Social Media Standards: How do you compare?

[brigit87]

I'm frustrated with seeing beautiful photos of perfect looking women on the internet. I know the photos are photoshopped. I know about the lighting, the hair, the makeup, the pretend manipulated scene of perfection.

 

But it still gets me depressed.

 

I look at myself in real life and I am very different from the oh so sexy glam shot that everyone seems to have now. Of course, I can take my own pretend shot and look wonderful too but what's the point of that?

[d0nnivain]

Before Social Media people used to send these happy upbeat newsy letters with their holiday cards. The notes were all about the fabulous things that happened to them over the last year -- the promotions, the great vacations etc. They didn't contain any bad stuff -- job loss, weight gain, drama etc. It was all fake & depressing.

 

There have been studies showing that many people grow depressed exactly the way you are -- by comparing themselves to the alleged "perfection" they see on social media. The cure is to get off your computer for a while, like at least one month.

[Woggle]

Social media should be taken as seriously as pro wrestling. Don't let something that isn't even real get to you.

[stillafool]

Why not stay off social media if looking at that stuff makes you depressed?

[brigit87]

Before Social Media people used to send these happy upbeat newsy letters with their holiday cards. The notes were all about the fabulous things that happened to them over the last year -- the promotions, the great vacations etc. They didn't contain any bad stuff -- job loss, weight gain, drama etc. It was all fake & depressing.

 

There have been studies showing that many people grow depressed exactly the way you are -- by comparing themselves to the alleged "perfection" they see on social media. The cure is to get off your computer for a while, like at least one month.

 

I do take computer breaks. And it helps.

 

Social media should be taken as seriously as pro wrestling. Don't let something that isn't even real get to you.

 

I understand intellectually it isn't real but not emotionally.

[brigit87]

Why not stay off social media if looking at that stuff makes you depressed?

 

For the most part I do. I don't have a Facebook page or anything. But I'll do a google search on how to clean something, organize something or hair and makeup tips and these photos bombard you.

[E-Squared]

Social media should be taken as seriously as pro wrestling. Don't let something that isn't even real get to you.

 

As a fan of professional wrestling, you'd be surprised how some people take it seriously, but not in the way that you would think.

[Mr. Lucky]

I understand intellectually it isn't real but not emotionally.

 

This certainly predates social media, Marlboro men and Budweiser girls have been around for 50 years or more. It's just marketing, whether selling a product or selling oneself...

 

Mr. Lucky

[anduina]

Look at it another way. You're comparing yourself to the top 1% of attractive people. What's wrong with being part of the 99%?

[Woggle]

As a fan of professional wrestling, you'd be surprised how some people take it seriously, but not in the way that you would think.

 

I know and these people are nothing to emulate. There is nothing wrong with enjoying it but is pretty much a scripted play.

[major_merrick]

For the most part I do. I don't have a Facebook page or anything. But I'll do a google search on how to clean something, organize something or hair and makeup tips and these photos bombard you.

 

I know that feeling. I have zero social media. This site is literally as internet-y as I get. Still, there's the ads. And if it isn't online, it is in my husband's car magazines or on the billboards by the highway.

 

I think a reality check is the way to defeat it. For me...even though I dislike my body, my body hasn't been a barrier to me. I've got a great husband and cute girlfriends who picked me, not the girl in the magazine.

I have a decent job, a nice car, and I'm gonna be a mom. All without being model-pretty. When I see that glass as 3/4 full instead of 1/4 empty, life looks pretty good.

 

So...how full is your glass?

[brigit87]

This certainly predates social media, Marlboro men and Budweiser girls have been around for 50 years or more. It's just marketing, whether selling a product or selling oneself...

 

Mr. Lucky

But in the past it was more controlled. Social media has created a new beauty normal which is unattainable.

 

I don't get it. Not only are you jealous of random people on the internet, but you're jealous of random fake people on the internet?

 

This is definitely a woman thing. Men are also bombarded with images of super good looking guys, we just don't care.

 

And men aren't valued as much for their beauty. Women don't dumb their older husbands for younger ones. No such thing as a Trophy Husband.

 

Look at it another way. You're comparing yourself to the top 1% of attractive people. What's wrong with being part of the 99%?

 

yeah...that doesn't really work for me. LOL.

[brigit87]

I know that feeling. I have zero social media. This site is literally as internet-y as I get. Still, there's the ads. And if it isn't online, it is in my husband's car magazines or on the billboards by the highway.

 

I think a reality check is the way to defeat it. For me...even though I dislike my body, my body hasn't been a barrier to me. I've got a great husband and cute girlfriends who picked me, not the girl in the magazine.

I have a decent job, a nice car, and I'm gonna be a mom. All without being model-pretty. When I see that glass as 3/4 full instead of 1/4 empty, life looks pretty good.

 

So...how full is your glass?

 

You sound like you're in a really good place in life. Congrats on becoming a mom!

 

My life is pretty good. So my glass is somewhat full depending upon the day.

[basil67]

The solution is to set a realistic aim for how you want to look. Clearly, comparing yourself to photoshopped images isn't achievable. Considering what kind of lifestyle you enjoy, your genetics, age, childbearing and how much effort you want to put in, what is a realistic goal for you?

 

For example, my goal (which I've achieved) is a body which does most things I need it to and rarely gets ill. I struggle sometimes with arthritic thumbs, but I guess that one's out of my control.

[stillafool]

Also it is important to just accept that there are people who are naturally beautiful and that is the way it is and always has been. Not everyone is photo shopped they are just naturally beautiful. Trying to compete with them will be setting yourself up for disappointment. Just be the best you can with what God gave you.