Destini Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I hear people say you can’t force love and it happens naturally. What would be an example of love taking it’s natural course and a relationship blossoming from it vs love not taking it’s natural course and a relationship being “forced”? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 a forced relationship is where one party does not like the other fully but still gets into a relationship with them to see if it might work out. usually it doesn't Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Or, one partner is not truly attracted to the other/in love with the other/trying to forget someone else... they get into a relationship hoping that their feelings will grow. People may do this when they meet someone who "looks good on paper," but they don't have feelings for... Or, people will do this when they still love their ex, but they are trying to move on by dating someone else. They are forcing a relationship that won't work, for any number of reasons. Looking back on your previous posts, you are trying to force a relationship with a man who continues to have feelings for his ex. It's not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 You're not really into the person ... but you foolishly tell yourself, I SHOULD be into this person. Or person isn't really into you ... your work triply hard to get them to like you ... Or ... at the other end ... you start dating someone and they exhibit destructive behavior ... and instead of pausing or stopping and confronting them, you pretend the bad behavior is going to go away ... Link to post Share on other sites
Striver Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 This all goes back to the notion of "soulmates" or "the one", that there is one and only one person that can fulfill us, that we will somehow meet this person through some magical process, and if you don't you screwed it up somehow. I think this and "natural love" is mostly a load of crap. Maybe it isn't a load of crap for some people. For others it is. First of all, love is variable. An attractive extrovert may have potential partners that naturally love them numbering in the thousands. An unattractive introvert may have zero. No one is going to just naturally love this person, what can I say. Now if you find no one that naturally loves you, yes I think you should get on with your life and find the best you can. Find someone that has other good qualities and loves you about the best as anyone loves you. If you're on a desert island with a person of the opposite sex, believe me that you are going to be "loving" that person before too long. Opportunities vary. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Love is like a fart - if you've got to force it, it's probably sh*t 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 Or, one partner is not truly attracted to the other/in love with the other/trying to forget someone else... they get into a relationship hoping that their feelings will grow. People may do this when they meet someone who "looks good on paper," but they don't have feelings for... Or, people will do this when they still love their ex, but they are trying to move on by dating someone else. They are forcing a relationship that won't work, for any number of reasons. Looking back on your previous posts, you are trying to force a relationship with a man who continues to have feelings for his ex. It's not going to work. Yea well I learned my lesson. I had hope thinking that because he hadn’t texted her back in meant something when really he probably is hoping for her to text him like she probably use to do when they were together. He’s not getting her attention like he use to. He asked her to play a imessgae game for nudes she lost and didn’t even send real nudes. She was in her underwear and her hair covered her boobs while he was sending pictures of his penis basically indirectly asking her if she misses it and her excuse was she wasn’t ready for that Because it’s been almost a year since she had sex and it was with him I’m sure. She’s not over anxious to talk to him like she use to I can tell from the text and I think that’s the only reason he hasn’t texted her back but he wants to. My mom will be in Missouri in a few days to pretty much pick me up and help me move back to Chicago. He won’t know until she arrives. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I'm glad you are going home with your mom. Good luck to you. She's probably not responding because it's been a year... With a little time and distance, let's hope she has moved on with her life and realized what a scoundrel he is too... Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 A one sided relationship. I have tried forcing love (not in a crazy way) and that never ended well. Pretty much one party isn't interested and only does things because the other person wants them to. Their actions don't come from their heart, just afraid of consequences if they don't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Forcing love creates a situation in which one of the parties or both parties end up pretending to feel something that they really don't feel. Therefore what you've got is something less than genuine; not the real deal. Now, can people sort of be deceived from time to time? Sure. Can people get into situations where they feel obligated and then have a hard time extracting themselves from said obligations? Sure. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Example. I was friends with a fellow employee at a record store, and he was, I thought, happily married. We were friends three years. I was in love with consecutively 2 other guys the whole time. I helped him and his band some. I even traveled a little with the band and including his wife. I was friends with all of them but mostly him since we worked together, had lunch together some, etc. Suddenly he came to me wanting to date. Suddenly they were divorcing. He didn't even give me the reason. I was in a terrible state of ill repair from a recent breakup I never got over. He knew that. I told him he shouldn't divorce. When he insisted, I knew he had two other women he liked, one local and one an aggressive client of his who chased him while he was married. I told him date one of them. He said no, I was his first choice. Anyway, I was afraid I'd always wonder if it would have worked out, though I was in a terrible state plus didn't really feel romantic toward him, but affectionate, yes. But I thought I should try. It didn't work. I call that being forced. He didn't spend 24 hours alone between separation for divorce and coming to me. As Diana Ross and the Supremes say, "You Can't Hurry Love." Link to post Share on other sites
Bumpkin Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Love is like a fart - if you've got to force it, it's probably sh*t couldn't help but chuckle at this!! Link to post Share on other sites
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