mtnlaurel Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 In the honeymoon phase of a relationship I enjoy all the kissing hugging and other that goes along with being intimate. It's been 3 years and while I love the sex, I've don't get lovey dovey like I used to(not much kissing). My partner feels rejected. I feel like a failure. This is recurring and I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 Compromise. Hug & kiss your partner more then you prefer but less than that person wants. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 It's natural for a lot of people to feel less excited outside of the honeymoon phase, that's why it's a thing. It's almost impossible to maintain the same level of excitement forever, but there are things you can do to try and keep some sparks in your relationship. When it's no longer natural to be thrilled about every little thing, you have to make a conscious effort to have some date nights once in a while where you pay special attention to each other, or to try new things (go on adventures together?) that help stimulate excitement. Some people also find that taking small breaks from each other (like if one of you goes off to see your parents for a couple days alone) helps make them more excited to see each other again when they get back. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 Others have already mentioned the common things, but there could be more. Are you the man or the woman in the relationship?,...I cannot tell by the username. I'm guessing you are the woman but I need the proper perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 My wife and I have slept together in the same bed for the many decades of our marriage. Except for the times we accidentally bump into each other we rarely touch each other. She has rarely reached over to intentionally touch me or rub my body. I used to reach over to rub her shoulder or back (sometimes the front), and she seemed to enjoy it, but with no reciprocation I gave up. Don't let this happen to you. Recently I have detected a slight uptick in her affection. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 We need more details. Are you M or F? How old are you? Do you live together? Any new stress in the relationship? Are you still in love? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnlaurel Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 41 f. I am still in love and he must be too. We both have our own homes but he stays with me most of the time. I have a 6 year old that is pretty demanding so I'm sure that has a bit to do with my distance. Recently I had dreams of him and was attempting to spice things up by texting him about it if you know what I mean. This is the point that he decided to tell me of his concern for my lack of affection. I was very upset by this because I felt like I was trying only to be slapped down. I must mention he is way older than I am and that he hasn't had any long term relationships other than ours. The one thing we do have going is we are hot heads but we both cool off quick. We had a fight about things last night and I let alot of things I had been holding onto out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 This is the point that he decided to tell me of his concern for my lack of affection. I was very upset by this because I felt like I was trying only to be slapped down. As a relationship develops, love changes from a feeling, a noun, and becomes a verb, a set of actions. Perhaps a loss of momentum in this area is what your BF is highlighting? Don't let him off the hook for his part either... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 41 f. I am still in love and he must be too. We both have our own homes but he stays with me most of the time. I have a 6 year old that is pretty demanding so I'm sure that has a bit to do with my distance. Recently I had dreams of him and was attempting to spice things up by texting him about it if you know what I mean. This is the point that he decided to tell me of his concern for my lack of affection. I was very upset by this because I felt like I was trying only to be slapped down. I must mention he is way older than I am and that he hasn't had any long term relationships other than ours. The one thing we do have going is we are hot heads but we both cool off quick. We had a fight about things last night and I let alot of things I had been holding onto out. What does "way older" mean? How long has his relationships been? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnlaurel Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 What does "way older" mean? How long has his relationships been? 13 years difference and we have been together almost 3 years. We talked about it together yesterday. I realize I haven't really lost interest. It's just harder for me to show much emotion unless I put forth the effort. He apologized and so did I. Link to post Share on other sites
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