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Ladies is not being anything more then friends with a guy usually about looks?

Ken1900

By Ken1900,
in General Relationship Discussion

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Ken1900

Ken1900

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Let's say you have a really close guy friend you have an good connection have similliar senses of humor think he's a great guy but he's just a great friend and nothing more is the reason always you're not attracted to his looks?

 

Or is it possible for you to be good friends with a good looking guy who possesses a lot of great traits is a great guy but for whatever reason you just seem him in a brotherly way?

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Or is it possible for you to be good friends with a good looking guy who possesses a lot of great traits is a great guy but for whatever reason you just seem him in a brotherly way?

 

 

Yes it's possible.

 

 

 

A man can fit right into the 'mister right' category but you just don't feel it.

 

 

 

For women not everything is about looks. Men seem to have a hard time understanding this.

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Ken1900

Ken1900

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It's usually about chemistry and sexual tension. If we don't feel it you are a friend.

 

You wouldn't be good friends if you didn't have some sort of chemistry no?

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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You wouldn't be good friends if you didn't have some sort of chemistry no?

 

 

It's not the same..

 

TFY

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Looks / chemistry may be a factor. I have a handsome friend -- tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, great sense of humor, very compassionate guy but he's also an unemployed raging alcoholic. Even when he had a job, our values were never compatible; plus blue eyed blondes don't float my boat. Doesn't make him any less outwardly good looking; I just prefer my tall dark & handsome husband.

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kendahke

kendahke

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is it possible for you to be good friends with a good looking guy who possesses a lot of great traits is a great guy but for whatever reason you just seem him in a brotherly way?

 

Yes. Everyone is entitled to their preferences in a romantic partner and if this guy just doesn't have it, his looks really aren't going to do anything for me--I suppose he needs a more shallow woman who stops at looks.

 

It's about what I find attractive about who he is because looks fade. When that happens, one is going to need personality, confidence and being a decent human being to carry one through.

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kendahke

kendahke

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You wouldn't be good friends if you didn't have some sort of chemistry no?

 

Not necessarily. I can be good friends and not want him as my lover.

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Ken1900

Ken1900

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Yes. Everyone is entitled to their preferences in a romantic partner and if this guy just doesn't have it, his looks really aren't going to do anything for me--I suppose he needs a more shallow woman who stops at looks.

 

It's about what I find attractive about who he is because looks fade. When that happens, one is going to need personality, confidence and being a decent human being to carry one through.

 

But if you’re already good friends they most likely already have the personality and decent human being part down or you wouldn’t be friends and want to be around them if not.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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But if you’re already good friends they most likely already have the personality and decent human being part down or you wouldn’t be friends and want to be around them if not.

 

You are thinking too much like a guy....You need to stop this....:laugh:

 

TFY

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OatsAndHall

OatsAndHall

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But if you’re already good friends they most likely already have the personality and decent human being part down or you wouldn’t be friends and want to be around them if not.

 

 

It seems like your trying to quantify a situation that has a lot of variables. Compatibility, lifestyles, personality quirks, etc.. I'm good friends with one of the first women I met via OLD. She's very attractive, fun and a great person. But, she also has ADHD and doesn't like treating it with medication as it slows her down. I can barely keep up with her as a friend, much less in a relationship. She's always on the go, has a hectic, busy schedule and our lifestyles just don't mesh.

 

 

 

If we were ten years younger, I doubt either of us would bat an eye at the differences in lifestyles and end up in a short, messy, unfulfilling relationship. But, experience had taught the both of us that we don't want that.

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FMW

FMW

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For me it's all about sexual chemistry, not looks.

 

Friendship chemistry is a whole different thing than sexual chemistry - maybe it's something guys don't get, but it's pretty common with women. It's either there or it's not.

 

I have great friendship chemistry with several guy friends and I love hanging out with them, getting a different general outlook and energy. Some of them are great looking guys, but the sexual chemistry isn't there.

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Mike800

Mike800

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You are thinking too much like a guy....You need to stop this....:laugh:

 

TFY

 

Seriously men and women are very different.women can be turned off by the slightest things we'd never think about or think are extremely goofy...

 

I remember asking a good friend one time why we never took it to the next level and she said she was turned off by me not ordering her dinner when we went out to eat and making her order on her own. She said I wasn't take charge enough for her lol...

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Seriously men and women are very different.women can be turned off by the slightest things we'd never think about or think are extremely goofy...

 

I remember asking a good friend one time why we never took it to the next level and she said she was turned off by me not ordering her dinner when we went out to eat and making her order on her own. She said I wasn't take charge enough for her lol...

 

 

Once a man told me he couldn't imagine himself dating a woman with Gaeta for first name.

 

 

 

It's not that women can be turned off by the slightest, it just means they're not into you and feeding you excuses. Men & women do it.

