hippychick3 Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Well they say if you truly love someone you always love them, even if you guys break up because of cheating. If he loved her at all, even before I came in the picture, he’ll still be trying to keep in contact with her. He wouldn’t be going two months without talking to her. What’s gonna stop him from doing to me what he did to her is the love he actually has for me. His love for her wasn’t real. Cheating has nothing to do with love. It is a character trait. A cheater will cheat on anyone (as he has already proven by attempting to have sex with his ex while with you). You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I know you won't listen to any of the advice given to you here, but I will still tell you that you should never ever trust a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Adiron Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Wouldn’t you talk to someone you love or loved as much as you can? Or is that not the case? He talks to me everyday. If it was his choice he'd talk to her every day and if given the opportunity he'd insert his penis into her vagina. She refuses to speak to him and she refuses to allow him to insert his penis into her vagina, therefore it has not happened. It doesn't change the way he feels, it only changes the results. You can put out a fire with water but the coals are still hot and simmering. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Okay, can you explain to me your view of what love is, because everytime I mention how he hasn’t talked to her in two months, somehow you and others still say it doesn’t change the fact that he still loves her or loved her? Wouldn’t you talk to someone you love or loved as much as you can? Or is that not the case? He talks to me everyday. Damn, girl. You are stuck on the ex and defending that side of the argument (not much strength behind the argument but i digress) when anyone with sense will understand that his cheating nature means it is highly likely that he will betray you in "some" way. Not a victory that he is not talking to the ex. He could be thinking about her and be back in touch at some point when things with you are rocky. But more than likely he will get bored or annoyed by you and tempted by someone new. Jumping to someone else, that's what you need to worry about. And it's a very real worry with his history. So, no, not the case. His history is a part of his character and patterns usually repeat. Don't get hung up on the WHO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Well they say if you truly love someone you always love them, even if you guys break up because of cheating. If he loved her at all, even before I came in the picture, he’ll still be trying to keep in contact with her. He wouldn’t be going two months without talking to her. What’s gonna stop him from doing to me what he did to her is the love he actually has for me. His love for her wasn’t real. He's still probably bugging this poor girl but you just don't know about it. If he was hitting her up for sex he obviously misses it with her. It doesn't sound like you are worried about any of this as you seem sure he's head over heels for you. I just wonder why are you writing a thread about his ex if you feel he no longer wants her? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 How is she the woman he really wants to make love too and be with in that way and I’m just the safety blanket if he’s still with me and never left me. Because men like sex and having someone around to have sex with even if you can't have sex with the one you want. There's an old song "If you can't be with the one you love then love the one you're with". I think this applies to your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 OP, I hope you have some very sympathetic family back home you can return to when this guy breaks your heart and bails. Not if. When. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 He didn’t propose, but we did move to Missouri and now we have an apartment together. He surprised me with a little cute car. I drove one car and he drove another to transport our things to Missouri. Everything is good. He trust me, I even have is social security number. He recently made us his profile picture on Facebook and I did the same thing. He hasn’t spoken to his ex in two months now. I noticed he may like a picture or watch her Instagram story but nothing Beyond that. I think we’re making progress. He’s finally realizing I’m where he wants to be and who he wants to be with. Some people just don't use the good sense that God gave them. He bought you a car and hasn't propositioned another woman for sex for two months, it definitely sounds like things are really working out for you! That is progress... (I'm being sarcastic). I too hope that you have people with good sense around you to help you out when this falls apart... because it will fall apart. And, you need help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) After not texting his ex for months I came across some messages he sent her the other day. He was asking her for nudes he told her he missed her vagina and he sent her a picture of his penis asking her if she wanted that to be inside of her again and the conversation wasn’t only sexual. She mentioned how she hadn’t been seeing him at Church and he told her he didn’t live where he used to live anymore instead of just saying he moved to Missouri with me. He also got kind of happy and turned on by the thought of her actually looking for him in church because he texted her And said “So you were looking for me” he also had asked her what she was doing and she told him that she was going to breakfast with a friend and he joked and told her to bring him some food back and she played along and told him to send her his address and he just said ok but slickly added in that he was gonna eat her vagina as well when she dropped the food off. From the messages she laughed it off and told him he can do that with a bunch of girls bc no girl is gonna turn down oral sex and he said “hell no lol. I just want to do that with you.” I remember the messages so well because I’m hurt and I really believed he cared for me more But we’re all the way in Missouri she’s in Chicago maybe I can talk to him about all this and how it’s making me feel. Edited July 26, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 If your best female friend was in a relationship with a guy who was sexually flirting with his ex, sending her dick pics, and giving some pretty strong indications that he would rather be with the ex, what would you recommend that she do? Therein lies the solution to your own situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 Pack his bags and send him back to her! Show him what you read and tell him you don't tolerate disrespect then break up with him. He wants her! How much clearer does this have to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 No, you're not in too deep. You can leave him. You will miss him for a while but you'll move on to a better life. Your choice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 I mean, you can talk to him until you're blue in the face but based on your previous threads, he is not going to care and is not going to change. Based on your previous threads, I also unfortunately know that you're going to make all kinds of excuses for him and talk yourself into staying with this clown. It's sad to read. You deserve so much more. But you don't believe it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 Talking to him about it will not erase his desires for her. They are pretty intense which means there is no real room for him to truly care about you...you are in denial. I know this is harsh but you need to hear it...he's doing it because she excites him and you don't. Whatever reason he is with you could be many things, like stability, financial reasons, convenience, ...... you deserve way better than this. Why don't you listen to us? you keep frickin coming here with the same problem. It won't go away unless you get rid of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 maybe I can talk to him about all this and how it’s making me feel. Sure you can talk to him about how you feel but you're wasting your time. He clearly doesn't care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 maybe I can talk to him about all this and how it’s making me feel. And? what will that accomplish? You hope he'll say he didn't mean it and you're the one he loves? Please pinch yourself you need to wake up. Destini: You are not too deep into it to get away, the mafia would be too deep to get out of it, this is a man that disrespects you every day the sun gets up. Tell him it's over. You'll survive, you'll move on and you'll forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 You are 19 years old. Just move home already. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Purrrfect Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 You are not In too deep. You are young. Not married. No kids. Your BF is not into this relationship like you are. Those texts are beyond inappropriate and a dealbreaker. End the relationship and go back to normalcy in your life 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 How is your relationship with your family? Are you stuck with him because they won't let you come back? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 Don't waste your time talking to him... I'm sorry, but he doesn't care how you feel. If he cared how you felt, he wouldn't be chasing his ex... You are not in too deep. You are young and you are not married, have no children, no real commitment to this relationship. Just move home or go stay with a friend for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 I thought about telling him but just don’t know how to approach it. I was going through his phone and I did again just to see if there has been anymore conversation between the two of them and the last message was sent by her on last Friday responding to a text from him but he hasn’t responded. That’s sort of a good sign, or for all I know he could just be waiting for her initiate texting him first. He posted me on national girlfriend day and I’m sure she saw it, they’re friends on Facebook, but after telling my friend about everything she doesn’t think posting me was good because now in a way his ex has a upper hand because she now knows he’s “playing” me in a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) I still want to leave or maybe even take a break but I don’t know how to confront him about it. I was snooping through his phone. I went through his phone again just to see if there has been anymore conversation between the two of them and the last message was sent by her on last Friday responding to a text from him but he hasn’t responded. That’s sort of a good sign, but not good enough or for all I know he could just be waiting for her initiate texting him first. He posted me on national girlfriend day and I’m sure she saw it, they’re friends on Facebook, but after telling my friend about everything she doesn’t think posting me was good because now in a way his ex has a upper hand because she now knows he’s “playing” me in a way. Edited August 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs, merge threads, update title Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 You can't change anyone mind because they have to be the one to change. Changing is very hard to do. This sort of drama you have here isn't that common. Once they know what's going on and have the upper hand then nothing will ever change for the good. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) This dude [] is never going to change. Move home to your family, OP. Edited August 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged threads Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 What is the use of confronting him?? You don't need to talk to him. He lied to you enough why give him another opportunity to put you to sleep with his stories? You have a mom somewhere? Call her and tell her you want to come home!! Pack your things and leave while he's at work. Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 Haven't been to this thread for a while .... .... is this still playing out? Geesh, girl, you need to dump his ass. He'll dump you eventually, so what's the point of enduring all this drama over months, just wasting your precious time. Grow a pair, love yourself, take care of yourself. What you're doing right now is a waste of time and self-destruction, through and through. Link to post Share on other sites
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