Ladies is not being anything more then friends with a guy usually about looks?

[Lilkilgore]

Nope....he may have female admirers, but not friends...

 

And my experience is that the guys that have a number of female friends are either the types that actually think that being some woman's orbiter is better than going home and pulling his dick, or they may have some effeminate qualities that women like...

 

With a few notable exceptions. IME, .most guys don't really bother with female friends...If they are already in relationships, they won't want to make their SO insecure or suspicious....If they are free to date/single then they will only friend a woman that they think they have a shot at, if it doesn't happen pretty quickly they move on..

 

TFY

I don’t agree. I have always had female friends - especially when I was single. In a lot of ways I relate better to women than men

[thefooloftheyear]

I don’t agree. I have always had female friends - especially when I was single. In a lot of ways I relate better to women than men

 

 

No disrespect, but there are tons of male posters on here that complain about how they have so many great female friends, yet are perpetually single...

 

Coincidence? i don't think so...

 

TFY

[Lilkilgore]

No disrespect, but there are tons of male posters on here that complain about how they have so many great female friends, yet are perpetually single...

 

Coincidence? i don't think so...

 

TFY

 

I am not single. And one of my closest friends for years has been a woman

[MountainGirl111]

I don't have "closed circuit thinking" with regards to this issue. I think it just depends on the person/people involved. Some people become more attractive the more you get to know them. Some people can be perfect looking, but as soon as they open their mouth and start talking it begins to go downhill. Women are not just visual. They are auditory and tactile as well.

[MountainGirl111]

I've enjoyed friendships with many men; some of them very attractive physically...and either they were already in a relationship or I was, but we still enjoyed being friends. It was nice. It's totally possible to be friends.

[Lilkilgore]

I've enjoyed friendships with many men; some of them very attractive physically...and either they were already in a relationship or I was, but we still enjoyed being friends. It was nice. It's totally possible to be friends.

 

I 100% agree. I also had friends I hooked up with (though that was unusual). But generally I found that in a lot of ways I could be more frank and emotionally naked with female friends than with male

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

It is always WAY more about "game" than it is about looks. A man who is a perfect 10 in facial handsomeness and a perfect 10 in physique can rapidly become a 2 if he has no sexual game/appeal, and vice versa.....a 2 can become a 10.....

 

As someone else said before....men seem to not grasp this....

[Lilkilgore]

It is always WAY more about "game" than it is about looks. A man who is a perfect 10 in facial handsomeness and a perfect 10 in physique can rapidly become a 2 if he has no sexual game/appeal, and vice versa.....a 2 can become a 10.....

 

As someone else said before....men seem to not grasp this....

 

Makes sense. How would you define game? I ask because I was always under confident that I had it. Lol

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Makes sense. How would you define game? I ask because I was always under confident that I had it. Lol

 

Gosh, it's so hard to define. At the top of it is confidence. And ability to flirt and engage in conversation without seeming fake.

[Lilkilgore]

Gosh, it's so hard to define. At the top of it is confidence. And ability to flirt and engage in conversation without seeming fake.

 

I was always pretty good at conversation because I am interested and a good listener

[MountainGirl111]

Makes sense. How would you define game? I ask because I was always under confident that I had it. Lol

 

Here's the deal: The fact that you were not "over confident" about having "game" may have upped your game. Are you attracted to women who are so caught up in their looks but have a terrible personality or are boring to talk to....and a whiny voice? I forgot to mention vocal factors. The way a man talks; his voice...that adds to attractiveness.

[Ken1900]

I don't have "closed circuit thinking" with regards to this issue. I think it just depends on the person/people involved. Some people become more attractive the more you get to know them. Some people can be perfect looking, but as soon as they open their mouth and start talking it begins to go downhill. Women are not just visual. They are auditory and tactile as well.

 

But I’m talking someone who’s already your friend so you obviously already enjoy them as a person..I’m not talking a good looking guy you can’t tolerate to be around.

 

My friend always tells me I’m the best person she knows how funny iam etc so am I wrong to think it has to be looks then as to why she doesn’t want to be with me if she enjoys me as a person and my personality?

[stillafool]

Is she dating other guys?

[Ken1900]

Is she dating other guys?

 

She hasn’t dated in a year or two because she wanted to focus on her kid who’s in high school..I made my move recently because for the first time I heard her mention about trying to date again.

 

A few weeks ago before she rejected me I made a move and she asked me what am I doing so I stopped left the uber she called me back and kissed me goodbye on the lips in the back of an uber a few weeks ago before she rejected me but she was a little drunk at the time so it probably meant nothing.

Edited August 8, 2018 by Ken1900

[Gretchen12]

Looks can be a part of it. For me it's more about different attachment styles. People approach romance differently and are not wrong but just incompatible.

[MountainGirl111]

She hasn’t dated in a year or two because she wanted to focus on her kid who’s in high school..I made my move recently because for the first time I heard her mention about trying to date again.

 

A few weeks ago before she rejected me I made a move and she asked me what am I doing so I stopped left the uber she called me back and kissed me goodbye on the lips in the back of an uber a few weeks ago before she rejected me but she was a little drunk at the time so it probably meant nothing.

 

Ok...so here is what might be going on with her. She asked "What are you doing"? Maybe she just really wanted to know what you were doing...and...because you have been friends first she may have felt awkward when things started moving into more than friends. Then she kissed you, so I'm no so sure she's rejected you at all.

[Ken1900]

Ok...so here is what might be going on with her. She asked "What are you doing"? Maybe she just really wanted to know what you were doing...and...because you have been friends first she may have felt awkward when things started moving into more than friends. Then she kissed you, so I'm no so sure she's rejected you at all.

 

She was kinda drunk though..but even drunk would she kiss me on the lips if she had no attraction to me?

[brigit87]

She was kinda drunk though..but even drunk would she kiss me on the lips if she had no attraction to me?

 

Do you want to be with a woman who will only kiss you when she's drunk?

[MountainGirl111]

She was kinda drunk though..but even drunk would she kiss me on the lips if she had no attraction to me?

 

"Kinda drunk?" If she was only kinda drunk she probably wouldn't kiss you unless she really wanted to. It sounds like she did want to kiss you. Is that such a shocker? Relax. More than likely she is just not sure how to go forward. She knows by now you are interested in her more than just friends and she likely feels the same about you..but if you cross over into new territory with each other she might be afraid it would ruin a good friendship. That happens sometimes. You really oughta talk to her about this; open up good communication.

[preraph]

I was friends with this really really good looking guy. I was never sure what he had in mind had all obstacles been cleared. But even though he was very attractive and I'd have slept with him, I was able to just be friends.

 

The guys I think of who I was friends with, sometimes I slept with them once early on and then felt more brotherly, or like above, they had a problem of some sort I didn't want to deal with. I mean, certainly there were some male friends I wasn't interested in sexually, and yes, it was because of attractiveness preferences and lack of swag or whatever.

[Ken1900]

"Kinda drunk?" If she was only kinda drunk she probably wouldn't kiss you unless she really wanted to. It sounds like she did want to kiss you. Is that such a shocker? Relax. More than likely she is just not sure how to go forward. She knows by now you are interested in her more than just friends and she likely feels the same about you..but if you cross over into new territory with each other she might be afraid it would ruin a good friendship. That happens sometimes. You really oughta talk to her about this; open up good communication.

 

That’s the weird thing she rejected me a few weeks after this.

 

I should include that she was married to a friend of mine who is not super close with but he is in my social circle so this could be an issue.

[Ken1900]

I was friends with this really really good looking guy. I was never sure what he had in mind had all obstacles been cleared. But even though he was very attractive and I'd have slept with him, I was able to just be friends.

 

The guys I think of who I was friends with, sometimes I slept with them once early on and then felt more brotherly, or like above, they had a problem of some sort I didn't want to deal with. I mean, certainly there were some male friends I wasn't interested in sexually, and yes, it was because of attractiveness preferences and lack of swag or whatever.

 

That’s kinda my point..most women with good looking guy friends at the very least would want to sleep with them no?

 

Could you be real good friends with a good looking guy and have no interest in even sleeping with him because he feels brotherly?

[MountainGirl111]

That’s the weird thing she rejected me a few weeks after this.

 

I should include that she was married to a friend of mine who is not super close with but he is in my social circle so this could be an issue.

 

So her ex is in your social circle. Hmmm. I suppose that could be an issue. How long has she been out of that marriage? If it hasn't been very long she may be very cautious about getting too involved with anyone else. I don't know...maybe it's just too awkward for her at this time. Personally....making the transition from friends to more than friends....well, I've been through that and so have many people I know. It's not always a smooth transition but the ones I've seen do well continued to communicate with one another in healthy ways. Indeed...what are true friends for if not to be able to talk to one another about anything they need to talk about? One of my best friends from college was friend with her future husband for about 3 or 4 years before they crossed over to more than friends and eventually got married and they're doing well. But I remember when they went through that transition and she often confided in me about it. I always felt the two of them were meant to be together so it kind of thrilled me when that happened.

[basil67]

She was kinda drunk though..but even drunk would she kiss me on the lips if she had no attraction to me?

 

Yes. Have you heard of "beer goggles"? They create attraction where none exists when sober.

[Ken1900]

So her ex is in your social circle. Hmmm. I suppose that could be an issue. How long has she been out of that marriage? If it hasn't been very long she may be very cautious about getting too involved with anyone else. I don't know...maybe it's just too awkward for her at this time. Personally....making the transition from friends to more than friends....well, I've been through that and so have many people I know. It's not always a smooth transition but the ones I've seen do well continued to communicate with one another in healthy ways. Indeed...what are true friends for if not to be able to talk to one another about anything they need to talk about? One of my best friends from college was friend with her future husband for about 3 or 4 years before they crossed over to more than friends and eventually got married and they're doing well. But I remember when they went through that transition and she often confided in me about it. I always felt the two of them were meant to be together so it kind of thrilled me when that happened.

 

We’ve been friends for years through marriage..they broke up 3 or 4 years ago and she dated one other guy afterwards..

 

Maybe just seeing me as a friend that long is hard to break or maybe she truly

Doesn’t want to date a guy from the same social circle..it didn’t end great he cheated on her too..

 

I do value her as a friend greatly she calls me her best friend and that I’m one of her favorite people so I don’t want to ruin that but who knows what the future holds for us..it would be tough for me to see her with someone else..