Should i move in with the "ex"?

[klandes]

Some of you might know my situation from previous posts, but anyway - here's the story right now :

 

I've been seeing this new guy for about 2 months, and we're pretty into each other, however he seems to be taken things a bit serious, i just wanna take it a step at a time, he's introduced me to all his buddies, his family, colleagues, etc.. I ended a long term relationship in may and have kept in contact with the "ex", and the new guy is aware of this, since he, himself still hangs out with his ex girlfriends, i figured it's ok.

 

We're both honest to each other and we know where we stand. Anyways, summer is over, and i go back to the city (NYC) 3 hrs away from him, and i just don't see how we can work around it, he insists he will visit and make everything possible to hold what we have... i'm just being realistic and with low expectations having experienced it in the past. This also means fun is over and i have to get back to reality - rent, school, bills and starvation. Money is an issue in this city, and since i have had no time to browse for apartments, i'm pretty much homeless. Here is where everything just gets even more complicated, my ex has offered me a room to stay in for the time being, 400 monthly, all included, and a damn great deal for this city. 6 other people live here as well, it's a huge loft to share. I haven't made a final decision yet, but I would stay here until oct 1st, which is when people tend to have rooms available again.

 

I need major help, i start school on tuesday and i'm gonna have to crash at his pad. I just don't know how to tell my guy about this, he's obviously not gonna like this idea, because i wouldn't like it either. i really wanna work this out with him, i might be falling for this guy, but my main interest is school and making it in this city the most economical way possible. What do i do? do i tell him about it and will he break it off if i go ahead with it? do i ask him for a time off... i don't know. Or should i not tell him until i find a place.. please advise i have to make up my mind by tomorrow night, or my room will be taken.

[RecordProducer]

If you think he won't find out about it then don't tell him. Why complicate your life even more? If he wans to visit just tell him that the other people don't allow visits and that you agreed to it as it's just temporarily.

You're not obligated to report every step you take in your life, you know.

 

If you decide to tell him, just stress out that you had no choice and you will have little contact with your ex. He is supposed to trust you esepcially if he believes that you have no feelings left for your ex.

[kgal]

Honesty is the best policy! Don't start any new relationship with a lie or hide anything that may become a problem later. If he really wants something w/you, he will understand. He may be shocked at first.. but its reality! Good Luck!!

[Kengne]

Whatever you decide, please tell ur current guy about it!!!

 

Honesty IS the best policy! Just don't expect him to be jumping for joy about the situation, and be prepared to defend your position to him cuz he WILL have 1001 questions as to WHY you have to move in with HIM! Logically it makes sense i.e. it's cost efficient etc... but often times when dealing with matters of the heart logic flies out the window.

 

Good luck!

 

K.

[Spectre]

I'm sorry but if you had any respect for this guy ur dating you wouldnt move in with an ex bf, I find it incredibly hard to believe that is your ONLY option, stay with your bf for a few days if you have to, moving in with an ex is a BAD idea and will only end bad, I can only imagine a guy not caring about it only if he didnt care much about the current relationship, but if my gf wanted to move in with her ex..well I'd be saying goodbye REAL quick, thats a no no

 

and especially if you move in and DONT tell him? wow..then you dont care about him one single bit