Lotsgoingon Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I think the solution is for her to accept you don't want to have kids, and that in any case it's generally not a good idea to try to persuade someone to have kids who doesn't want to. So this isn't really an issue you should "compromise" on ... Having kids will totally change the relationship and your life. Not something you want to do if you're not feeling it. And you've been in integrity because all along you made clear you don't want to have children and she was there herself ... so there's no "betrayal" here. She'll have the mourn the loss of the chance to have kids. That's true ... but that's doable ... Lots of us nonparents have gone through this process. And it's up to her to find outlets for her maternal longings. There are lots of people in the world who need loving attention and time from a good adult. Lots of aunts and uncles without children spend time with nephews and nieces as a way of working through their maternal and paternal desires. Lots of people engage in coaching and teaching and mentoring ... and enjoy that ... and get to go home without that full 24/7/365 responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
viatori patuit Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 So.... I guess from responses is that its either I get what I want, or, she gets to try what she may want elsewhere.....afiter changing her mind.....? I still think there is a solution without us breaking up. We still want to make it work together! Yep. Kids are a deal breaker. She has until 45 to get pregnant. She could even use a donor and be almost assured to get pregnant. The next four years will be a steady stream of increasing pressure most likely. My wife and I discussed this. She has two kids and they are fine. But I don’t see my marriage surviving if we don’t have a kid too. I am almost your age and I am well aware of the nonsense involved (her kids are young). Sad I suppose but cest le vie. Link to post Share on other sites
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