 

 

 

When a woman likes you not much will turn her off, ask my ex-h widow who's dating a sexual predator just out of jail, she can't get enough of him. Or ask my best friend I just dropped who's been enduring mistreatment from her bf for 4 years, she hangs on because he's hot...........

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stillafool

stillafool

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But if you’re already good friends they most likely already have the personality and decent human being part down or you wouldn’t be friends and want to be around them if not.

 

This isn't the type of chemistry I'm talking about. Yeah, I have chemistry with my friends in what we like and value; that's what makes us friends. The chemistry I have with my husband is that mixed with romantic love and sexual feelings towards him. If the last two components are missing from the equation you are friends.

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MountainGirl111

MountainGirl111

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Let's say you have a really close guy friend you have an good connection have similliar senses of humor think he's a great guy but he's just a great friend and nothing more is the reason always you're not attracted to his looks?

 

Or is it possible for you to be good friends with a good looking guy who possesses a lot of great traits is a great guy but for whatever reason you just seem him in a brotherly way?

 

No it's not always about looks. And yes, it's possible to have a great looking guy friend you see as a brother. Doesn't mean that couldn't change at some point, though. Try not to overanalyze it and just continue to be yourself. Many good LTR's start out as good friends.

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basil67

basil67

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But if you’re already good friends they most likely already have the personality and decent human being part down or you wouldn’t be friends and want to be around them if not.

 

I've had friends over the years who are very good friends, but I can walk away from a friendly catch up thinking that there's no way I could live with them. We see friends in small doses and that's why we can live with their eccentricities. But having a relationship with them would be a whole different kettle of fish.

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Mysterio

Mysterio

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Lets cut through everything for both genders. Its all about looks. Sometimes you need to put more time into each other as well.

 

I have a friend JC who is a very attractive girl. I am not dating her, because she has not done anything to make me more warm towards her. I am more attracted to her shell, than her personality beyond friendship.

 

My Friend D who is older than me. She is sweet, always gives me a hug and kiss and checks up on me every 6 wks or so. I would rather be with her if she was single and its only a stupid fantasy in my mind. Its a lot based on combined looks and how I am treated.

 

Some people hit you that way. Some don't. I think guys are way more into the looks thing, because thats all they need, and they make up a story in their head about the woman they like as a motivation to explore a romantic connection.

 

Women are not like that. I think that they are more complex when it comes to attraction. Seems to me as I have said on other posts. I get more attention when I don't care when it does happen. I don't know why that aloof attitude is like a magnet when they like me.

 

So if a woman is friends with you, its about your looks/your a brother to them. Not a bad thing. Its just you don't want to be that way with every woman. I also don't think that most women are vying to sleep with every man that comes into their sight.

 

Most men will always be visually attracted to most women and desire them. With all the visual stimuli in our modern day society.

 

Most women are going to have to accept that men look at them as a romantic prospect first before friends.

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alphamale

alphamale

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For women not everything is about looks. Men seem to have a hard time understanding this.

 

that's not my experience. women are just as visual as men and maybe even more so. the better looking a man is the more female "friends" he has

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basil67

basil67

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Lets cut through everything for both genders. Its all about looks.

 

Please don't speak for me Mysterio.

 

Hot male friend. I mean smokin hot. Would love to have had a ONS with him but a relationship? No freaking way. He'd drive me bonkers. Pretty face and hot body do not make up for personality mismatch.

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Daisy2013

Daisy2013

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It's usually about chemistry and sexual tension. If we don't feel it you are a friend.

 

Agree. I have had male friends, and I have experienced this. Huge difference.

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Lilkilgore

Lilkilgore

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Agree. I have had male friends, and I have experienced this. Huge difference.

 

I agree. But sexual chemistry is not always the same as looks. When I was single I had female friends who were objectively pretty that I didn’t have a spark for and vice versa.

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Daisy2013

Daisy2013

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I agree. But sexual chemistry is not always the same as looks. When I was single I had female friends who were objectively pretty that I didn’t have a spark for and vice versa.

 

Right. Looks didn't enter my mind, here. The guy this happened to me with was indeed handsome, but it was never his looks that drew me in. And it fact, he is 11 years older than me nearing retirement! It was some invisible chemistry and sexual tension that did us in. Hit both of us. Can't explain it. Never happened before that or since then to me.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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that's not my experience. women are just as visual as men and maybe even more so. the better looking a man is the more female "friends" he has

 

Nope....he may have female admirers, but not friends...

 

And my experience is that the guys that have a number of female friends are either the types that actually think that being some woman's orbiter is better than going home and pulling his dick, or they may have some effeminate qualities that women like...

 

With a few notable exceptions. IME, .most guys don't really bother with female friends...If they are already in relationships, they won't want to make their SO insecure or suspicious....If they are free to date/single then they will only friend a woman that they think they have a shot at, if it doesn't happen pretty quickly they move on..

 

TFY

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