Going out alone

[FMW]

That's a great start! Now you know you can do it and don't have to be nervous when the urge to get out hits.

 

Yes, unwanted attention is a downside to being out alone. Being open and friendly attracts men you don't want as well as ones you do. You just have to learn how to turn the attention away nicely.

 

Some situations, like the one you described, can't be avoided though, it would have been rude to refuse to share your table when available seating options were minimal.

 

If you aren't interested, don't text the guy, you're under no obligation. I actually don't share my number with anyone I'm not interested in. It can be a little awkward, but I just say I don't give out my number until I know someone better. Most guys seem to take that ok, at least to my face!

[snowboy91]

I went out on my own yesterday, to the jazz bar I've mentioned before. But I didn't get a chance to be alone, maybe the first 20 minutes and then a couples of guys approached and asked if they can share my table (that place has very few tables Hehe). So I ended up talking to them the whole evening. One of them left me his number. But I'm not sure if I'm gonna text him, wasn't really my type. I kinda felt like talking to them made me unavailable for any other attention! And it would have been a bit awkward for me to leave the table and go stand in the crowd, the place is pretty small and it would have been so obvious.

 

The only way you are going to know if he isn't your type is if he sits with you at your table. Even though you're not interested, I'd still call the night a success. Maybe try it again another night, or a different location.

[alphamale]

I went out on my own yesterday, to the jazz bar I've mentioned before. But I didn't get a chance to be alone, maybe the first 20 minutes and then a couples of guys approached and asked if they can share my table (that place has very few tables Hehe). So I ended up talking to them the whole evening. One of them left me his number. But I'm not sure if I'm gonna text him, wasn't really my type. I kinda felt like talking to them made me unavailable for any other attention! And it would have been a bit awkward for me to leave the table and go stand in the crowd, the place is pretty small and it would have been so obvious.

 

overall I would say the night was a success

[Lorenza]

Thanks guys.

I think I'm just gonna stay at the bar the next time. That way I won't get trapped by whoever is gonna share my table

[alphamale]

Thanks guys.

I think I'm just gonna stay at the bar the next time. That way I won't get trapped by whoever is gonna share my table

 

yea sitting at the bar is the way to go, it's much more flexible

[Malin889]

Dude here. I'll give my stats so as to inform my opinion:

 

46

US Based

Professional

Divorced father of 2 daughters

 

Absolutely you should do it. As I travel a bunch I spend a lot of time in bars, restaurants, museums, festivals etc... When I see a woman out alone I don't think anything of it. But if I had to actually think about it, I would say that I would be inclined to think of her as independent and a woman who knows what she wants and goes and gets it. Kinda the opposite of pathetic or desperate actually. Also, I am far more inclined to approach women by themselves instead of with a group of friends. It is just my perspective but if I am going to strike up a conversation with a lady I would want it to be a real conversation and if she's with a group of friends that somehow feels like I am intruding on her fun. Does that make sense?

 

Suggestions:

1. It sounds like you are already on this but go to places where people you would want to meet are likely to go.

2. Go to places where you can have a conversation.

3. Avoid "nightlife" party places.

4. Maybe trend upscale a bit?

5. Bring a book. A lady reading a book at a nice bar is pretty cool and it give me a way to strike up a conversation - tell me about the book you're reading. A woman nose down in a phone is a turnoff.

6. If you see a guy you want to meet, make eye contact and smile. If you don't some guys might conclude that you're the bartender's girlfriend or are traveling on business and want to be left alone.

7. Museum cafes are good places too.

8. Lunch and dinner is better than late at night.

9. Dress up a bit. Not a ton but just enough. A well dressed/groomed woman to me says confidence and high value - someone I am far more likely to want to meet.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Mrin

 

I wish more men would approach me when I go out! :-)

[AnnaHoll]

I'm never scared to go out alone, get to know people and make new relationships. It's always interesting and exciting.