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1.5 years later...


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I feel like I just ripped the bandaid off. I was pretty much over it and we still said hello had very brief conversations and crossed paths once in a while at work. I was to the point where he didn't affect me anymore. This worked for me and helped me get to that point. UNTIL... I saw him out after work. He had been drinking quite a bit and said he wanted to apologize for what happened. He feels like I hate him and he never meant to hurt me. i don't want to be friends with him because it's not helping even after all this time. We were friends for years. We never had any physical contact except for kissing but I started having strong feelings for him. He was separated at the time and went back to his wife. He already apologized to me before so I'm not sure why again after all this time. Anyway. My heart is in my stomach again and I feel horrible. Im mad at myself for getting into this conversation with him because it brought me back. He said he felt the same as me but I'm pretty sure it was the alcohol talking. I just walked away and we haven't talked since. That was a week ago. How did all these feelings come back so fast after all this time ...urgh!

Edited by Bbz106
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It looks like you have been here a while. You must have come across all the talk about how affairs have many things in common with drug addictions.

 

You are like the alcoholic that let themselves have a couple of drinks at a party. Now you are right back at square one.

 

This is why you stay NC. Truly NC. Don't let him approach you. If he does approach you after you have tried you best to avoid it, don't interact with him. Walk away. You owe him nothing. Not one second of your time. Protect yourself and don't even listen to a word he says and for gods sake don't say one word to him.

 

I hope you find peace again soon.

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I told him we can't be friends because it's not helping me. He asked if there was anything he could do to make it up to me. I said no you've been staying away and that's good but we can't be friends. It makes me feel awful at the same time. All I want to do is talk to him like before. Especially since it doesn't seem to phase him. You are right though. Thank you.

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Nothing has happened, well done. Now keep walking away. Feelings are bound to come back, the same would be for any relationship which ended whilst they were still there. Keep your head up and just keep going, that’s the only way to lessen the heartache.

 

Once you contact him, you can’t tske that back. Square one is not where you want to be.

 

Stay strong.

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