable anymore.. I looked like trash to him at the end. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Blackandwhite, Have you tried contacting S and tried to get on good terms with him again? Why does he think you’re trash? Because you cheated on him? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Tell T to make other living arrangements. It's over. The healthiest thing to do is go NC and move on.....start fresh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 Blackandwhite, Have you tried contacting S and tried to get on good terms with him again? Why does he think you’re trash? Because you cheated on him? Yes we were in good terms.. for like 6 months after our breakup. We still met and... Umm.. we had sex too! Actually our mutual friends always had a doubt on me and T but never found a solid proof. So was S very insecure of T. But after my break up with S everything was still fine cause T is back to his hometown like i said? Now that S knows that T is coming back to UAE, S fought with me just 2 weeks back stating that T is coming for me and that me and T had something before. He's mad at me and blocked me. But again, no one has a solid proof that I cheated S! not even S.. but they all have doubts on me and T. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 Tell T to make other living arrangements. It's over. The healthiest thing to do is go NC and move on.....start fresh. Yeah, I planning to move out from my place ! I've messed up so bad ! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 As an FWB, you can't expect T to be faithful. So you have to just accept that was never a love thing, although he treated you okay. You do not have to let him stay at your place. (by the way, you never have to send nudes to anyone for any reason and you shouldn't). You started off as FWB with T and he knows you cheat on your BF, so he's not likely to be exclusive with you, even after he runs through this latest woman, so don't do favors for him. I just think you need to dump both of them and start fresh having learned some lessons about how the way you start off with men kind of defines the rest of the relationship. Love doesn't make them treat you better if they know they can get away with treating you worse. And yes, they mark you down when they know you are cheating. Nothing can erase that in their minds. So just think about everything. Maybe make a set of requirements from men and some rules and boundaries for yourself (don't date men who ask for nude photos might be one) and wait for one to come along who you feel like being faithful to and then try to have a good relationship. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackandwhite77 Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 As an FWB, you can't expect T to be faithful. So you have to just accept that was never a love thing, although he treated you okay. You do not have to let him stay at your place. (by the way, you never have to send nudes to anyone for any reason and you shouldn't). You started off as FWB with T and he knows you cheat on your BF, so he's not likely to be exclusive with you, even after he runs through this latest woman, so don't do favors for him. I just think you need to dump both of them and start fresh having learned some lessons about how the way you start off with men kind of defines the rest of the relationship. Love doesn't make them treat you better if they know they can get away with treating you worse. And yes, they mark you down when they know you are cheating. Nothing can erase that in their minds. So just think about everything. Maybe make a set of requirements from men and some rules and boundaries for yourself (don't date men who ask for nude photos might be one) and wait for one to come along who you feel like being faithful to and then try to have a good relationship. Good luck. Hey.. Yes, I know I shouldn't be expecting anything true from T but that's how he treated me from the very first time.. He would make me dream about marriage and kids willith him but it all shattered when he told me about the new girl he's dating who's in the US. I can't push him out of the apartment cause my owner is his good friend. I asked him to even come to this country by he says he wants to and wants to love in the same apartment so I guess I should make a move from moving out. I don't how how to explain this feeling but I really love S so much but there are things he couldn't make it to me which T did and that's why maybe I loved T too. It sounds funny to fall in love with 2 guys at the same time and now none of them matter.. I hope I don't look like a whore in here. I never knew this kind of thing would ever even happen to me! :(7 Link to post Share on other sites
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