Confused1972 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 (edited) Hi I’ve recently separated from my husband of 11 years, the main reason was the 2 hour daily video calls for the past year (I waited to leave until my children had finished college) but there were lots of other reasons too, such as he would drink nearly half bottle of vodka a night which then me and my daughters would feel like we had to tread to eggshells so he wouldn’t get in a mood or kick off at something (he hasn’t ever been physically abusive, just mentally), getting in a mood and sometimes being verbally abusive if I didn’t want sex and on the whole just not being considerate. He now trying to tell me he was on the phone every day as she had blackmailed him into showing me a picture of them in a friendly kiss (I think he’s admitted to that as I did some Facebook stalking on her FB profile and found the photo which was a selfie kiss laying on a settee) . Rationally I know that’s just him trying to damage control as you don’t spend 2 hours a day on video call just for a friend esp one who’s blackmailing you but when he explains it it sounds plausible, I know that may make me sound like an idiot but he sounds so believable. He’s not wanting a separation and begging for me to go back and of course he’s on his best behaviour at the moment but I know from experience (itÂ’s not the first time I’ve left him) that this niceness doesn’t last and life is so much more peaceful living in a house with just me and my children. I am being an idiot in even considering he’s telling the truth right? Edited August 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Yeah, sorry. Don't listen to him. It's just your hormones trying to lure you back into comfortable familiarity. "But WHAT IF he really is a magical unicorn made of sparkles?????" He's not. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I am being an idiot in even considering he’s telling the truth right? As opposed to waiting for him to cheat or suffer the long-term effects of alcoholism? To me, just getting your daughters to a healthier environment would be incentive enough. Is this the life you want for them ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 I am being an idiot in even considering he’s telling the truth right? Not an idiot, I would never call someone an idiot for thinking the best of people and wanting to save their marriage. But it is unrealistic, idealistic and living in fantasy land! You need to wake up and smell the coffee, then drink it and go see a divorce lawyer ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 If you want to save your marriage a lot of things will have to happen. 1. You attend some Al-anon meetings for people in love with alcoholics. They will open your eyes to his manipulative behavior. 2. He goes to AA & quits drinking 3. You both get MC 4. The computer gets moved to a public space in your house so no more video chats 5. The OW gets cut off completely If he's not willing to do all that you can't save this because he is not serious about fixing things. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts