Trying to cope with break up after one year relationship

[Rend]

Hey!All friends here,my greeting!

Just break up with my girlfriend,which left me endless pain and i feel so hard to cope with.

It is so embarrassed for me to post my interpersonal affair on website,in consideration of my desperation or maybe this just give us both a way to release.I want to know what should i do next step to face this

 

Here is what things happened.Me and my girlfriend we have been dating and caring and leaning on each other for whole year,i know it is still not so strong bonded as a relationship just last one year(Of course,if it compares with others long term relationship)

I would say,i love her so much,i want to manufacture and try to keep our relationship towards marriage such big thing in my life.i know that she is meant to be my only girl i can care about so much with my whole life.

 

Well,things being dramatic,we actually are in distance,we stay in different city,but for the past year,we are optimistic to face all the problem that has occured,every one week we managed time to stay together for couple days,and spend time together,for making up her days without me,i can give her everything what she likes,even i am currently college student lack of economy.

 

Everytime i come to her city and take her back my city with me,i do not want her to lose money because of me,i cover all fee,everything she loves in life,even i got nothing to eat,i want her happy and enjoy.my friends said i cannot love so hard,but i said love is blind as Shakespeare said.

 

We are always have different quarrel,but every time it never last one day,but this time,its different. That night,we said good night to each other on the phone as usual,and then she sent me one link which is funny that she wants to share with me,because i was so tired and wanted to sleep,so i didnt care about her feeling instead of saying "I do not like this video"and please sleep,yes,i know i was so coldhearted ,but that wasnt what i really mean,i called her back and said i am sorry,i apologised,but this time she really angry and irrated because of this,that night,we argued for almost whole night through the phone,but we didnt solve problem,and next day.

 

I called her at morning,again we argued,she said maybe we are not suitable,she said she feels i am not so happy when i am with her,i told her again and again,i am really happy with you.it didnt work,she said she wants to take a break,it seems like a step to back our relationship,for me,its excuse,but she insists to do that,because she is working in different city,she wants to use this opportunity to separate with me for some times to see what she really wants.

 

And now my assumption become ture,after half month struggling of us,she did press this button and when i called her and desperate to know how is she doing and tell her i really miss her,she treated me as a stalking and trainwreck schoolboy,she said herself feel extremely angry with me,she said that i am pity little boy with no shame,always want to contact her and ask her how is she doing,I was confused and also unsatiesfied with her all answers toward me,i just do not u

 

I do not understand why i can not call my own girl friend,she is only my trustworthy person in this country(I study abroad)I went to her for sometimes to ask reason,she said Its because she found out my personality is so agressive and she can not accept it.

I asked so many times do you still love me?she said she likes me,but she doesnt know what is love,but she did said love during this whole period of our relationship!How she can do this now?I asked myself so many times,how can she just dump me and destroy all our foundation and all the thing we have been through for whole year,i feel extremely heartbroken now.

 

Yes,i also think about reason why she left me,but we can never know what girls think,one thing for sure,she lost that heart to me,she thinks i am not arrow to her heart now maybe.She said she works so busy,how can a babysitter job can fully occupy your free time to talk with your boyfriend.

 

She said that if i really love her,i should set her free,what makes me angry,when i decide to give us an good ending with

out regret for us two,so i wrote her one letter to express all my feeling on her and try to apologise what i have done to hurt her during this relationship with her,and want to call her and tell her to take care of her self,merry meet,merry part,i tried to tell her what i wish best her in the future,she just didnt answer my phone despite i called her for hundred times.

 

what i was doing wrong to make her so hatred me?All the things i want to do is to love her.

Since she insist her decision,so we said goodbye in telephone,her tones was so peace and calm,yes,i know,this time,she left me and i am dumped.

 

I shoudlnt have any expectation to reconcile with her from period we have NC.

After said goodbye,i am so sad and so hurt,the pain of loss,thid loneliness,i do not have one friend i can talk through in this country.i tried to connect with my actual friends through video call,but this world aint stop,for my broken heart.

Edited August 10, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

All break ups are painful. You feel particularly lost because you don't have any local friends to console you. Isn't there anyone from school you can talk to? A classmate, a teacher? Do they have peer counselors at your university? Talk to one of them. Do videochat your buddies back home. If you can, make arrangements to go home for a visit. A home cooked meal & being with your family will help. When you get back to school, build your social circle so you don't feel as isolated.

[Rend]

All break ups are painful. You feel particularly lost because you don't have any local friends to console you. Isn't there anyone from school you can talk to? A classmate, a teacher? Do they have peer counselors at your university? Talk to one of them. Do videochat your buddies back home. If you can, make arrangements to go home for a visit. A home cooked meal & being with your family will help. When you get back to school, build your social circle so you don't feel as isolated.

Thanks mate,i have friend here,but because of short time since i move here,they can not be trusted like i treat my buddies in my own country,not yet,i usually do not share this perosonal issue to them)Toward my friends and circle in university,now i already found out one way to stream off,i planed to listen music which listed ranking country music for break up,i saw same and feel peace when i can listen music that i want.Music give me incentive and good motivation)i found out myself walking in common place people usually had been through,break up stage, just need to move on and take charge of my life again,write everything here in this website,its also solution for me to stream off feeling)Now i have moved on,even she really left her mark in our department,i will try to forger her)Thank you for your advice

[Ralph79]

Everytime i come to her city and take her back my city with me,i do not want her to lose money because of me,i cover all fee,everything she loves in life,even i got nothing to eat,i want her happy and enjoy.my friends said i cannot love so hard,but i said love is blind as Shakespeare said.

 

My friend, your friends gave you good advice. Life thought me the hard way that you can't sustain a relationship through sacrifices. What do I mean by that?

 

It seems that making your partner happy was your life's goal. You didn't care if you didn't have enough to eat, as long as you were able to get her what she wanted. That's not good, because in the process you lose your self respect.

 

I think (In my opinion) most of us want partners who on top of being attractive, caring, and all the usual qualities, in the long run we want to be with people who we can respect and admire for the way they carry themselves, the way they fulfill their responsibilities and not only make time for us, but also make time for themselves.

 

Can you fix the relationship you had with this person? I don't know. There are so many things in play out of your control now. Regardless of weather or not she does come back to your life, you need to start focusing on yourself.

 

Communicating your problems in these forums is good for you. It's not something to feel ashamed about. We all had to overcome insecurities and problems at some point and everyone here has a story to tell on how they did it. You can not only learn lessons that can help you sort things out, but you can also contribute and help others as well.

 

Best advice I can give you for now is, think about how you are feeling today, how unbearable the pain can be sometimes, and make sure you don't let ANYONE put you in this situation again. You are feeling this way because you have empowered this girl in your mind . The moment you get back that power and get a grip on your life make sure you don't surrender that power again to anyone else. The only person who should have control over your feelings & your peace of mind is yourself.

 

Be open to future relationships, but always be cautious of not going too far in completely giving yourself to someone, because there won't be anything left of you for them to love.

 

Cheers Bud.

[Rend]

Thank you for giving me lot of advices and try to give experience to my attitude towards relationship)Indeed,i will know next time what i should do.Love myself abd respect myself is always prior to everything.the reason of failure of this time,after seeing your instruction and it turns out very clear crystal)

Always make myself strong,armour myself with everything i can do,and be open with relationship in the future,i will know how to handle it in the next time,and hapiness will come around,thank you,mate)

[Rend]

My friend, your friends gave you good advice. Life thought me the hard way that you can't sustain a relationship through sacrifices. What do I mean by that?

 

It seems that making your partner happy was your life's goal. You didn't care if you didn't have enough to eat, as long as you were able to get her what she wanted. That's not good, because in the process you lose your self respect.

 

I think (In my opinion) most of us want partners who on top of being attractive, caring, and all the usual qualities, in the long run we want to be with people who we can respect and admire for the way they carry themselves, the way they fulfill their responsibilities and not only make time for us, but also make time for themselves.

 

Can you fix the relationship you had with this person? I don't know. There are so many things in play out of your control now. Regardless of weather or not she does come back to your life, you need to start focusing on yourself.

 

Communicating your problems in these forums is good for you. It's not something to feel ashamed about. We all had to overcome insecurities and problems at some point and everyone here has a story to tell on how they did it. You can not only learn lessons that can help you sort things out, but you can also contribute and help others as well.

 

Best advice I can give you for now is, think about how you are feeling today, how unbearable the pain can be sometimes, and make sure you don't let ANYONE put you in this situation again. You are feeling this way because you have empowered this girl in your mind . The moment you get back that power and get a grip on your life make sure you don't surrender that power again to anyone else. The only person who should have control over your feelings & your peace of mind is yourself.

 

Be open to future relationships, but always be cautious of not going too far in completely giving yourself to someone, because there won't be anything left of you for them to love.

 

Cheers Bud.

Thank you for giving me lot of advices and try to give experience to my attitude towards relationship)Indeed,i will know next time what i should do.Love myself abd respect myself is always prior to everything.the reason of failure of this time,after seeing your instruction and it turns out very clear crystal)

Always make myself strong,armour myself with everything i can do,and be open with relationship in the future,i will know how to handle it in the next time,and hapiness will come around,thank you,mate)

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Thank you for giving me lot of advices and try to give experience to my attitude towards relationship)Indeed,i will know next time what i should do.Love myself abd respect myself is always prior to everything.the reason of failure of this time,after seeing your instruction and it turns out very clear crystal)

Always make myself strong,armour myself with everything i can do,and be open with relationship in the future,i will know how to handle it in the next time,and hapiness will come around,thank you,mate)

[hope86]

The withdrawal is really killing me. One moment I'm like ok things will get better and it's actually better I broke up and the next moment I wish I was dead.

 

I feel such an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I'm simply unable to perform any tasks.

 

I keep wishing that I get shot by some guy on the street. One bullet to the chest or head and all the pain is gone.

 

I can't even commit suicide because in my culture committing suicide is a sin and if you do it you'll be reborn as a rat or a chicken who can get slaughtered in a painful way.

Edited August 11, 2018 by hope86

[Rend]

The withdrawal is really killing me. One moment I'm like ok things will get better and it's actually better I broke up and the next moment I wish I was dead.

 

I feel such an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I'm simply unable to perform any tasks.

 

I keep wishing that I get shot by some guy on the street. One bullet to the chest or head and all the pain is gone.

 

I can't even commit suicide because in my culture committing suicide is a sin and if you do it you'll be reborn as a rat or a chicken who can get slaughtered in a painful way.

Everything will be fine,i am also try to cope with those emptiness and loneliness when i get up at morning after checking beside my pillow,she is not there.but it will be past.

I have moved on,i fly again.