Ali1234 Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 I have been married with ny husband for 4 years now, started Dating for 7. I am 25 and he is 27. Never had the idea or the feeling that he was cheating. I just saw messages from him and ex coworker where he tells her that he would take his bra off. They tell each other that they miss each other. He wanted to see her a couple weeks ago and bring her beer. She denied the invitation. She doesn’t seem like she has done anything besides saying that she misses him. He is been delleting his txts, reddit search, and other things. I am just super sad and upset to know that he got close to cheat on me with her. And maybe he already did with more and he just deleleted everything. He has also been looking at porn and pictures of girls on reddit, intagram and snapchat. He denied that he is been cheating. He said that the pictures he has seen mean nothing and that he is not looking for something because he already has me. And this girl he has been calling pretty and all this things he said that he wasnt going to do anything that he just wanted to se how far she would get, and that he would stop. I told him I’m not stupid obviously. He was mad at me for checking his phone and that i shouldn’t be doing that because is private and is his. I am heartbroken, part of me just wants to leave him, and the other wants to fix things since he didn’t get to do anything. I don’t want to have to check his phone every day or be worried about this for the rest of our marriage. We dont have kids yet and makes me not want to have any. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Sorry, but your hubby is a bum. He didn't delete those posts because they were reading bible verses together...If constantly wondering and worrying what he is up to isn't your cup of tea, just dump the chump now. It will save you a lot of heartache later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing. He is certainly cheating and lying to you on a daily basis. You can't fix anything if he won't even tell you the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I agree that there is more to this. If it was above board, he'd show you the messages. Co-workers don't talk about taking someone's bra off. If there is any hope to fix this you will need marriage counseling. If he's not willing to go or if you don't want to, it's time to see a lawyer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 If your husband doesn't see that here is a problem and if he's not invested to fix it, then you may as well file for divorce. His phone should be private, you shouldn't have to check his phone. However, he lost that privilege when he texted a coworker and told her that he wanted to bring the beer and take her bra off... Definitely, don't have children with this man until you are sure that he has recommitted to you and the marriage. Divorce gets 100x more complicated when there are children involved... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Yup agreed, counseling or get a lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Iris17 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) Please don't have a child with him. My bf did the same thing as your husband. Then when I found out he said it was harmless flirting, he was curious about tinder and that's why he signed up. With the girl he has been inappropriately messaging he said he did it cos he likes making new friends blah blah..full of excuses. He also deleted a lot of messages that he sent to her and another female acquaintance and when I asked he always had an answer for everything. This happened when our child was barely one. And then a year later he cheated on me..with that same girl. Walk away..you will find someone better. It will be much harder and more complicated for you to leave and restart your life if you have a child. Your husband won't stop. Edited August 8, 2018 by Iris17 Link to post Share on other sites
Iris17 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 I wouldn't even bother with counselling..you are very young. Counselling takes a lot of time, energy and money . Use them for something else...on yourself and those who cares about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Exformer Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 When someone makes a mistake and owns it, it's possible to repair a relationship...but here's the deal...He's not sorry. He's not even pretending to be apologetic. I mean, how do you supposed to repair, grow and move on in the relationship, when he thinks the only wrong done here was by you when you went through his phone? He excused himself from wrong doing by claiming he was just seeing how far she'd go. Even if that's true (which it is clearly not), isn't that enough to be considered disrespectful of you and your relationship? He doesn't care about that. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Walk away from this relationship. He’s not done sowing his wild oats. Find a mature man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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