I don’t know about her

[CoolJ]

I have a Friend that I’ve had for years. We are kinda more than friends now. Only we aren’t officially a couple. The only thing stopping me is how childish she can be. And my parents are always telling me to be careful with her. Because I’ve told them how she can be. She comes over at night to see me when they’re asleep. We stay up all night to cuddle and watch movies. She knows we aren’t officially together but she gets super upset if we aren’t together every second and everyday. It’s really hard for me right now because I had to leave the country for 10 months to take care of my sick grandfather who eventually passed. I lost a very good job in the process and now, I don’t have one. So I’m trying to get myself together. And a relationship is the last thing on my mind right now. But then it’s like my heart speaks and I can’t he’ll but have her in my life. My mind says not right now and my heart can’t help it.

 

We text most days but not everyday we may go a day or two without talking. That bugs her too. She keeps asking me if I have someone else and I do not. Honestly I dont. She sayS if I do please tell her now so she can leave. I told her I would’ve told her if I did. Since we aren’t together I try and keep it as “casual” as possible. But I DO get annoyed if I’m around her late night and her phone goes off with a text message. And I question her about it and she does the same to me. We both agree there’s no one else.

 

We slept together Monday and we both really enjoyed it. We watched movies after we slept together and then slept together again. I felt way closer to her after she went home. Like closer than I wanted. Before she left I told her to text me when she makes it home. She didn’t. But she texted me the next day asking why I didn’t check on her. I told her that I figured everything was good because she never said anything. Yesterday she texted me asking “Did you figure out a day we can have sex again?” Idk why but it annoyed me that she asked me to have sex instead of saying hang out. She called me because she could sense my attitude. I told her that she could’ve said hang out and she said that it’s not that big of deal. She then started saying I have someone else ..... I told her AGAIN that I don’t!

 

Idk why but the way she words things is kind awkward. I feel like she just wants to show ppl. Idk why. I told her that and she said why would she show anyone and what would she gain from that. Then i told her what if things doesn’t work out between us and I was to date someone else, she’d show the person I’m seeing everything. She’s done very childish stuff like that before when she was mad at me. She asksed me is that what I’m planning to do. To start dating someone else.... I told her no. That I was just saying in general. And then yelled SO WHAT IF I AM!? She eventually said I’m stupid and hung up. She texts me hours later apologizing for sounding awkward and that she didn’t mean to be. I said “ok ttul” because I felt awkward.

Idk what it is I DO care about her. A lot. I just can’t get over the past. We have so much history. But I’ve never been able to let her go. But for some reason with her.... I don’t communicate well. Like WE just don’t communicate well at all.....

 

Idk what to do. I do want us to work out.

[smackie9]

Tell her what you told us. I think what you also could do is call her out on her accusations.....not aggressively but just ask her, "why do you think that? what am I doing or saying to make you think that?" Get her to communicate and you listen...take your time before you respond. I think she is immature with her answers because she feels you don't listen, don't understand. So take your time to respond, don't get your back up about it, turn the tables and ask the questions.

 

 

 

About the sex thing...come on, her asking about when you were going to have sex again is a compliment...you are doing something right in that department, that's a win win.

 

 

 

 

Make it official....ask her to be your GF.

[preraph]

She's immature and clingy. I mean, it would be too much for most people, but each to his own. Your parents think she's too much. Until you decide if she's "the one," you dang well better wear a condom so she doesn't get tired of wondering and just gives you a commitment for 18 years.

 

You should talk to her about her being too clingy, too demanding and all that, but I warn you, she's probably not going to change. She's so far along that road, I don't see her changing much. If you want to be kept track of and pressured for the rest of your life, go ahead. She's going to be hard to get rid of if you try to do that too. You'll have to totally block her and probably move.

 

If you decide to break up, don't tell her excuses that leave her hope like "Once I get a job." Do a clean break. She's too persistent for anything like that to work.

 

Also, how you gonna keep a job with her blowing up your phone all the time?

My guess is she will hold you back, always mad if you're late, always blowing up your phone at work, mad if you socialize with work people.

 

But it's your heart. Just remember you have a brain and let it have its say too!