I'm depressed that another man got my ex girlfirend pregnant

[TipRock]

Me and my girlfriend broke up about a year ago, and she started dating another guy about 3 months after we broke up. She got pregnant with his child after dating him for about 10 months.

 

I am so depressed about this because I was hoping she would eventually break up with the guy and get back with me, but that's definitely not going to happen now. The only real reason my girlfriend gave to me to why she broke up with me is that she told that she just didn't feel like being with me anymore.

 

So I thought she would eventually realize that she made a mistake when she broke up with me and then started dating that other guy, and then she would break up with him and start dating me again, but she ended up getting pregnant with his child, and thus that's probably not going to happen now.

 

Worst part about this is that I started dating this woman when we both were 18 years old, and she broke up with me when we were both 23 years old. So we have been dating each other for about 5 years until we broke up. I hoping we would get married and have children together someday, but that's now never going to happen.

 

Can someone give me advice on how to get over this whole thing?

Edited August 7, 2018 by TipRock

[MountainGirl111]

 

Can someone give me advice on how to get over this whole thing?

 

I'm sorry for your depression. How to get over it? Well, there's LOTS of things you can do. That's the good news. However, I don't know how deep your depression is...when a person is truly, truly depressed they don't feel like doing anything and the things that used to make them feel happy no longer does. They could go to the Butchard Gardens and not see any beauty whatsoever. If that's the case with you, I'd recommend professional help ASAP.

 

Good news, in my mind is this: At least she was broke up with you for a few months before she started dating someone else and then it was 10 months after that she got pregnant. It would really REALLY suck if she got pregnant while you were still dating her or like say if you were married to her and she got preggers with another guy's baby!! At least this way it's pretty straight forward that you need to grieve the past relationship with her and move on with your own life. If you can completely accept the facts, your chances of moving on are better, I think. You may have had dreams/fantasies that she would one day have your baby. Time to get rid of those thoughts....get busy with other stuff....if unwanted thoughts creep in, block them out.

 

You can start to implement step by step what to do to move on. It's likely you will always feel "something" for her. That's just how it goes with people we love or once loved a lot. But over time and distance it does tend to fade, it really does. So hang in there. Set goals that are attainable for yourself and plot the course out....then start stepping in a different direction.

[MountainGirl111]

I'm sorry for your depression. How to get over it? Well, there's LOTS of things you can do. That's the good news. However, I don't know how deep your depression is...when a person is truly, truly depressed they don't feel like doing anything and the things that used to make them feel happy no longer does. They could go to the Butchard Gardens and not see any beauty whatsoever. If that's the case with you, I'd recommend professional help ASAP.

 

Good news, in my mind is this: At least she was broke up with you for a few months before she started dating someone else and then it was 10 months after that she got pregnant. It would really REALLY suck if she got pregnant while you were still dating her or like say if you were married to her and she got preggers with another guy's baby!! At least this way it's pretty straight forward that you need to grieve the past relationship with her and move on with your own life. If you can completely accept the facts, your chances of moving on are better, I think. You may have had dreams/fantasies that she would one day have your baby. Time to get rid of those thoughts....get busy with other stuff....if unwanted thoughts creep in, block them out.

 

You can start to implement step by step what to do to move on. It's likely you will always feel "something" for her. That's just how it goes with people we love or once loved a lot. But over time and distance it does tend to fade, it really does. So hang in there. Set goals that are attainable for yourself and plot the course out....then start stepping in a different direction.

[TipRock]

I'm sorry for your depression. How to get over it? Well, there's LOTS of things you can do. That's the good news. However, I don't know how deep your depression is...when a person is truly, truly depressed they don't feel like doing anything and the things that used to make them feel happy no longer does. They could go to the Butchard Gardens and not see any beauty whatsoever. If that's the case with you, I'd recommend professional help ASAP.

 

Good news, in my mind is this: At least she was broke up with you for a few months before she started dating someone else and then it was 10 months after that she got pregnant. It would really REALLY suck if she got pregnant while you were still dating her or like say if you were married to her and she got preggers with another guy's baby!! At least this way it's pretty straight forward that you need to grieve the past relationship with her and move on with your own life. If you can completely accept the facts, your chances of moving on are better, I think. You may have had dreams/fantasies that she would one day have your baby. Time to get rid of those thoughts....get busy with other stuff....if unwanted thoughts creep in, block them out.

 

You can start to implement step by step what to do to move on. It's likely you will always feel "something" for her. That's just how it goes with people we love or once loved a lot. But over time and distance it does tend to fade, it really does. So hang in there. Set goals that are attainable for yourself and plot the course out....then start stepping in a different direction.

 

Thanks for the advice! But it's so hard to move on when you were in love with someone for so long, and it's very hard to not think about it.

[MountainGirl111]

Thanks for the advice! But it's so hard to move on when you were in love with someone for so long, and it's very hard to not think about it.

 

Absolutely it's hard!! We can't just turn our feelings off and turn our thoughts off. So, then, what to do....I'll tell you what has helped me before....and that is....try to stay busy doing things you enjoy....find out what you love to do that brings you joy....it doesn't have to be anything spectacular. It might even be something normally thought to be ordinary. Your situation is like a double whammy. Not only did you have the break up...your hopes and dreams were dashed against the rocks....because you likely had dreamed she would have your baby someday. Then you find out she's having someone else's baby and that's like a sucker punch. How are you supposed to be ready for that kind of news?