Advice on a girl I like (beachead)

[Beachead]

Hi guys, i'm new to this forum so i'm not too sure if i'm posting in the right section. If i have posted in the wrong section, i'm sorry about that. Anyway, I signed onto this forum to get some advice about this girl that's been connected in my life for a long time. First i'll tell you our history and then ask wutever questions i have. This may be a bit long but i need the right advice.

 

Well, right now, i'm 18 years old and she's 16. Seems kinda young but i can assure u i'm quite in touch with my feelings. About about 10 years back when i met this girl, we were both just little kids who met up through family events. And when we did we used to play together and joke around and do lots of child things. Then after a few months, i started to get a crush on her...and after a little while i could tell that she liked me too. But since we were both small, nothing happened and we just more friendly to eachother than with other kids. After bout 2 years or so, things began to change between us. She began to meet friend with different interests and a different persona cause of her parents interests and soon she stopped liking me. Only problem was, i still liked her and i didn't know how to cope with the change. I'm a person who's very self keepin to my feelings and i don't share them unless i can't take it anymore. But after a year, i finally told her how i felt about her after conceiling all the pain...and i got an answer that was my worst nightmare. Now keep in mind this was when i was like 13 and she was like 11...well she rejected me in the rudest possible way i could think off. After that, things got even more worse between us and our friendship was dying very quickly until i just couldn't be around her anymore. Even though she had rejected me, I still had mixed feelings for her. I didn't know what i was feeling anymore...it was anger and hurt and yet i still liked her. On top of that, our parents got into some fight and they stop talkin to eachother and because of htat, i stopped seeing her all together. Over the course of 5 years up until now, we reestablished our friendship. We weren't close but just friends who said "hey wassup, how's school and stuff.."etc.. This kept going until just this summer.

 

I had always felt affection and an attraction for her even after what happened but i kept it inside me and decided not to bring it up for the sake of maintaining the friendship...until this summer. I met her again at a family friends place and toward the end of the evening, the two of us were talkin bout school, and relationships and such. At one point, she said she was feeling hot so i asked her if she wanted to take a walk outside and she said ok. And so there we were, jsut the two of us, walking together in the night, talking like the old days. Then later on in the night, her close friend came back and i thought she was gonna ditch me and just go and talk to her friend after cause that's how she was....but she didn't. I went to go and play some football with my friends and she tagged along and walked with me all the way there and instead of playing football, she talked with me. And then i had to go home and she came back with me instead of staying at the field. I suddenly felt different around her...like something got sparked up again but i wasn't sure. I found myself thinking about her again after that. Then, I saw her again at my sis's engagement and the two of us again took a walk outside and talked and we danced and i talked iwth ehr friends and all seemed ok but i felt so awkward around her. I couldn't think of anything to say and i kept freezing up and acting stupid. I wanted to see if she liked me but it was so hard to tell cause of all of the mixed signals she was giving me. So after everything was finished, we headed home and i couldn't stop thinking about her. I felt depressed the next day and i found myself going on these sorta forums and signing up just to get some advice. I think i'm in love with this girl. Its not infatuation..i know that. I called her a few times after but either i couldn't htink of wut to say, or her brother was on the phone or she was out and she'd tell me that she'd call back and she wouldn't. And that's the present now. Here i am confused...but i know one thing, i'm in love with her.

 

I feel like she's the one i'm looking for...because after her harsh rejecting in the past and her mixed signals, and her gettin other boyfriends and everything, i still felt the same about her. Even more so now. I can't tell if she likes me or not. I want to know but the last time i asked her and told her my feelings, i got destroyed :S. Plz, i need some advice...From this info, do you think that i may have a chance or atleast tell me how i should talk to her or what i should do if i really like her. If you have any other questions, plz ask and i shall explain more.