burnt Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 So, after a long break (almost a year), I have decided to go hunting for another therapist; I just reached a pretty bad crisis in the last few weeks. I went to see a therapist for a first session today and am trying to determine if it's a good fit. It was a "try-out" session, but mostly all of it was spent on just giving the basic info, and so I didn't get a chance to "feel" him out. So my question is, those of you who tried out many therapists, what *specific" suggestions do you have that I should keep in mind when deciding? I am going to "try" out another one before I decide which one to settle down with. I know there's not a quick recipe--I get it; but as I was sitting down talking to this guy, I really couldn't even think of what factors I should be considering in my decision making. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Get a female one (you’re a straight female, right?) so that you don’t have to worry about transference. So, after a long break (almost a year), I have decided to go hunting for another therapist; I just reached a pretty bad crisis in the last few weeks. I went to see a therapist for a first session today and am trying to determine if it's a good fit. It was a "try-out" session, but mostly all of it was spent on just giving the basic info, and so I didn't get a chance to "feel" him out. So my question is, those of you who tried out many therapists, what *specific" suggestions do you have that I should keep in mind when deciding? I am going to "try" out another one before I decide which one to settle down with. I know there's not a quick recipe--I get it; but as I was sitting down talking to this guy, I really couldn't even think of what factors I should be considering in my decision making. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author burnt Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 Get a female one (you’re a straight female, right?) so that you don’t have to worry about transference. Thank you; I wasn't familiar with that term before. All my therapists in the past have been female and I have been hesitant to get a male one, but of the ones I have called, no female ones have reached back to me and so that's why I tested out the male one. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 can they actually help you reach your desired outcome? have you said what that is? did they give refunds? you say "all my therapists in the past" all it would take is one therapist who knows what they are doing, or are you in some way impeded in getting your mind straight? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 First, look up on google the definitions for different types of psychologists and therapy because there's some I just don't like. I hate the ones that just sit not talking and let you ramble and take notes, for example. I forget the types, but it's like cognitive, behavioral, etc. So research that and then google ones in your area and get one in the type you think you'd prefer. Be sure they're licensed psychologists or psychiatrists, not some life coach or "counselor." Then decide do you want male of female. If you fall for women too easy, do NOT get a female if you are a guy! Or get an old one, but do not pick one who's attractive or you'll just get a new problem and she'll kick you out. Then you see if you have some rapport with them or not. I wasn't nuts about mine. Nice, but she seemed like she had very limited life experiences, too buttoned up. Good luck. Hope you find the right one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 1. What's the goal of the therapeutic process? 2. Does the therapist have experience in or specialize in the goal you're pursuing? 3. What's their clinical history? 4. What's their game plan to achieve your goal? 5. Do your interactive styles mesh? I liked our MC because he wasn't reticent about unilateral interaction, sometimes to the point of discomfort, probing, and he rarely took notes but remembered everything. He also had an uncanny ability, no matter how difficult or contentious the session went, to end it on a positive note and feeling. IMO, if you're simply looking for someone to listen to you, don't waste money on a professional psychologist. Try group therapy. Or a good friend. Learn how to listen to others if that's difficult. Communication is a big part of the work done in therapy/counseling. Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 First, look up on google the definitions for different types of psychologists and therapy because there's some I just don't like. I hate the ones that just sit not talking and let you ramble and take notes, for example. I forget the types, but it's like cognitive, behavioral, etc. So research that and then google ones in your area and get one in the type you think you'd prefer. Be sure they're licensed psychologists or psychiatrists, not some life coach or "counselor." Then decide do you want male of female. If you fall for women too easy, do NOT get a female if you are a guy! Or get an old one, but do not pick one who's attractive or you'll just get a new problem and she'll kick you out. Then you see if you have some rapport with them or not. I wasn't nuts about mine. Nice, but she seemed like she had very limited life experiences, too buttoned up. Good luck. Hope you find the right one. Couldn’t agree more about the life experience part! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 What should I look for in a therapist? I was going to say a low co-pay . The only thing I've leaned is not to waste a lot of time with a therapist with whom you don't feel an initial comfort. It makes a difference... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author burnt Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 can they actually help you reach your desired outcome? have you said what that is? did they give refunds? you say "all my therapists in the past" all it would take is one therapist who knows what they are doing, or are you in some way impeded in getting your mind straight? I am sorry...what?!? Sorry, I read your post several times and I don't understand what you are saying. Can you please clarify? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 (edited) I am sorry...what?!? Sorry, I read your post several times and I don't understand what you are saying. Can you please clarify? Just make sure that the therapist can help you specifically. You are hiring them and need to know what they will help you, and not just waffle using assumptions, for they are not cheap. I once went to a therapist who threw a hissy fit at me. She needed therapy more than I did She had gone on some weekend training course, but had no business dealing with vulnerable people. The red flag had been there early on when she randomly phoned me to ask me to help decide on her advertising, which she did, out of appointment hours - but - asked me not to do the same, so I could not phone her randomly. I gave her my time freely when she phoned. But therapists are not friends. Everybody has told you sensible things to look out for. So I will just say have a talk on the phone before you commit to an appointment. Phone around and ask each one what they can do for whatever your specific problem is. You can always ring back to book an appointment. Just listen first to see if you want to hand over your well-being to them. Edited August 10, 2018 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I would think one of the main things you may want is someone you'd be comfortable opening up to. If you have abuse issues, you would likely want someone who does not remind you of any of your abusers. Also someone who is open minded. Link to post Share on other sites
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