Long distance friendship issues

[Moondaisy]

Hey everyone,

I’m back in here after a long time, again with a long distance relationship issue. But this time it’s about an online friend of mine who lives miles away from me.

We’ve been talking since the beginning of 2017, he’s a 21 year old university student and he’s going to start his senior year this year. He’s working part time in a store and living with his parents (his mom and moms boyfriend).

 

I have always appreciated his way of thinking and attitude towards life, and I truly enjoy chatting with him.

 

But he’s not feeling well at all recently and I think he drinks and smokes a lot with the hope that his pain will go away. He says his family isn’t really supportive, they call him names etc. I suppose he has problems especially with his mom’s boyfriend, he told me he’s not wanted in the house anymore. He also said he’s been drinking heavily recently because his ex blocked him, but I’m sure he’s always had this drinking problem for quite a long time.

 

We once talked on the phone, that was last year, and we sent a few voice recordings each other. Oh, and I sent him a package of snacks and sweets last year, he seemed to be happy with that.

 

No Skype, nothing. I’ve been wanting to video chat with him but he’s somehow not interested, I asked him why that is, and he said it’s because he’s very self conscious about his looks, and I said ok. I know I can’t force him to do something he’s not comfortable doing. -I know this post is gonna be really long but I really feel like I need to give at least some details about the whole situation, so that you can see what I’m dealing with much more easily.-

 

The thing that bothers me about this Skype thing is that he told me he Skyped his ex before. Wasn’t he self conscious about his looks at that time? Is it me or did something bad happen when they were Skyping and he’s been hesitant about video chatting ever since?

I do my best to ask him what the problem is but he usually avoids the question, and moves on to another topic and that makes me feel so sad.

Though he told me some of his problems regarding his family that he can’t share with his friends in real life (at least that’s what he told me). I think he has two close friends, I messaged one of them recently to learn what’s going on and he said he had no idea but he would find out soon. And then he told me he broke up with his close friends and has no one to talk to anymore.

 

What I’ve written so far might sound like total bull****, perhaps I shouldn’t care about someone that much I’ve never met in real life before, especially if he doesn’t give a crap about me, and he barely gives a crap about anything, even his own life. But I can’t help feeling sorry for him, I want to support him in any way I possibly can and make sure that he’s gonna be ok, but he doesn’t seem to think the same way.

I think it was November, 2017 when I had a serious argument with him and decided to ignore his messages at least for some time, he kept messaging me and we eventually started talking again.

 

He says I think too highly of him, but I don’t think that’s true. Yeah, we’ve never met in real life and all I know about him is what he told me about him, nothing more. And one phone call won’t help me get to know him of course. Yes, I don’t know him in real life, he doesn’t know me in real life either. Maybe I shouldn’t be giving much thought into it, but I can’t help.

Sorry for not being able to keep it short, that’s all I want to say for now. You can ask me anything, I will try my best to answer. I just want to know what to do. Is it really possible to help him? Support him? Thanks in advance.

[ExpatInItaly]

This is a lost cause, OP.

 

You need to let go. You know all the reasons why you should; I don't think you need any of us to point out why you're wasting your time.